Cataract Surgery Lawsuit

Susan Sues after an eye-opening Down Under operation



A West Australian newspaper recently reported that a woman, Mrs. Susan Maynard, has sued a Perth Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied, “Mr. Maynard was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight.”

Australian Cataract Surgery for Mrs. Maynard

QuotaBills
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne


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15-Dec-2017