Three men are sitting at a bar. The first says, “I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 100 in 6 seconds - I bought her a nice Porsche.” The second guy says, “I bought something which goes from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds - a nice red Ferrari.” The third one says, “I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 200 IN JUST 2 SECONDS!” ![]() The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman Every problem has a gift for you in its hands. - Richard Bach We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. - Clarence Day If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. - Bruce Barton Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money. - Marlon Brando Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb 'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles When healthy competition prevails - you come out to play and you play to win. - Lorii Myers Great is the height I must scale, but the prospect of glory gives me strength. - Propertius Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present. - Bil Keane Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it. - Fulton J Sheen I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child New Zealand was one of the most beautiful countries to drive through for the scenery and the vast scale of the place. - Louise Nurding The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the "gotta have it" scale. - Zig Ziglar The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain Maintaining healthy forests is essential to those who make a living from the land and for those of us who use them for recreational purposes. - Cathy M. Rodgers Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia. - Jimmy Fallon see also Marriage & Shopping Sections 9 Month Scale Cut Weight Diet Scale Heat Expands Moojita Scale Son’s Cookie Scale |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
|