Tearable Puns  (pdf)

Quite possibly the worst of the wurst

The worst of the wurst puns

Word play is an art form. A pun is its own reword!

A pun is the lowest form of wit. - John Dennis

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Sir Francis Bacon

Good sayings are like pearls strung together. - Chinese Proverb

My puns are not trivial. They are quadrivial. - James Joyce

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

Synonym Bun: What a thesaurus eats for breakfast - Unknown

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. - Mark Twain

Retire? I can't spell the word. I'd play in a wheelchair. - Keith Richards

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

see also   Pun-e  Section
Animal Puns
Christmas Music Composer Puns
Christmas Puns
‘First’ Class Puns
Humourous Puns
Puns Intended
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