Tearable Puns  (pdf)

Quite possibly the worst of the wurst



The worst of the wurst puns



Word play is an art form. A pun is its own reword!

QuotaBills
Coincidences are spiritual puns. - G K Chesterton

Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

Puns are a form of humor with words. - Guillermo C. Infante

What's another word for thesaurus? - Steven Wright

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

I am disappointment in you're grammar. - Unknown

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Sir Francis Bacon

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

My puns are not trivial. They are quadrivial. - James Joyce

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

May my last breath be drawn through a pipe and exhaled in a pun. - Charles Lamb

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself. - Doug Larson

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand

Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

He respects Owl, because you can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right. - A. A. Milne

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


see also   Pun-e  Section
Animal Puns
Christmas Music Composer Puns
Christmas Puns
‘First’ Class Puns
Humourous Puns
Pun-Dumb-Oh-nium
Puns Intended
Puntastic
Wurst Wi-Fi

 

Binders Full of Women

Uplifting Throne

Buddhist Tempull

Emu Order

What Bird?

Backwards Even In A Mirror

Read My Lipstick

Birth Control At Its Finest

Dog Soother

X-Factor Sudoku Puzzles A

Solemate

Soccer Ball Building

Redneck Foosball

Her Majesty's Service

Hand Art

Iron Deposit

Too Soon

Government Cutbacks

Abby's Wild Eyes

Redneck Gas Cap
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23-Aug-2017