Fatherly Advice

Dad & Son talk... be-fore it’s too late!


A father spoke to his son, “It’s time we had a little talk, my son. Soon you will have urges and feelings you’ve never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You’ll be preoccupied and won’t be able to think of anything else.”

He added, “But don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal... it’s called golf.”


QuotaBills
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

A father is a banker provided by nature. - French Proverb

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. - Luke 23:24

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. - Anne Sexton

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

I haven't taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week. - Mario Cuomo

My father used to say, "If you want to be different, do something different." - Wynton Marsalis

My father had a piano that was a nickelodeon - put a nickel, and the roller would play. - Frank Sinatra

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

The most important thing my father taught me is that every man has to stand up for his rights. - Ziggy Marley

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. - Rodney Dangerfield

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

My father instilled in me that if you don't see things happening the way you want them to, you get out there and make them happen. - Susan Powter

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


see also   Golf  Section
Father Sayings for Father’s Day
Father’s Day Selfie
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages

 

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19-Mar-2019