Cataract Surgery Lawsuit

Susan Sues after an eye-opening Down Under operation



A West Australian newspaper recently reported that a woman, Mrs. Susan Maynard, has sued a Perth Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied, “Mr. Maynard was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight.”

Australian Cataract Surgery for Mrs. Maynard

QuotaBills
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant


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19-Sep-2019