Lawyer’s Genie-ous Catch

Ever wish you could give twice as much to your lawyer?


A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a catch.”

“What catch?”

The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.

“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.

“Next wish?”
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.

“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.

“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney!”


QuotaBills
The law is silent during war. - Cicero

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow

Justice delayed is justice denied. - William Gladstone

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

If you want peace, you must work for justice. - Pope Paul VI

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

Let justice be done though the heavens should fall. - John Adams

I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm

Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

While there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free. - Eugene V Debs

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright


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23-Jul-2019