New Element in the Periodic Table

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet now available for “Woman” element



Hazardous Materials Woman Data Sheet

Element : WOMEN
Symbol : WO+
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be great aid to relaxation.

TESTS
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.

POTENTIAL HAZARD
Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained
at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact
with each other.

!! WARNING !!
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE
FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS
ABOVE PROPERTIES ARE SHOWN BY ALL THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD.



QuotaBills
Women Liberteens - Archie Bunker

What do women want? - Sigmund Freud

Well-behaved women seldom make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown

I have a great relationship with Roger Ailes. - Donald Trump

Women want love to be a novel. Men, a short story. - Daphne du Maurier

A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another. - H L Mencken

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

That woman speaks eighteen languages and can't say no in any of them. - Dorothy Parker

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. - Aristotle Onassis

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. - Margaret Mead

And what is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing. - Geoffrey Chaucer

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. - Joan Baez

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned. - William Congreve

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age; a woman who would tell one would tell one anything. - Oscar Wilde

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. - Clare Boothe Luce

We women know how to take care of everybody so well. But the one person we have written out of the equation is us. - Suze Orman

Men have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. - Sam Malone

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien

Like many other women, I could not understand why every man who changed a diaper has felt impelled, in recent years, to write a book about it. - Barbara Ehrenreich

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner


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27-Apr-2018