Tearable Puns  (pdf)

Quite possibly the worst of the wurst



The worst of the wurst puns



Word play is an art form. A pun is its own reword!

QuotaBills
Coincidences are spiritual puns. - G K Chesterton

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I am disappointment in you're grammar. - Unknown

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Sir Francis Bacon

Good sayings are like pearls strung together. - Chinese Proverb

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

My puns are not trivial. They are quadrivial. - James Joyce

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart

Retire? I can't spell the word. I'd play in a wheelchair. - Keith Richards

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

Of puns it has been said that they who most dislike them are least able to utter them. - Edgar Allan Poe

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


see also   Pun-e  Section
Animal Puns
Christmas Music Composer Puns
Christmas Puns
‘First’ Class Puns
Humourous Puns
Pun-Dumb-Oh-nium
Puns Intended
Puntastic
Wurst Wi-Fi

 

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28-Jun-2017