Need A Lifeguard?

Walking on water at an Agassiz, B.C. Church

Where miracles occur in the Fraser Valley

Lifeguard that walks on water Church sign

My true religion is Kindness. - Dalai Lama

There is no substitute for the Bible. - Henry Halley

That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker

Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. - Edmund Burke

The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker

The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke

There's no better book with which to defend the Bible than the Bible itself. - Dwight L. Moody

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

To be religious is to have a life that flows with the presence of the extraordinary. - Ann Belford Ulanov

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but live for it. - Charles Caleb Colton

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in Church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. - Fred Allen

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy

see also   Religious,  Scenery  &  Sign  Sections
40 Years In The Desert - The Real Story
All Dogs Go To Heaven
Biblical Humour
Church Humour
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Humour
Church Sign Messages
Church Signs
Devil Sky
Garden of Eat’En
God Darts
God is Impartial
If God Had Texted the 10 Commandments
Judas Asparagus
Leading a Remote Life
Moses As A Lifeguard
Moses’ Computer Skills
Moses’ Headache Relief
Moses’ Headache Relief - the Sequel
Moses’ USB Tablets
Organ Donor
Original Homeland Security - 2nd Amendment
Prayer Conditioning
Prayer Request for Bob
Praying For Their Enemies in Edmonton?
The Stoned Age & Judyism by College Students
Sundae Sermon
Sunday Weather Forecast
Truth Decay
Uplifting Church
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech


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