Fatherly Advice

Dad & Son talk... be-fore it’s too late!


A father spoke to his son, “It’s time we had a little talk, my son. Soon you will have urges and feelings you’ve never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You’ll be preoccupied and won’t be able to think of anything else.”

He added, “But don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal... it’s called golf.”


QuotaBills
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

The Child is father of the Man. - William Wordsworth

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

A father is a banker provided by nature. - French Proverb

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get. - Tim Russert

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. - Luke 23:24

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. - Spike Milligan

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. - Jay London

My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

Those who slew my father I drove into exile... and defeated them in battle. - Augustus

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

The Holy Father's newest Encyclacle? Like anyone cares what he rides around on. - Archie Bunker

It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXIII

My father used to say, "If you want to be different, do something different." - Wynton Marsalis

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. - Charles Wadsworth

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 5:14-16

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. - Rodney Dangerfield

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas

My father was a baker and a lot of people do what their families did and I could have done that but I wanted to stay in show business. - Christopher Walken

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

How shall a man escape from his ancestors, or draw off from his veins the black drop which he drew from his father’s or mother's life? - Ralph Waldo Emerson


see also   Golf  Section
Father Sayings for Father’s Day
Father’s Day Selfie
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages

 

Skype Hype

Almost Batman

Cadillac Bike

Donut Decadence

Manmade Beach in Japan

Bacon Bikes

Animal Taxi

Lego Key Holder

Mechanic Apprentice

Redneck Helicopter

Hairy Egg

Fork Door Handle

Making Hockey More Popular

Suitcase WorkPlace

One-Knight Stands

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

21-May-2019