Cataract Surgery Lawsuit

Susan Sues after an eye-opening Down Under operation



A West Australian newspaper recently reported that a woman,
Mrs. Susan Maynard, has sued a Perth Hospital, saying that
after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied, “Mr. Maynard was admitted for
cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight.”

Australian Cataract Surgery for Mrs. Maynard

QuotaBills
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial

A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne


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24-Sep-2017