Fatherly Advice

Dad & Son talk... be-fore it’s too late!


A father spoke to his son, “It’s time we had a little talk, my son. Soon you will have urges and feelings you’ve never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You’ll be preoccupied and won’t be able to think of anything else.”

He added, “But don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal... it’s called golf.”


QuotaBills
Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx

My father... one of the great immorals, er, immortals, of our time. - WC Fields

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. - Jay London

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia Child

The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - John Wooden

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Ray Chenoweth

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. - Mark Twain

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

The most important thing my father taught me is that every man has to stand up for his rights. - Ziggy Marley

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. - Charles Wadsworth

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas

My father was a baker and a lot of people do what their families did and I could have done that but I wanted to stay in show business. - Christopher Walken

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez


see also   Golf  Section
Father Sayings for Father’s Day
Father’s Day Selfie
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages

 

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26-Sep-2017