Opinion Scale - Her Special Gift

Finding the perfect gift for her



Three men are sitting at a bar. The first says, “I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 100 in 6 seconds - I bought her a nice Porsche.”

The second guy says, “I bought something which goes from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds - a nice red Ferrari.”

The third one says, “I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 200 IN JUST 2 SECONDS!”

Wife's special gift - it goes from 0 to 200 in just 2 seconds!

QuotaBills
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

You can never be too rich or too thin. - Wallis W Simpson

Conceit is God's gift to little men. - Bruce Barton

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Have a healthy disregard for the impossible. - Larry Page

Every problem has a gift for you in its hands. - Richard Bach

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

Mankind's greatest gift is that we have free choice. - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money. - Marlon Brando

Do not be afraid; our fate Cannot be taken from us; it is a gift. - Dante Alighieri

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

When healthy competition prevails - you come out to play and you play to win. - Lorii Myers

Great is the height I must scale, but the prospect of glory gives me strength. - Propertius

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present. - Bill Keane

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright


see also   Marriage  &  Shopping  Sections
9 Month Scale
Cut Weight
Diet Scale
Heat Expands
Moojita Scale
Son’s Cookie Scale
 

Irish Diplomacy

Flat-Earthers

Christmas Thrones

Salmon Street

Snow Bikes

Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Make It Work

We Witch You a Merry Solstice

Interuption Charge

Paid Off Student Loan

Mega Samurai Puzzles A

Cat Conversion

Sweet Chopper

Gun Exhaust

It's All Mine

Harley Medicine

Hiker Boot Camp

Trumptation

Santa Stop Lights

Small Speed Bumps
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

17-Dec-2017