Legal Exhibit

Legalese 101 for every lawyer

How to avoid an expensive, protractive court battle

Legal Exhibit

Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial

When you are required to exhibit strength, it comes. - Joseph Campbell

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

Even when laws have been written down, they ought not always to remain unaltered. - Aristotle

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. - Homer Simpson

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

The most savage controversies are about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way. - Bertrand Russell

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin. - Charles Darwin

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

One does not, by knowing all the physical laws as we know them today, immediately obtain an understanding of anything much. - Richard Feynman

The mathematical sciences particularly exhibit order, symmetry, and limitation; and these are the greatest forms of the beautiful. - Aristotle

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

Justice, sir, is the great interest of man on earth. It is the ligament which holds civilized beings and civilized nations together. - Daniel Webster

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

While there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free. - Eugene V Debs

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France

see also   Lawyer  Section
An Old Man’s Dying Request
Ancient Greek Law
Atheist Holiday
Attending To Business
Babcock Divorce
Clever Lawyer
Crazy Laws
Difference Between a Convict and a Lawyer
Distasteful Lawyer
Divorce Defined
Do Not Read Law
Generous Judge’s Divorce Settlement
Generous Lawyer
Good Lawyer
Honest Lawyer
Hot Coffee
Is This Legal?
Joyous Lawyers
Justice Is Blind
Laws Of Golf
Lawyer Expands Practice
Lawyer Priorities
Legal Grounds
Legal Assistance For All
Negotiating Lawyers
Negotiations Texas Style
Nepal Lawyer
On The Loose
Polish Divorce
Texas Three-Kick Rule


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