Cataract Surgery Lawsuit

Susan Sues after an eye-opening Down Under operation



A West Australian newspaper recently reported that a woman, Mrs. Susan Maynard, has sued a Perth Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied, “Mr. Maynard was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight.”

Australian Cataract Surgery for Mrs. Maynard

QuotaBills
The law is silent during war. - Cicero

Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial

A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot


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18-Jan-2019