New Element in the Periodic Table

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet now available for “Woman” element



Hazardous Materials Woman Data Sheet

Element : WOMEN
Symbol : WO+
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be great aid to relaxation.

TESTS
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.

POTENTIAL HAZARD
Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained
at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact
with each other.

!! WARNING !!
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE
FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS
ABOVE PROPERTIES ARE SHOWN BY ALL THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD.



QuotaBills
What do women want? - Sigmund Freud

The woman that deliberates is lost. - Joseph Addison

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

A man thinks he knows, but a woman knows better. - Indian Proverb

I have a great relationship with the Mexican people. - Donald Trump

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age. - George Burns

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman thinking. - Virginia Woolf

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. - James Stephens

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. - Aristotle Onassis

The woman who can create her own job is the one who will win fame and fortune. - Amelia Earhart

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

Enthusiasm is a vital element toward the individual success of every man or woman. - Conrad Hilton

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. - Oscar Wilde

Nothing changes the gender equation more significantly than women's economic freedom. - Gloria Steinem

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. - Virginia Woolf

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me. - George Bernard Shaw

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age; a woman who would tell one would tell one anything. - Oscar Wilde

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

No woman is worth more than a fiver unless you're in love with her. Then she is worth all she costs you. - W Somerset Maugham

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

There goes a woman who knows all the things that can be taught and none of the things that cannot be taught. - Coco Chanel

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

From a shy, timid girl I had become a woman of resolute character, who could no longer be frightened by the struggle with troubles. - Anna Dostoevsky


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22-Jul-2018