A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a
The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.
“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.
“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.
“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always
wanted to donate a kidney!”
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell
The law is silent during war. - Cicero
Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke
I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter
A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown
Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson
Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover
Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller
In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler
Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown
Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker
A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost
I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro
Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx
Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken
Sometimes justice is at its most merciful when it's blind. - Nancy Gibbs
There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain
My photographs don't do me justice – they just look like me. - Phyllis Diller
The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer
The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde
Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson
Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius
Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis
If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields
Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell
The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm
Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown
I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny
The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand
My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson
Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson
If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine
At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle
The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France
In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay
I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.
When you say justice, it doesn't have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly. - Kanye West
Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary. - Reinhold Niebuhr
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin
A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein
Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille
Genie & Lawyer Sections
40th Wedding Anniversary
Cowboy’s Gift From Revenue Canada
Dog Pot Nap
Shame On All You Hunters
Names of the Colours
Chinese Take Away
Revenge of the Stallion
Learning To 'Fly'
New Deer Rifle
Sushi To Go
Guess the Beer
World's First Computer
At Home Grave