Chinese to English Translation

Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear


At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said, “Sex sex sex wan free sex for tonight.”

I replied, “Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!”

A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “What she really said was: 666136429.”



QuotaBills
A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

I often quote myself, it adds spice to my conversation. - George Bernard Shaw

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

I can remember a reporter asking me for a quote, and I didn't know what a quote was. I thought it was some kind of a soft drink. - Joe DiMaggio

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


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10-Dec-2018