Moses As A Lifeguard

Parting the waters ahead of his time

Moses’ first and last day as a lifeguard



First came Homer Simpson off the high diving platform
Moses As A Lifeguard

... and the next casualty was the Joe-kster


QuotaBills
My true religion is Kindness. - Dalai Lama

Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. - Homer

The more wonderful the meeting, the sadder the parting. - Pokemon

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson

To be religious is to have a life that flows with the presence of the extraordinary. - Ann Belford Ulanov

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. - Kahlil Gibran

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager

"I am who I am", said God to Moses regarding His name, because none was worth to be compared to His godhead. - Toba Beta

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress. - Ronald Reagan

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in Church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. - Fred Allen

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

Everyone has their preferred stroller, their preferred crib, their preferred Moses basket. And they have advice on that too! - Tori Spelling

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


see also   Diving,  Homerisms  &  Religious   Sections
40 Years In The Desert - The Real Story
Bathroom Diving
Church Sign Messages
If God Had Texted the 10 Commandments
Iraqi Olympic Diving Team
Moses’ Computer Skills
Moses’ Headache Relief
Moses’ Headache Relief  (Sequel)
Moses’ USB Tablets
Parting of the Red Sea
The Stoned Age & Judyism by College Students
Sunday Weather Forecast
Truth Decay

Mel Hardman (aka elvisweathercock)   Animations

 

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23-Apr-2017