Opinion Scale - Her Special Gift

Finding the perfect gift for her



Three men are sitting at a bar. The first says, “I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 100 in 6 seconds - I bought her a nice Porsche.”

The second guy says, “I bought something which goes from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds - a nice red Ferrari.”

The third one says, “I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 200 IN JUST 2 SECONDS!”

Wife's special gift - it goes from 0 to 200 in just 2 seconds!

QuotaBills
I'm a fat anorexic. - Kiri Te Kanawa

Laughter is by definition healthy. - Doris Lessing

What is bought is cheaper than a gift. - Portuguese Proverb

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

Forgiveness is a gift of high value. Yet its cost is nothing. - Betty Smith

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. - Jim Eason

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

The key to a healthy lawn is to take care of what happens below ground. - Mike Bechtle

People with healthy self-esteem do not need to create pretend identities. - Unknown

There is nothing more beautiful in this world than a healthy, wise old man. - Lin Yutang

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60. - Jack Nicholson

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

It is one thing to be gifted and quite another thing to be worthy of one's own gift. - Nadia Boulanger

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it. - Fulton J Sheen

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

The two things that are going to make you a better baker without even trying are a scale and a thermometer in your oven. - Tom Douglas

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. - Bertrand Russell

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

If someone offers you a gift, and you decline to accept it, the other person still owns that gift. The same is true of insults and verbal attacks. - Steve Pavlina

A healthy, if well-concealed, respect for one's own capabilities is essential, but it should never lead to underestimating those of the opponent. - Jack Nicklaus


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25-May-2017