1. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
2. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
3. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
4. Get a new car for your spouse. It’ll be a great trade!
5. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
6. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
7. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand...
8. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
9. How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
10. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
11. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
12. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
13. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
14. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
15. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
16. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
17. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
18. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
19. I couldn’t repair your brake, so I made your horn louder.
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
22. Just remember - if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until
you hear them speak.
24. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
25. A day without sunshine is like night.
26. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
27. Getting lost in thought may put you in unfamiliar territory.
28. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
29. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
30. You’re diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
31. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
32. Remember that half the people you know are below average.
33. Despite the high cost of living, it’s still extremely popular.
34. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
35. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
36. Drive way too fast and you don’t have to worry about cholesterol.
37. If you intend to live forever, so far, so good.
38. Borrow money only from pessimists; they don’t expect it back.
39. Support bacteria; they’re the only culture some people have.
40. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy the evidence.
41. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
42. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
43. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
44. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
45. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
46. Success always occurs in private; failure, in full view.
47. The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
48. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach
49. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
50. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
51. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
52. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard (and not enough
53. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
54. If you think nobody cares try missing a couple of payments.
55. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Without music, life would be a mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Life is short. Eat cookies for breakfast. - Unknown
Life is painting a picture, not doing a sum. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
Survival is a major contributor to longevity. - Unknown
Life's failures are stepping stones to success. - Unknown
If you don't run your own life, somebody else will. - John Atkinson
To die in the flower of age is a life offered in sacrifice. - Madagascar Saying
Dare to ask questions and seek answers to the puzzles of life. - Lailah G. Akita
Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves? - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late. - Benjamin Franklin
Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer
I always ask the question, "Is this what I want in my life?" - Kathy Ireland
The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway. - Henry Boye
Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive. - Elbert Hubbard
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles
Your attitude towards anything in life is completely under your control. - Micah Lacerte
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. - Josh Billings
There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens
The sunshine of life is made up of very little beams that are bright all the time. - Dr. John Aiken
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it. - W.M. Lewis
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - Groucho Marx
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18. - Mark Twain
That state of life is most happy where superfluities are not required and necessities are not wanting. - Plutarch
I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump
Life must be lived and curiosity kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life. - Eleanor Roosevelt
I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen
Enthusiasm is the electricity of life. How do you get it? You act enthusiastic until you make it a habit. - Gordon Parks
You can get everything you want or need in life if you just help enough people get what they want and need. - Zig Ziglar
Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana. - Lana Turner
Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley
I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule
I felt as if I were walking with destiny, and that all my past life had been but a preparation for this hour and this trial. - Winston Churchill
One of the most wonderful things about life is that we must regularly stop what we are doing and devote our attention to eating. - Samuel Johnson
For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader
The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended - and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended. - Robert Frost
I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want. - Mark Twain
Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life. - Groucho Marx
If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise
Nobody like to fail, but failure is an essential part of life and of learning. If your uniform isn't dirty, you haven't been in the game. - Ben Bernanke
Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed. - Booker T. Washington
3 Stages Of A Man’s Life
4 Stages Of Life
Bacon Is Life
Balanced Family Life
Better Start In Life
Extension of Life
Leading a Remote Life
Life And Beer Are Very Similar
Life Cycle of a Chicken
My Life Goal
My Life in Segments
One Of Life’s Equations
Secret For A Long, Happy Life
Sometimes Life Just Isn’t Fair
The Wheels of Life
Throw Your Life Away
When Life Gets You Down
Canadian Food Chain
Flintstone Drum Set
Bird Cage Illness
Texas Office Chair
IKEA Food Size
It's A Cracker
Nintendo Auto Correct
Sun Son Power
That Was Zen
My Kind Of Marathon