Weight Wait

Only fish like scales

Some days it’s hard to get on the scale

Trying to move a baby elephant onto a weight scale

I don’t want to go!

I'm a fat anorexic. - Kiri Te Kanawa

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Laughter is by definition healthy. - Doris Lessing

A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

You can never be too rich or too thin. - Wallis W Simpson

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

Love is, or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have. - Winston Churchill

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Benjamin Franklin

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

A rich rogue is like a fat hog, who never does good 'til as dead as a log. - Benjamin Franklin

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. - Samuel Butler

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

The shovels haven't arrived, and until they do, you'll have to lean on each other. - Unknown

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia. - Jimmy Fallon

see also   Stress  &  Weight  Sections
African Car Wash
Animal Groups
Annoying Tourist
Canada’s Concrete Pink Elephant
Do Not Feed The Animals
Downhill Safari
Elephant Blues
Elephant Breath
Elephant Bus
Elephant Circumcision
Elephant Dung Decorative Paper
Elephant Enema
Elephant Haircut
Elephant Hand
Elephant Heist
Elephant Instructions
Elephant Ludo
Elephant Nest
Elephant Phonics
Elephant Soccer
Elephant Stew
Elephant Sunset
Elephant Trampoline
Elephant’s Long Memory
Herd Mentality
Hide & Seek
How Many Elephant Legs?
Identity Theft
Kermit Frog Loan
King Of The Jungle
Let ’Er Rip
Looking For Something?
Maybe My Job Is Not So Bad After All
No-Elephant Building
Pooped Out Playground
Potty Training An Elephant
Professional Test
River Crossing
Santa Elephant
Serengeti Tug of War
Stretch Elephants
This Is My Road
Touching Elephant Story
Trunk Sleeper
Viagra Elephant
When You Cross an Elephant with a Rhinoceros
World Cup Elephant
Zebra Keyboard

A Balanced Diet
Balanced Diet
Balanced Food Delivery
Balanced Meal
Beauty Bag
Bus Wait Weight
Coffee Spoon
Diet Fork
Diet Hard
Diet Pills
Diet Silverware
Diet Spoon
Diet Utensils
Donut Sale
Gin & Tonic Diet
Important Health Information
Jogger’s Weight Scale
Learn To Cook
Milkshake Diet
My New Diet
Obesity Is OK
Reasons to Stop Dieting
Squeegee Clothing
Texas Diet
Vodka Diet
Weight Watchers Bus


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