Newfie Riding Lawn Mower

Looking After Your Wife:  Special Treat for Her on Mother’s Day

Buying only the best to help the wife cut the lawn

Newfies know how to cut their grass with hi-tech tools



Last Saturday afternoon, I was sitting on my deck, drinking beer
and watching my wife mow the lawn. Doris from next door was so
upset at this that she came over and shouted, “You lazy
*&!#$%^&@! Sitting there drinking beer while your poor wife
pushes that ancient lawn mower around! Get up off your
backside and give her a break!”

I thought “Goodness! Women!” and I took a swig from my bottle
of beer, wiped the cold foam from my lips and stared directly at
this nosey neighbour and told her in no uncertain terms,
“Bugger off and mind your own business. My wife has
green fingers, and she really enjoys gardening.”

After a few days I felt really bad, so I went out and bought her
a ride-on mower to show my sensitive side. I am so proud of the
deal I got. I am also proud that my wife can now sit down
while mowing the lawn.

Yes guys, after all, we should take good care of our wives.
That way maybe they will take good care of us.

Riding Lawn Mower

I know - I’m too soft with her.
She’ll probably want gears on it next!


QuotaBills
Mother is a verb, not a noun. - Shonda Rhimes

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Necessity is the mother of attraction. - Luke McKissack

Ignorance is the mother of admiration. - George Chapman

Fearlessness is the mother of reinvention. - Arianna Huffington

Getting caught is the mother of invention. - Robert Byrne

The phrase working mother is redundant. - Jane Sellman

Necessity, who is the mother of our invention. - Plato

My grandmother made dying her life's work. - Hugh Leonard

Me and your mother ain't no duke or duke-ess. - Archie Bunker

The best part of him ran down his mother's legs. - Jackie Gleason

A mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled. - Emily Dickinson

The titular head... that's the mother, ain't it? - Archie Bunker

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation. - Robert A. Heinlein

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. - George Eliot

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

She's descended from a long line her mother listened to. - Gypsy Rose Lee

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

As a prize - a beautiful riding mower with optional ass scratcher! - Unknown

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it. - Dorothy

New mother - they get a sense of waddya call, "the maternals." - Archie Bunker

The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - John Wooden

Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother. - Beverly Jones

The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology. - Ray Romano

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother's Day are the good ones. - Mignon McLaughlin

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

There's no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one. - Jill Churchill

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. - Marion C. Garretty

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

I want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated... forever in my mother's arms. - Sanober Khan

Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

The Iron Curtain may be a thing of the past, but Mother Russia is as mysterious as ever. - Robert Gottlieb

A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt. - Woodrow Wilson

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

My mother had this amazing attitude in the face of everything, including when she got cancer. - Bill Clinton

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. - Honore De Balzac

I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know. - Mitch Albom

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

They want people like your mother down there because they know they ain't got no pre-conscrewed ideas. - Archie Bunker

My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, Just wait. - Judy Tenuta

I am one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother. - Martin Sheen

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

So long as the mother, ignorance, lives, it is not safe for science, the offspring, to divulge the hidden cause of things. - Johannes Kepler

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

My mother was a reader, and she read to us. She read us Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde when I was six and my brother was eight. I never forgot it. - Stephen King

Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark ... to have been loved so deeply ... will give us some protection forever. - J K Rowling

Secretary: "It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law." WC Fields: "Yes it is, very hard. It's almost impossible." - WC Fields

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


see also   Mother’s Day,  Newfie  &  Shopping  Sections
A Mother’s Love
A Woman’s Mind
Looking For Your Wife?
Looking Small
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Understanding Women

 

Redneck's Favorite Bar Stool

Zip Tie Prank

First Aid Responders

3D Latte Art

Horse Photobomb

Warmest Wishes for a Perfect Sunday

Express Checkout

Theft-Free Lunch

Lunch Break

Texas Wine Glass

Soldier Tribute

Peanut Butter Hound

Long Rowboat

Greek Sudoku Puzzles C

Tornado Spout
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

19-Feb-2018