Scratch-Off Parking Tickets

Putting the fun back in traffic citations



Scratch-Off Parking Tickets

QuotaBills
Winners never quit, quitters never win. - Vince Lombardi

What makes a winner as much as anything: luck. - Red Auerbach

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Winners are not those who never fail but those who never quit. - Zig Ziglar

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

If you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

Winners in life don't always win; they just don't give up. - Unknown

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Winner: a runner who wins in spite of ninety nine excellent runners. - Sujit Lalwani

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Failures do what is tension relieving, while winners do what is goal achieving. - Dennis Waitley

If you don't see yourself as a winner, then you cannot perform as a winner. - Zig Ziglar

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody. - Richard M Nixon

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

You were born to win. But to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win. - Zig Ziglar

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers! - Homer Simpson

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


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23-Jan-2018