Lawyer’s Genie-ous Catch

Ever wish you could give twice as much to your lawyer?


A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a catch.”

“What catch?”

The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.

“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.

“Next wish?”
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.

“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.

“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney!”


QuotaBills
The law is silent during war. - Cicero

Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker

Let justice be done though the heavens should fall. - John Adams

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

My photographs don't do me justice – they just look like me. - Phyllis Diller

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson

Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington

Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary. - Reinhold Niebuhr

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge


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23-Jun-2018