Sewing Machine For Sale

Cheap Love Not Included

“Can I have the Classified Ads Re-Correction Department, please?”


[These four classified ads appeared in a newspaper on four consecutive days... the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake...]

MONDAY
“For sale - SK Sharath has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 255-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him cheap.”

TUESDAY
Notice: We regret having erred in SK Sharath’s ad yesterday. It should have read:
“One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 255-0707 and ask for Mrs Mani, who lives with him after 7PM.”

WEDNESDAY
Notice: SK Sharath has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows:
“For sale - SK Sharath has a sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 255-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who loves with him.”

THURSDAY
“Notice: I, SK Sharath, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don’t call 255-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs Mani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper but she quit.”


QuotaBills
Clarity trumps persuasion. - Flint McGlaughlin

Your culture is your brand. - Tony Hsieh

It costs a lot to build bad products. - Norman Augustine

I try to figure out the marketing puzzle. - Nelson Peltz

I've got the hottest brand in the world. - Donald Trump

Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale. - Neil O Gustafson

Social media are tools. Real time is a mindset. - David M. Scott

By listening, marketing will re-learn how to talk. - David Weinberger

Marketing strategy is a lot like military strategy. - Liddell Hart

Marketing isn't magic. There is a science to it. - Dan Zarrella

I intend to build this brand again... Elite is legendary. - Donald Trump

For corporate marketers, podcasting is low-hanging fruit. - Paul Gillin

A brand new vacuum cleaner with all the latest attractions - Archie Bunker

Give them quality. That's the best kind of advertising. - Milton Hershey

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill-bucket. - George Orwell

Advertising is the greatest art form of the twentieth century. - Marshall McLuhan

No great marketing decision was ever made on quantitative data. - John Sculley

Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. - Jill Konrath

Increasingly, the mass marketing is turning into a mass of niches. - Chris Anderson

When all you've got is a hammer, bad service looks like a nail. - Doc Searls

Advertising has annihilated the power of the most powerful adjectives. - Paul Valery

Yesterday ended last night. Today is a brand new day and it's yours. - Zig Ziglar

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. - Mark Twain

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing about. - Benjamin Franklin

Marketing is trying to figure out what people want so you can give it to them. - Shelly Lazarus

Advertising Agency: Eighty-five percent confusion and fifteen percent commission. - Fred Allen

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

We have always said that advertising is just the icing on the cake. It is not the cake. - Meg Whitman

Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is, I don't know which half. - John Wannamaker

No matter what, the very first piece of social media real estate I'd start with is a blog. - Chris Brogan

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

Companies need to lighten up and take themselves less seriously. They need to get a sense of humor. - Unknown

The way you can understand all of the social media is as the creation of a new kind of public space. - Danah Boyd

Advertising promotes the divine discontent which makes people strive to improve their economic status. - Ralph Butler

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

It no longer makes economic sense to send an advertising message to the many in hopes of persuading the few. - M. Lawrence Light

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it. - Stephen Leacock

In today's information age of Marketing and Web 2.0, a company's website is the key to their entire business. - Marcus Sheridan

The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself. - Peter F Drucker

Audiences everywhere are tough. They don't have time to be bored or brow beaten by orthodox, old fashioned advertising. - Craig Davis

Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing, but nobody else does. - Stuart H Britt

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

Instead of one-way interruption, Web marketing is about delivering useful content at just the precise moment that a buyer needs it. - David M. Scott

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless. - Sinclair Lewis

Search, a marketing method that didn't exist a decade ago, provides the most efficient and inexpensive way for businesses to find leads. - John Battelle

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't need to advertise it. - Will Rogers

Advertising moves the goods - if it's good advertising. Bad advertising doesn't move the goods because it doesn't move the buyers. - Unknown

Social media is about friending someone so they'll invite you to a party or get you a job. If that's the work, Snapchat is the playground. - Evan Spiegel

If you have more money than brains, you should focus on outbound marketing. If you have more brains than money, you should focus on inbound marketing. - Guy Kawasaki


see also   Daffynitions,  Language  &  Quote  Sections
Church Bulletin Bloopers
Engrish
Flubbed Headlines
Headline Stories
Newspaper Bloopers
Resumé Bloopers

Crap Sale
Demo House For Sale
Digital Camera For Sale - Only Used Once
Donut Sale
“End Of World” Car Sale
Far Wood Sale
For Sale, Due To Market Changes
For Sale - One Useless Cat
GM’s Scratch and Dent Sale
Groj Sale
Groj Sale In The Country
Guard Dog For Sale
Half House For Sale
Hay For Sale
iPad For Sale
Lamp Post For Sale
Leaf Blower for Sale
Motorcycle For Sale
New Batch For Sale
Peanut Sale
Pen Sale Not
Pickup For Sale - Come Get It Quick!
Pony For Sale
Puppies For Sale
Redneck Estate Sale
Saskatchewan Snowmobile For Sale
Steak Sale
Swimming Pool For Sale - House Not Included
Used Cows For Sale
Wedding Dress For Sale

 

Just Checking

Is This What You Think I Look Like?

Pirate X-ray

Moving Day in Texas

Australia 101 For Tourists

Rich Kid On The Block

X-Factor Sudoku Puzzles

Scenic View

Secondhand Vegetarian

Pencil Shavings

Culinary Breakthrough

Young or Old Swimmer?

Israeli TSA

Caffeine Boosters

Helicopter Mother Load

Parking Privilege

Sorry

Chicken Rider

Creative Charity

Woodcutter Birthday Cake
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

26-Apr-2017