Fatherly Advice

Dad & Son talk... be-fore it’s too late!


A father spoke to his son, “It’s time we had a little talk, my son. Soon you will have urges and feelings you’ve never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You’ll be preoccupied and won’t be able to think of anything else.”

He added, “But don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal... it’s called golf.”


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No. I am your Father. - Darth Vader

Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - John Wooden

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

My heart is happy, my mind is free.
I had a father who talked with me. - Hilde Bigelow

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

Those who slew my father I drove into exile... and defeated them in battle. - Augustus

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence B. Kelland

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

The Holy Father's newest Encyclacle? Like anyone cares what he rides around on. - Archie Bunker

It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXIII

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. - Mark Twain

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

That he delights in the misery of others no man will confess, and yet what other motive can make a father cruel? - Joseph Addison

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

When I was nine, my father said 'You can take piano lessons or do karate' - I had a black belt and was competing before I was 19. - Elodie Yung

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son. - Darth Vader


see also   Golf  Section
Father Sayings for Father’s Day
Father’s Day Selfie
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages

 

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18-Feb-2018