Chinese to English Translation

Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear


At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said, “Sex sex sex wan free sex for tonight.”

I replied, “Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!”

A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “What she really said was: 666136429.”



QuotaBills
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Sir Francis Bacon

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

I will not down to posterity talking bad grammar. - Benjamin Disraeli

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

I often quote myself, it adds spice to my conversation. - George Bernard Shaw

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

I look like I'm Chinese or Thai or Japanese - very different. - Mary Kom

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

I can remember a reporter asking me for a quote, and I didn't know what a quote was. I thought it was some kind of a soft drink. - Joe DiMaggio

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers


see also   Language,  Nationality  &  Relationship  Sections
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!
No Fee Chinese Detective

 

Texas 4 Months Apart

Ella Vader

Well Trained Pencil

Extreme Pressure Cooker

Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Russian BiteLifter

Flower Lips

Old Traffic Jam

Sudoku Sampler B

Cold Corners

Leaning Straight

Burqa Ban

Steak Sale

Same Mistake Twice

Redneck Flu Shot

Coveted Car

A Balanced Diet

Rainbow Road

Equal Rights Church

British League of Pessimists
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

11-Dec-2017