Chinese to English Translation

Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear


At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said, “Sex sex sex wan free sex for tonight.”

I replied, “Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!”

A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “What she really said was: 666136429.”



QuotaBills
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. - Groucho Marx

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. - Martin Fraquhar Tupper

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. - W Somerset Maugham

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

I look like I'm Chinese or Thai or Japanese - very different. - Mary Kom

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

I liked being a teenager, but I would not go back for all the tea in China. - Rob Lowe

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

Grammar: the difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You're Nuts. - Unknown

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


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18-Oct-2019