New Element in the Periodic Table

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet now available for “Woman” element



Hazardous Materials Woman Data Sheet

Element : WOMEN
Symbol : WO+
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be great aid to relaxation.

TESTS
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.

POTENTIAL HAZARD
Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained
at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact
with each other.

!! WARNING !!
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE
FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS
ABOVE PROPERTIES ARE SHOWN BY ALL THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD.



QuotaBills
What do women want? - Sigmund Freud

Some leaders are born women. - Unknown

Flirting is conversational chemistry. - Isaac Mizrahi

Women should be obscene and not heard. - Groucho Marx

A man thinks he knows, but a woman knows better. - Indian Proverb

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. - Oscar Wilde

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

I like men who have a future and women who have a past. - Oscar Wilde

Women like silent men, they think they're listening. - George Carlin

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes. - Robin Williams

Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

I love men, not because they are men, but because they are not women. - Queen Christina of Sweden

That woman speaks eighteen languages and can't say no in any of them. - Dorothy Parker

Risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. - Leo Buscaglia

The woman who can create her own job is the one who will win fame and fortune. - Amelia Earhart

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent. - Erma Bombeck

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. - Yves St. Laurent

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has at least a dozen, and that they all fit. - Oscar Wilde

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned. - William Congreve

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" - Dumas

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie

We women know how to take care of everybody so well. But the one person we have written out of the equation is us. - Suze Orman

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

Men have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. - Sam Malone

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

Feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength. - G.D. Anderson

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin


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25-Aug-2019