6th Grade Misspelling
[The
following were answers provided by 6th graders during history tests. Some of the best
humour is in the misspelling…]
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in
the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live
elsewhere.
2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is
bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten
commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history.
The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed
him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a
dramatic decline.
6. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March
murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out:
"Tee hee, Brutus."
7. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.
8. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When
she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."
9. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type
and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter
Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking.
10. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.
11. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the
year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because
of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.
Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by
Juliet.
12. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote.
The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and
he wrote Paradise Regained.
13. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson,
a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence.
Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, "A horse
divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
14. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy,
and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed
the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865,
Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving
picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane
actor. This ruined Booth's career.
15. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of
children. In between, he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach
died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was
Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.
16. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He
took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in
1827 and later died for this.
17. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People
stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the
steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick
raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits.
Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie
discovered the radio. Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.