Chinese to English Translation

Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear


At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said, “Sex sex sex wan free sex for tonight.”

I replied, “Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!”

A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “What she really said was: 666136429.”



QuotaBills
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. - Groucho Marx

Speech is the small change of silence. - George Meredith

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

One must be a wise reader to quote wisely and well. - Amos Bronson Alcott

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States. - Donald Trump

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger, and the other represents opportunity. - John F Kennedy

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


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23-Feb-2019