Fatherly Advice

Dad & Son talk... be-fore it’s too late!


A father spoke to his son, “It’s time we had a little talk, my son. Soon you will have urges and feelings you’ve never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You’ll be preoccupied and won’t be able to think of anything else.”

He added, “But don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal... it’s called golf.”


QuotaBills
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. - George Herbert

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx

My father... one of the great immorals, er, immortals, of our time. - WC Fields

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. - Anne Sexton

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXIII

My father used to say, "Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument." - Desmond Tutu

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 5:14-16

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. - Rodney Dangerfield

My father instilled in me that if you don't see things happening the way you want them to, you get out there and make them happen. - Susan Powter

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas

When I was nine, my father said 'You can take piano lessons or do karate' - I had a black belt and was competing before I was 19. - Elodie Yung

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump


see also   Golf  Section
Father Sayings for Father’s Day
Father’s Day Selfie
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages

 

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18-Sep-2019