New Element in the Periodic Table

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet now available for “Woman” element



Hazardous Materials Woman Data Sheet

Element : WOMEN
Symbol : WO+
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be great aid to relaxation.

TESTS
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.

POTENTIAL HAZARD
Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained
at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact
with each other.

!! WARNING !!
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE
FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS
ABOVE PROPERTIES ARE SHOWN BY ALL THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD.



QuotaBills
Woman was God's second mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Flirting is conversational chemistry. - Isaac Mizrahi

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

Chocolate: God's apology to women for periods. - Unknown

Women want love to be a novel. Men, a short story. - Daphne du Maurier

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken

We're women. We have a double standard to live up to. - Ally McBeal

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. - Henny Youngman

Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. - Debra Messing

Surely a pretty woman never looks prettier than when making tea. - Mary E. Braddon

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

Women with pasts interest men. They hope history will repeat itself. - Mae West

Love is what happens to men and women who don’t know each other. - W Somerset Maugham

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. - Oscar Wilde

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. - Virginia Woolf

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

There is no impossibility to him who stands prepared to conquer every hazard. The fearful are the failing. - Sarah J. Hale

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Never try to impress a woman because if you do, you'll have to keep up that standard the rest of your life. - WC Fields

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

I like the West. That's where men are men and women are women, and it's hard to beat a combination like that. - Milton Berle

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

Men have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. - Sam Malone

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

From a shy, timid girl I had become a woman of resolute character, who could no longer be frightened by the struggle with troubles. - Anna Dostoevsky

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman - it depends on how much happiness you can handle. - George Burns

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw


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20-Jan-2019