How To Weigh Yourself Correctly

How to do it properly?   Weigh down on the job!

I can’t believe I was doing it wrong all these years!

How To Correctly Weigh Yourself - turn the scale upside down

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

I often take exercise. Only yesterday I had breakfast in bed. - Oscar Wilde

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

Maybe I oughta get one of them priests in to exercise with her. - Archie Bunker

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away. - Paul Terry

Every time I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. - Robert Hutchins

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

Great is the height I must scale, but the prospect of glory gives me strength. - Propertius

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

I see their souls, and I hold them in my hands, and because I love them they weigh nothing. - Pearl Bailey

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun

Every leap year I like to jump. It’s a good way to get my daily exercise in every four years. - Jarod Kintz

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

Economies of scale are a good thing. If we didn't have them, we'd still be living in tents and eating buffalo. - Jamie Dimon

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the "gotta have it" scale. - Zig Ziglar

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock

see also   Diet  &  Inspiration  Sections
Diet Scale
Diet Water
Eat Your Vegetables
How To Cut Down On Your Drinking
New Wal-Mart Mirror


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