Fatherly Advice

Dad & Son talk... be-fore it’s too late!


A father spoke to his son, “It’s time we had a little talk, my son. Soon you will have urges and feelings you’ve never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You’ll be preoccupied and won’t be able to think of anything else.”

He added, “But don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal... it’s called golf.”


QuotaBills
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

The Child is father of the Man. - William Wordsworth

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. - Luke 23:24

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia Child

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

My heart is happy, my mind is free.
I had a father who talked with me. - Hilde Bigelow

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

Those who slew my father I drove into exile... and defeated them in battle. - Augustus

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence B. Kelland

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

The Holy Father's newest Encyclacle? Like anyone cares what he rides around on. - Archie Bunker

My father used to say, "If you want to be different, do something different." - Wynton Marsalis

My father had a piano that was a nickelodeon - put a nickel, and the roller would play. - Frank Sinatra

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. - Rodney Dangerfield

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

My father instilled in me that if you don't see things happening the way you want them to, you get out there and make them happen. - Susan Powter

My father was a baker and a lot of people do what their families did and I could have done that but I wanted to stay in show business. - Christopher Walken

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez


see also   Golf  Section
Father Sayings for Father’s Day
Father’s Day Selfie
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages

 

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30-May-2017