New Element in the Periodic Table

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet now available for “Woman” element



Hazardous Materials Woman Data Sheet

Element : WOMEN
Symbol : WO+
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be great aid to relaxation.

TESTS
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.

POTENTIAL HAZARD
Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained
at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact
with each other.

!! WARNING !!
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE
FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS
ABOVE PROPERTIES ARE SHOWN BY ALL THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD.



QuotaBills
Women Liberteens - Archie Bunker

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Well-behaved women seldom make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. - Virginia Woolf

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

There's a great woman behind every idiot. - John Lennon

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. - Oscar Wilde

When a woman is openly bad she is then at her best. - Latin Proverb

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

We're women. We have a double standard to live up to. - Ally McBeal

Amazing women don't have hot flashes. We have power surges. - Unknown

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. - Groucho Marx

Women's styles may change but their designs remain the same. - Oscar Wilde

The three words every woman really longs to hear: I'll clean up. - Molly Shannon

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. - Erica Jong

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

Women over thirty are at their best, but men over thirty are too old to recognize it. - Jean-Paul Belmondo

A consultant is a man who knows 147 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women. - Unknown

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster

A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is usually plain. - Oscar Wilde

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. - Joan Baez

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men - they are far superior and always have been. - William Golding

Never try to impress a woman because if you do, you'll have to keep up that standard the rest of your life. - WC Fields

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld

From a shy, timid girl I had become a woman of resolute character, who could no longer be frightened by the struggle with troubles. - Anna Dostoevsky

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

Like many other women, I could not understand why every man who changed a diaper has felt impelled, in recent years, to write a book about it. - Barbara Ehrenreich


see also   Chemistry,  Engineer  &  Relationship  Sections
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26-May-2019