Moses As A Lifeguard

Parting the waters ahead of his time

Moses’ first and last day as a lifeguard



First came Homer Simpson off the high diving platform
Moses As A Lifeguard

... and the next casualty was the Joe-kster


QuotaBills
For every Pharoah there is a Moses. - Idries Shah

There is no substitute for the Bible. - Henry Halley

The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker

The equation of religion with belief is rather recent. - Arnold J. Toynbee

The more wonderful the meeting, the sadder the parting. - Pokemon

The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith

How far would Moses have gone if he had taken a poll in Egypt? - Harry S Truman

There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Don't they get afraid, then?
They have a religion for that. - Ray Bradbury

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke

The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson

Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow. - William Shakespeare

There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody

My favourite characters in the Bible are King David, Delilah and Charlton Heston. - Milton Berle

To be religious is to have a life that flows with the presence of the extraordinary. - Ann Belford Ulanov

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. - Kahlil Gibran

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in Church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. - Fred Allen

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

He who begins with Metaphysics will not only become confused in matters of religion, but will fall into complete infidelity. - Maimonides

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


see also   Diving,  Homerisms  &  Religious   Sections
40 Years In The Desert - The Real Story
Bathroom Diving
Church Sign Messages
If God Had Texted the 10 Commandments
Iraqi Olympic Diving Team
Moses’ Computer Skills
Moses’ Headache Relief
Moses’ Headache Relief  (Sequel)
Moses’ USB Tablets
Parting of the Red Sea
The Stoned Age & Judyism by College Students
Sunday Weather Forecast
Truth Decay

Mel Hardman (aka elvisweathercock)   Animations

 

Last Selfie

Cat Brush

Shopping Bike

Hide and Seek

Paint Pants

Newfie Riding Lawn Mower

Dryland Fishing

Korean Public Toilet

Sudoku Sampler

Redneck Moving Company

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

British Holiday

MicroMac

Towel Dog

Breakfast Cupcakes
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24-May-2017