Newfie Riding Lawn Mower

Looking After Your Wife:  Special Treat for Her on Mother’s Day

Buying only the best to help the wife cut the lawn

Newfies know how to cut their grass with hi-tech tools



Last Saturday afternoon, I was sitting on my deck, drinking beer
and watching my wife mow the lawn. Doris from next door was so
upset at this that she came over and shouted, “You lazy
*&!#$%^&@! Sitting there drinking beer while your poor wife
pushes that ancient lawn mower around! Get up off your
backside and give her a break!”

I thought “Goodness! Women!” and I took a swig from my bottle
of beer, wiped the cold foam from my lips and stared directly at
this nosey neighbour and told her in no uncertain terms,
“Bugger off and mind your own business. My wife has
green fingers, and she really enjoys gardening.”

After a few days I felt really bad, so I went out and bought her
a ride-on mower to show my sensitive side. I am so proud of the
deal I got. I am also proud that my wife can now sit down
while mowing the lawn.

Yes guys, after all, we should take good care of our wives.
That way maybe they will take good care of us.

Riding Lawn Mower

I know - I’m too soft with her.
She’ll probably want gears on it next!


QuotaBills
Mother is a verb, not a noun. - Shonda Rhimes

Ignorance is the mother of admiration. - George Chapman

Fearlessness is the mother of reinvention. - Arianna Huffington

Necessity is the mother of taking chances. - Mark Twain

Getting caught is the mother of invention. - Robert Byrne

I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested. - Unknown

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. - Spanish Proverb

The phrase working mother is redundant. - Jane Sellman

My grandmother made dying her life's work. - Hugh Leonard

The best part of him ran down his mother's legs. - Jackie Gleason

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

The titular head... that's the mother, ain't it? - Archie Bunker

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. - George Eliot

All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother. - Abraham Lincoln

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's. - Princess Diana

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

I know enough to know that when you're in a pickle... call Mom. - Jennifer Garner

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother. - Unknown

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

I unapologetically and unabashedly am deeply biased toward my mother. - Chelsea Clinton

It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it. - Dorothy

No one else, ever, will think you're great the way your mother does. - Mary Matalin

New mother - they get a sense of waddya call, "the maternals." - Archie Bunker

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. - Mark Twain

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle. - Phyllis Diller

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy Fisher

There's no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one. - Jill Churchill

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. - Marion C. Garretty

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

I want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated... forever in my mother's arms. - Sanober Khan

Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

I not only think we tamper with Mother Nature, I think that Mother Nature wants us to. - Willard Gatlin

The only place you’re sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother. - Bruce Lansky

One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Ray Chenoweth

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

My mother had this amazing attitude in the face of everything, including when she got cancer. - Bill Clinton

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. - Honore De Balzac

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. - Erma Bombeck

Sayin' grace - it's just thankin' Mother Nature, whose 1st name just happens to be Grace. - Archie Bunker

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

They want people like your mother down there because they know they ain't got no pre-conscrewed ideas. - Archie Bunker

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

By embracing your mother wound as your yoga, you transform what has been a hindrance in your life into a teacher of the heart. - Phillip Moffitt

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

Secretary: "It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law." WC Fields: "Yes it is, very hard. It's almost impossible." - WC Fields

How shall a man escape from his ancestors, or draw off from his veins the black drop which he drew from his father’s or mother's life? - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


see also   Mother’s Day,  Newfie  &  Shopping  Sections
A Mother’s Love
A Woman’s Mind
Looking For Your Wife?
Looking Small
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Understanding Women

 

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24-Sep-2017