Chinese to English Translation

Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear


At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said, “Sex sex sex wan free sex for tonight.”

I replied, “Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!”

A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “What she really said was: 666136429.”



QuotaBills
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. - Groucho Marx

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

One must be a wise reader to quote wisely and well. - Amos Bronson Alcott

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

I often quote myself, it adds spice to my conversation. - George Bernard Shaw

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States. - Donald Trump

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton


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18-Oct-2017