Opinion Scale - Her Special Gift

Finding the perfect gift for her



Three men are sitting at a bar. The first says, “I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 100 in 6 seconds - I bought her a nice Porsche.”

The second guy says, “I bought something which goes from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds - a nice red Ferrari.”

The third one says, “I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 200 IN JUST 2 SECONDS!”

Wife's special gift - it goes from 0 to 200 in just 2 seconds!

QuotaBills
Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

Love is, or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. - Clarence Day

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

Desperation is a fellow shaving before stepping on the scales. - Unknown

The first great gift we can bestow on others is a good example. - Morell

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. - Bruce Barton

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. - Emile Zola

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

Great is the height I must scale, but the prospect of glory gives me strength. - Propertius

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy Fisher

The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value. - Charles Dudley Warner

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present. - Bil Keane

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. - Bertrand Russell

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love. - Leo Buscaglia


see also   Marriage  &  Shopping  Sections
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Cut Weight
Diet Scale
Heat Expands
Moojita Scale
Son’s Cookie Scale
 

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22-Aug-2017