Chinese to English Translation

Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear


At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said, “Sex sex sex wan free sex for tonight.”

I replied, “Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!”

A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “What she really said was: 666136429.”



QuotaBills
Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Sir Francis Bacon

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

One must be a wise reader to quote wisely and well. - Amos Bronson Alcott

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

I often quote myself, it adds spice to my conversation. - George Bernard Shaw

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

Grammar: the difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You're Nuts. - Unknown

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States. - Donald Trump

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. - Donald Trump

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden


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22-Aug-2017