joe-ks.com

Ostrich Genie
Genie-ous attempt to live forever

A man walks into a bar with an ostrich behind him. The bartender asks for his order, and the man says, “I’ll have a beer,” and turns to the ostrich. “What’s yours?”
“I’ll have a beer, too,” says the ostrich.
The bartender pours the beer and says, “That will be $3.40 please,” and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and both order a beer. Once again, the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes a routine until, late one evening, the two enter again and the bartender asks, “The usual?”
“Well, it’s close to last call, so I’ll have a large scotch,” says the man.
“Same for me,” says the ostrich.
“That will be $7.20,” says the bartender.
Once again, the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar. The bartender can’t hold back his curiosity any longer.
“Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?”

“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic, and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money will always be there.”

“That’s brilliant!” says the bartender. “Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”

“That’s right! Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.

The bartender asks, “One other thing, sir; what’s with the ostrich?”

The man replies, “My second wish was for a chick with long legs.”




see also   Genie  &  Ostrich   Sections
40th Wedding Anniversary
Blonde Men
Bottomless Mug
Cinderella Joe-kette
Cowboy’s Gift From Revenue Canada
Emu Order
Fertile Land
Grant Me One Wish

Hitler at Family Game Night
Nahtzee
Little Johnny loved stare contests with the dog
I Can Still Kiss You
Adding special ingredients to the menu
Church Dinner
Doubles as a fishing boat with fins on the water
59 Chev Boat
Carrier pigeons that were faster than speeding bullets
Urgent World War I Message
Costa Concordia ship disguise to enter Canadian waters
An Iceberg Floated Into Town
The hazards of vertical electronic traffic lights
Walk Sign Timing
It's all in the hands...
Family Hands
Designer bed toppings for kids
Chocolate Bed
Walking into a feeding frenzy in the house
Crocodile Floor
Looks like the neighborhood is safe
Texas 911
Digital sign spells end of analog pedestrian
Walk Sign Ending

Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

27-May-2012

QR Code

G'Oldies

Aussie Definition of 'L ...
Brick Load
Birthday Cards for 2004
Holiday Bike
Lighthouse Safety
Beethoven’s Favourite ...
Redneck Bird Dogs
Backwards Country Song
Redneck Car Repair
Redneck Beer Opener
Good Son
Watered Down Illusion
Tongue TwistHer
Baby Illusion
Driveway With A View
Enough Snow?
Ireland Declares War On ...
Laughing Owl
Cycle Feeding Your Cows
Redneck House Cleaning
Mexican Sunscreen
Moving Dot Illusion
New Procedure for Unwri ...
Airless See-Through Tir ...
Surf-In Lunch Snack
Freight Train Graffiti
Korean Public Toilet
Breadlace
Toilet Art
Road Hugging Tire
eBay Bid
Old Gas Station - the L ...
Cow Jacket
Hockey Rivalry: Vancouv ...
Handicap Porch
Hawg'n The Road
Redneck's Computer Mail ...
Japanese Deck Torpedoes
Guess the Beer!
Shopping Cart Chair
'Say Cheese' One Last T ...
Harley House