Scratch-Off Parking Tickets

Scratch a lover, and find a foe. - Dorothy Parker

Winners plan, prepare, and expect to win. - Zig Ziglar

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. - Ogden Nash

What makes a winner as much as anything: luck. - Red Auerbach

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. - Steven Wright

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

The only thing greater than a good loser is a humble winner. - Unknown

Winners are not those who never fail but those who never quit. - Zig Ziglar

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Life is a game show where the people who enjoy it are the winners. - Orson Bean

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success. - Unknown

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody. - Richard M Nixon

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to each new twist of fate. - Donald Trump

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

All are inclined to believe that they covet, from a lottery ticket up to a passport to Paradise. - Lord Byron

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

You were born to win. But to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win. - Zig Ziglar

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

Winners lose much more often than losers. So if you keep losing but you're still trying, keep it up! You're right on track. - Matthew Keith Groves

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright