Chinese to English Translation

Sometimes you just hear what you want to hear


At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.

She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said, “Sex sex sex wan free sex for tonight.”

I replied, “Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!”

A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said, “What she really said was: 666136429.”



QuotaBills
Speech is the small change of silence. - George Meredith

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

I am disappointment in you're grammar. - Unknown

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Sir Francis Bacon

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

I will not down to posterity talking bad grammar. - Benjamin Disraeli

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

I often quote myself, it adds spice to my conversation. - George Bernard Shaw

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger, and the other represents opportunity. - John F Kennedy

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


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29-Jun-2017