joe-ks.com

Soiled Service
When a funeral sermon tanks
Coffin closes drawn out funeral service

As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a graveside service for a homeless man, with no family or friends, who had died while traveling through the area. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost - and being a typical man, I did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late.

I saw the crew, eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open grave, where I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them long but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I poured out my heart and soul. As I preached, the workers began to say, “Amen,” “Praise the Lord,” and “Glory.” I preached, and I preached, like I’d never preached before: from Genesis all the way to Revelations.

I closed the lengthy service with a prayer and walked to my car. I felt I had done my duty for the homeless man and that the crew would leave with a renewed sense of purpose and dedication, in spite of my tardiness.

As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, “I ain’t never seen anything like this before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”


see also   Religious  &  Tombstone  Sections

 

Trout Lake (Easy Street) Hike, Half Moon Bay

Front Yard TV Dinner

Cheetah Surprise

Just Like Grandpa

Vegetarian Wall Mounts

The Wurst Spiral I've Seen

Homesite Creek Falls Hike, Half Moon Bay

What Animals Dream Of

Downer Parking

Diaper Autograph

H1N1 Flu Mask

Chapman Creek Hike, Sechelt

Snow Music

Sudoku Sampler

Young Mechanic

Selma Park Hike, Sechelt

Clean Windows Are Highly Over-rated

The Great Depression

Stop, You're Under A Rest!

Dog Digest
Submissions by Rick BohnenkampFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

25-Mar-2017