Opinion Scale - Her Special Gift

Finding the perfect gift for her



Three men are sitting at a bar. The first says, “I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 100 in 6 seconds - I bought her a nice Porsche.”

The second guy says, “I bought something which goes from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds - a nice red Ferrari.”

The third one says, “I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 200 IN JUST 2 SECONDS!”

Wife's special gift - it goes from 0 to 200 in just 2 seconds!

QuotaBills
I'm a fat anorexic. - Kiri Te Kanawa

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift. - Steve Prefontaine

The first great gift we can bestow on others is a good example. - Morell

I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money. - Marlon Brando

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

The key to a healthy lawn is to take care of what happens below ground. - Mike Bechtle

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

When healthy competition prevails - you come out to play and you play to win. - Lorii Myers

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. - Emile Zola

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

The shovels haven't arrived, and until they do, you'll have to lean on each other. - Unknown

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. - Paula Poundstone

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Economies of scale are a good thing. If we didn't have them, we'd still be living in tents and eating buffalo. - Jamie Dimon

The two things that are going to make you a better baker without even trying are a scale and a thermometer in your oven. - Tom Douglas

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. - Bertrand Russell

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

A healthy, if well-concealed, respect for one's own capabilities is essential, but it should never lead to underestimating those of the opponent. - Jack Nicklaus


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29-Jun-2017