Moses As A Lifeguard

Parting the waters ahead of his time

Moses’ first and last day as a lifeguard



First came Homer Simpson off the high diving platform
Moses As A Lifeguard

... and the next casualty was the Joe-kster


QuotaBills
My true religion is Kindness. - Dalai Lama

For every Pharoah there is a Moses. - Idries Shah

Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo

That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker

The equation of religion with belief is rather recent. - Arnold J. Toynbee

The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith

How far would Moses have gone if he had taken a poll in Egypt? - Harry S Truman

Don't they get afraid, then?
They have a religion for that. - Ray Bradbury

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

There is a world of practical religion in simply being considerate of others. - Roger Babson

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

To be religious is to have a life that flows with the presence of the extraordinary. - Ann Belford Ulanov

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

The bulletin board on the lawn of a New Jersey Church reads "We reserve the right to accept everybody." - John Kazmark

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. - Mark Twain

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in Church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. - Fred Allen

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

Everyone has their preferred stroller, their preferred crib, their preferred Moses basket. And they have advice on that too! - Tori Spelling

He who begins with Metaphysics will not only become confused in matters of religion, but will fall into complete infidelity. - Maimonides

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Moses took us Israelis forty years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil. - Golda Meir

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

People are so shocked when they find... out I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. And I go to church, and I love God, and I love my church. - Donald Trump

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy


see also   Diving,  Homerisms  &  Religious   Sections
40 Years In The Desert - The Real Story
Bathroom Diving
Church Sign Messages
If God Had Texted the 10 Commandments
Iraqi Olympic Diving Team
Moses’ Computer Skills
Moses’ Headache Relief
Moses’ Headache Relief  (Sequel)
Moses’ USB Tablets
Parting of the Red Sea
The Stoned Age & Judyism by College Students
Sunday Weather Forecast
Truth Decay

Mel Hardman (aka elvisweathercock)   Animations

 

H1N1 Flu Mask

Chapman Creek Hike, Sechelt

Snow Music

Sudoku Sampler

Young Mechanic

Selma Park Hike, Sechelt

Clean Windows Are Highly Over-rated

The Great Depression

Stop, You're Under A Rest!

Dog Digest

Crowston Connector Hike, Sechelt

Drive Thru Restaurants

Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart

Don't Ever Give Up

Every Man Should Get One
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24-Mar-2017