Lawyer’s Genie-ous Catch

Ever wish you could give twice as much to your lawyer?


A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a catch.”

“What catch?”

The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.

“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.

“Next wish?”
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.

“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.

“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney!”


QuotaBills
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

The law is silent during war. - Cicero

Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke

I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker

A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost

I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken

Sometimes justice is at its most merciful when it's blind. - Nancy Gibbs

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

My photographs don't do me justice – they just look like me. - Phyllis Diller

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson

Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm

Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

When you say justice, it doesn't have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly. - Kanye West

Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary. - Reinhold Niebuhr

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille


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20-Oct-2018