Lawyer’s Genie-ous Catch

Ever wish you could give twice as much to your lawyer?


A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a catch.”

“What catch?”

The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.

“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.

“Next wish?”
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.

“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.

“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney!”


QuotaBills
The law is silent during war. - Cicero

Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart

The genie can't be pushed back into the bottle. - David N Leff

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

A society that has more justice is a society that needs less charity. - Ralph Nader

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. - Edsgar Dijkstra

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant


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20-May-2019