Cataract Surgery Lawsuit

Susan Sues after an eye-opening Down Under operation



A West Australian newspaper recently reported that a woman, Mrs. Susan Maynard, has sued a Perth Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied, “Mr. Maynard was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight.”

Australian Cataract Surgery for Mrs. Maynard

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The law is silent during war. - Cicero

Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant


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23-Jul-2019