Scratch-Off Parking Tickets

Winners never quit, quitters never win. - Vince Lombardi

Only the winners decide what were war crimes. - Gary Wills

What makes a winner as much as anything: luck. - Red Auerbach

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Everybody falls, but only winners get back on their feet. - Unknown

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

The only thing greater than a good loser is a humble winner. - Unknown

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Winners in life don't always win; they just don't give up. - Unknown

Life is a game show where the people who enjoy it are the winners. - Orson Bean

Winner: a runner who wins in spite of ninety nine excellent runners. - Sujit Lalwani

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

The most distinguishing feature of winners is their intensity of purpose. - Alymer Letterman

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Failures do what is tension relieving, while winners do what is goal achieving. - Dennis Waitley

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success. - Unknown

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody. - Richard M Nixon

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Winners lose more than losers. They win and lose more than losers, because they stay in the game. - Terry Paulson

You were born to win. But to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win. - Zig Ziglar

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers! - Homer Simpson

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright