Fatherly Advice

Dad & Son talk... be-fore it’s too late!


A father spoke to his son, “It’s time we had a little talk, my son. Soon you will have urges and feelings you’ve never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You’ll be preoccupied and won’t be able to think of anything else.”

He added, “But don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal... it’s called golf.”


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No. I am your Father. - Darth Vader

The Child is father of the Man. - William Wordsworth

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. - Luke 23:24

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

My father... one of the great immorals, er, immortals, of our time. - WC Fields

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

I haven't taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week. - Mario Cuomo

My father used to say, "Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument." - Desmond Tutu

My father used to say, "If you want to be different, do something different." - Wynton Marsalis

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. - Mark Twain

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 5:14-16

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. - Rodney Dangerfield

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

My father was a baker and a lot of people do what their families did and I could have done that but I wanted to stay in show business. - Christopher Walken

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez


see also   Golf  Section
Father Sayings for Father’s Day
Father’s Day Selfie
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages

 

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24-Jul-2017