Moses As A Lifeguard

Parting the waters ahead of his time

Moses’ first and last day as a lifeguard



First came Homer Simpson off the high diving platform
Moses As A Lifeguard

... and the next casualty was the Joe-kster


QuotaBills
There is no substitute for the Bible. - Henry Halley

Religion is the opiate of the masses. - Karl Marx

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. - Homer

Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. - Edmund Burke

The more wonderful the meeting, the sadder the parting. - Pokemon

The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

How far would Moses have gone if he had taken a poll in Egypt? - Harry S Truman

There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Don't they get afraid, then?
They have a religion for that. - Ray Bradbury

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants. - Carrie Prejean

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

Moses was the greatest legislator and the commander in chief of perhaps the first liberation army. - Elie Wiesel

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. - Kahlil Gibran

He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

The task of organized religion is not to prove that God was in the 1st century, but that he is in the 20th. - S.H. Miller

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Moses took us Israelis forty years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil. - Golda Meir

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy

To say that authority, whether secular or religious, supplies no ground for morality is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction. - Joseph Addison

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


see also   Diving,  Homerisms  &  Religious   Sections
40 Years In The Desert - The Real Story
Bathroom Diving
Church Sign Messages
If God Had Texted the 10 Commandments
Iraqi Olympic Diving Team
Moses’ Computer Skills
Moses’ Headache Relief
Moses’ Headache Relief  (Sequel)
Moses’ USB Tablets
Parting of the Red Sea
The Stoned Age & Judyism by College Students
Sunday Weather Forecast
Truth Decay

Mel Hardman (aka elvisweathercock)   Animations

 

Snow Monster Yard

Chewie, We're Home

Snow Detour

Mid Flight Owl

Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Scottish Weather Forecast

T-Rex Shadow

99 Pack

Samurai Sudoku Puzzles C

FIFA HQ

Wife Consumption

Hummer Motorcycle

Time Is Free

Owl Balloon

Fish Diet Meal
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13-Dec-2017