A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a
The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.
“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.
“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.
“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always
wanted to donate a kidney!”
The law is silent during war. - Cicero
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope
The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow
Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker
A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying
Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown
Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle
In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler
Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart
The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. - Martin Luther King Jr.
Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall
I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare
Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Canada is the homeland of equality, justice and tolerance. - Kim Campbell
In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls. - Lenny Bruce
If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens
The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb
People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus
Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx
There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce
Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown
Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler
Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis
So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa
A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo
Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown
Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce
Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker
To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton
Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington
A criminal remains a criminal whether he uses a convict's suit or a monarch's crown. - Victor Hugo
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. - Edsgar Dijkstra
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan
I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman
People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown
The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger
When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin
I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge
The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright
What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne
There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant
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