Need A Lifeguard?

Walking on water at an Agassiz, B.C. Church

Where miracles occur in the Fraser Valley



Lifeguard that walks on water Church sign

QuotaBills
My true religion is Kindness. - Dalai Lama

That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker

Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. - Edmund Burke

The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker

The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke

There is a world of practical religion in simply being considerate of others. - Roger Babson

The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson

In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar

To be religious is to have a life that flows with the presence of the extraordinary. - Ann Belford Ulanov

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but live for it. - Charles Caleb Colton

Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all. - Kahlil Gibran

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

The Muslim world is threatened by religious fanaticism. The Western world is threatened by secular fanaticism. - Dennis Prager

The bulletin board on the lawn of a New Jersey Church reads "We reserve the right to accept everybody." - John Kazmark

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Every sort of energy and endurance, of courage and capacity for handling life's evils, is set free in those who have religious faith. - William James

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy

To say that authority, whether secular or religious, supplies no ground for morality is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction. - Joseph Addison


see also   Religious,  Scenery  &  Sign  Sections
40 Years In The Desert - The Real Story
All Dogs Go To Heaven
Biblical Humour
Church Humour
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Humour
Church Sign Messages
Church Signs
Devil Sky
Garden of Eat’En
God Darts
God is Impartial
If God Had Texted the 10 Commandments
Judas Asparagus
Leading a Remote Life
Moses As A Lifeguard
Moses’ Computer Skills
Moses’ Headache Relief
Moses’ Headache Relief - the Sequel
Moses’ USB Tablets
Organ Donor
Original Homeland Security - 2nd Amendment
Prayer Conditioning
Prayer Request for Bob
Praying For Their Enemies in Edmonton?
The Stoned Age & Judyism by College Students
Sundae Sermon
Sunday Weather Forecast
Truth Decay
Uplifting Church
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

Bobbie Tickle

When The Chips Are Down

Lego Key and Charger Holder

Mice Home

Quad (Hyper) Sudoku

iPhone Sushi

Free Stuff

House Maid For Men

UnBralievable

Highest Human Position In The World

Husband Space

No-Elephant Building

Page Lurker

Lofty Treehouses

Matchstick Racing Car

Newleywed Sock Swallower

Just Jew It

Redneck Tree Hugger

Fly in the Toilet

Seaweed Burger
Submissions by joe-ksterFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

29-May-2017