Since September 11, 2001, Americans and Canadians have come together as never
before in our generation. We have banded together to overcome tremendous
adversity. We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil, wars overseas,
corporate/government scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock price plunges,
droughts, fires, mad cow disease, SARS, Avian flu, high gasoline prices, and a myriad of economic
and physical disasters both great and small. But now, we must come together once
again to overcome our greatest challenge yet.
Hundreds of Professional Hockey players in our very own nation are going to be
locked out, living at well below the seven-figure salary level. And as if that
weren’t bad enough, they could be deprived of their life-giving pay for several
months - possibly longer - as a result of the upcoming lockout situation. But you
can help!
For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that’s less than the cost of a
large screen projection TV) you can help an NHL player remain economically
viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem
as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it’s a start, and every
little bit will help!
Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a hockey player it
could mean the difference between spending the lockout golfing in Florida or on
a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing more than a
month’s rent, half a mortgage payment, or a month of medical insurance, but to a
hockey player, $700 will partially replace his daily salary.
Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that home
entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a
weekend in Rio.
HOW WILL I KNOW I’M HELPING?
Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you
sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate, and
other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon signing up for
this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the player lounging during
the lockout on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean (for a signed photo, please
include an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of
other peoples’ suffering.
HOW WILL HE KNOW I’M HELPING?
Your NHL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help
in a time of need. Although the player won’t know your name, he will be able to
make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case additional funds
are needed for unforeseen expenses.
YES, I WANT TO HELP!
I would like to sponsor a locked out NHL player. My preference is (check below):
[ ] Forward [ ] Defenseman [ ] Goaltender [ ] Entire team (Please call our 900
number to ask for the cost of a specific team - $10
per minute)
[ ] Jaromir Jagr (Higher cost: $32,000 per day)
Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the duration of the
lockout. Please send me a picture of the player I
have sponsored, along with an Jaromir Jagr 2001 Income Statement and my very own
Bob Goodenow (Executive Director of the NHLPA player’s Union) pin to wear
proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).
Your Name: ___________
Telephone Number: ___________
Account Number: _______
Expiry Date:_______
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other
Signature: _______________________
Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):
Account Number: _______
Expiry Date:_______
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other
Signature: _______________________
see also
Finance, Hockey & Stress Sections
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