joe-ks.com

How Not To Attract Beach Babes
Lifeguard tips on attracting the opposite sex

Bubba, alone on the beach, just couldn’t make it with any of the girls, so he heads over to the lifeguard tower to see if the lifeguard has any advice for him.

“Dude, it’s obvious,” says the lifeguard, “you’re wearing them baggy old swimming trunks that make you look like an old geezer. They’re years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Spandex Speedos - about two sizes too small - and drop a fist-sized potato down inside ’em. I’m tellin’ you man... you’ll have all the babes you want!”

The following weekend, Bubba hits the beach with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato and it’s worse than before. Everybody on the beach acts disgusted as he walks by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking sick!

So Bubba goes back to the lifeguard again and asks him, “What’s wrong now?”

“Grab a brain, man!” says the lifeguard, “The potato goes in front!”


see also   Redneck  &  Relationship  Sections
Redneck Beach Bomb

Hitler at Family Game Night
Nahtzee
Little Johnny loved stare contests with the dog
I Can Still Kiss You
Adding special ingredients to the menu
Church Dinner
Doubles as a fishing boat with fins on the water
59 Chev Boat
Carrier pigeons that were faster than speeding bullets
Urgent World War I Message
Costa Concordia ship disguise to enter Canadian waters
An Iceberg Floated Into Town
The hazards of vertical electronic traffic lights
Walk Sign Timing
It's all in the hands...
Family Hands
Designer bed toppings for kids
Chocolate Bed
Walking into a feeding frenzy in the house
Crocodile Floor
Looks like the neighborhood is safe
Texas 911
Digital sign spells end of analog pedestrian
Walk Sign Ending
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

27-May-2012

G'Oldies

Road Painter
Fox Hunt - Head Hunter ...
Kid Kars
“It’s Safe To Come ...
'Beer On Tap' Bike
Redneck Letter - from M ...
Swim-In
Benchquet
Cookie Overdose
Returning the Stinky Ho ...
Tourist Route
Sitting on the Hot Seat
Saskatchewan Chopper La ...
Dual Fork Lift
Deerlusion
Snowman Funeral
Redneck Pencil Holder
Cop Chase
British Gas Meter
RU NEXT?
Generous Lawyer
Long-Legged Couch Dog
Digging One's Own Grave
Water Walkers - Part II
Owlympics Ice Skating
Gnu Weather Forecasting
Mexico Electric
Redneck Nativity Scene
Lehman Brothers Protest
The Resurrection
Don't Forget Her Specia ...
Priceless Breakfast Aft ...
Things That Took Me Ove ...
Skydiving Lawyers
Pen Utensils
Fiddle Duet
Staff Communications
Indian Speak
Hillbilly Gas Chamber
Armpit Inspectors
Redneck Pool Table
Plane Window
Bobbie Tickle
Dashing Name
Redneck Recycling
Lost Unfriendly Cat
Cowboy’s Gift From Re ...
Chocolate Math for 2012
Flight Downer
Close Call Parking
Going Around In Circles
Invisible Homeless Man
2012 Stanley Cup Survey
Dental Plan - Latest Ex ...
Hanging Load
Carden Garden