Moses As A Lifeguard

Parting the waters ahead of his time

Moses’ first and last day as a lifeguard



First came Homer Simpson off the high diving platform
Moses As A Lifeguard

... and the next casualty was the Joe-kster


QuotaBills
Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo

There is no substitute for the Bible. - Henry Halley

Religion is the opiate of the masses. - Karl Marx

That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker

Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. - Edmund Burke

The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker

The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke

The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson

Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow. - William Shakespeare

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

To be religious is to have a life that flows with the presence of the extraordinary. - Ann Belford Ulanov

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

And here's Moses Kiptanui, the nineteen-year-old Kenyan, who turned twenty a few weeks ago. - David Coleman

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

If Moses had been paid newspaper rates for the Ten Commandments, he might have written the Two Thousand Commandments. - Isaac B. Singer

I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress. - Ronald Reagan

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy


see also   Diving,  Homerisms  &  Religious   Sections
40 Years In The Desert - The Real Story
Bathroom Diving
Church Sign Messages
If God Had Texted the 10 Commandments
Iraqi Olympic Diving Team
Moses’ Computer Skills
Moses’ Headache Relief
Moses’ Headache Relief  (Sequel)
Moses’ USB Tablets
Parting of the Red Sea
The Stoned Age & Judyism by College Students
Sunday Weather Forecast
Truth Decay

Mel Hardman (aka elvisweathercock)   Animations

 

Ice Cream Rose

Dawn Gone

Bolt Action Door

You Want Me To Do What?

Metro Support

Fear Of Light

South Africa Taxi

Child Disarma-meant

Propane Diving

Leave Toes Outside

Tightrope Bike

China Road Load

Mega Samurai Puzzles A

Chinese Road Rocks

Lunch Break on a Hot Day
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17-Feb-2018