Moses As A Lifeguard

Parting the waters ahead of his time

Moses’ first and last day as a lifeguard



First came Homer Simpson off the high diving platform
Moses As A Lifeguard

... and the next casualty was the Joe-kster


QuotaBills
For every Pharoah there is a Moses. - Idries Shah

Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo

There is no substitute for the Bible. - Henry Halley

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. - Homer

The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker

The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

How far would Moses have gone if he had taken a poll in Egypt? - Harry S Truman

There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it. - George Bernard Shaw

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke

Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow. - William Shakespeare

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

To be religious is to have a life that flows with the presence of the extraordinary. - Ann Belford Ulanov

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

While waiting for a Moses to lead us into the promised land, we have forgotten how to walk. - Wendell Johnson

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but live for it. - Charles Caleb Colton

Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. - Kahlil Gibran

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager

I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress. - Ronald Reagan

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in Church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. - Fred Allen

Everyone has their preferred stroller, their preferred crib, their preferred Moses basket. And they have advice on that too! - Tori Spelling

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain


see also   Diving,  Homerisms  &  Religious   Sections
40 Years In The Desert - The Real Story
Bathroom Diving
Church Sign Messages
If God Had Texted the 10 Commandments
Iraqi Olympic Diving Team
Moses’ Computer Skills
Moses’ Headache Relief
Moses’ Headache Relief  (Sequel)
Moses’ USB Tablets
Parting of the Red Sea
The Stoned Age & Judyism by College Students
Sunday Weather Forecast
Truth Decay

Mel Hardman (aka elvisweathercock)   Animations

 

NFL Military

Aussie Selfie

Sports Car Delivery in Texas

Travel Mints

Nuts

Lego Haircut

Luxury Wheel Chair

Mega Samurai Puzzles B

The Importance Of Education

Market Birds - a Poultry Sum

Car Plunge

In Deep Water

Escher Dilemma

Microwave Mailbox

Trunk Minions
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17-Oct-2017