Fatherly Advice

Dad & Son talk... be-fore it’s too late!


A father spoke to his son, “It’s time we had a little talk, my son. Soon you will have urges and feelings you’ve never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You’ll be preoccupied and won’t be able to think of anything else.”

He added, “But don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal... it’s called golf.”


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No. I am your Father. - Darth Vader

The Child is father of the Man. - William Wordsworth

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia Child

The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - John Wooden

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

My heart is happy, my mind is free.
I had a father who talked with me. - Hilde Bigelow

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence B. Kelland

The Holy Father's newest Encyclacle? Like anyone cares what he rides around on. - Archie Bunker

It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXIII

I haven't taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week. - Mario Cuomo

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

That he delights in the misery of others no man will confess, and yet what other motive can make a father cruel? - Joseph Addison

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

My father instilled in me that if you don't see things happening the way you want them to, you get out there and make them happen. - Susan Powter

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son. - Darth Vader

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


see also   Golf  Section
Father Sayings for Father’s Day
Father’s Day Selfie
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages

 

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22-Oct-2018