A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a
The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.
“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.
“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.
“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always
wanted to donate a kidney!”
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers
The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow
Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker
I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter
A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown
The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno
Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson
The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero
We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North
Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire
Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx
Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw
Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey
Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb
Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce
The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr
The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde
Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb
A society that has more justice is a society that needs less charity. - Ralph Nader
Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson
Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler
Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius
I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown
It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field
The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle
Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson
I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman
Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld
True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker
The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand
Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn
Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day
My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez
If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe
I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger
If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams
A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy
Justice, sir, is the great interest of man on earth. It is the ligament which holds civilized beings and civilized nations together. - Daniel Webster
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein
Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West
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