Scratch-Off Parking Tickets

Parking is such street sorrow. - Herb Caen

Winners train, losers complain. - Unknown

Scratch a lover, and find a foe. - Dorothy Parker

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Only the winners decide what were war crimes. - Gary Wills

What makes a winner as much as anything: luck. - Red Auerbach

A winner never quits, and a quitter never wins. - Unknown

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. - Steven Wright

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

Everybody falls, but only winners get back on their feet. - Unknown

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

Winner: a runner who wins in spite of ninety nine excellent runners. - Sujit Lalwani

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

Common sense is just as good a critic of the lottery as any statistical breakdown. - Hunter Baker

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody. - Richard M Nixon

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

Winners lose more than losers. They win and lose more than losers, because they stay in the game. - Terry Paulson

You were born to win. But to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win. - Zig Ziglar

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright