Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says, “Dave, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?”

Jack says, “I feel just like a new-born baby.”

“Really!? Like a new-born baby?” replies Dave.

“Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.”