A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a
The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.
“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.
“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.
“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always
wanted to donate a kidney!”
The law is silent during war. - Cicero
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers
A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown
A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying
Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover
OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker
A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown
In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler
Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying
To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan
Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown
Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown
I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North
Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart
The genie can't be pushed back into the bottle. - David N Leff
Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire
The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren
Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker
The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown
Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius
Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem
There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln
I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More
The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde
A society that has more justice is a society that needs less charity. - Ralph Nader
The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson
The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm
Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld
True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day
My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez
Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson
If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine
Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. - Edsgar Dijkstra
I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman
People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown
The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly
Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe
I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge
Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille
The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright
There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant
Genie & Lawyer Sections
40th Wedding Anniversary
Cowboy’s Gift From Revenue Canada
Stealth Cell Phone Tower
Holes of the World
Australian Wildfire Survivor
Frog Spout Security
Walkway To Heaven
Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile
Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers
Under The Weather