Redneck NASCAR Astronaut

Flatulent racecar driver approaches takeoff speed



Jet powered scooter rivals NASCAR race - Astronaut Exhaust

QuotaBills
Unsafe at any speed. - Ralph Nader

OK, so what's the speed of dark? - Steven Wright

Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead! - David Farragut

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. - Homer

There is more to life than increasing its speed. - Mahatma Gandhi

Walter Mondale has all the charisma of a speed bump. - Will Durst

Tell the men to fire faster and not give up the ship. - Captain James Lawrence

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy. - Von Clausewitz

I am not a speed reader.
I am a speed understander. - Isaac Asimov

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

The speed of the leader determines the rate of the pack. - Wayne Lukas

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Life is a pure flame, and we live by an invisible sun within us. - Sir Thomas Brown

When you're over the hill, that's when you pick up speed. - Quincy Jones

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Yoga is a light, which once lit, will never dim. The better your practice, the brighter the flame. - B.K. Iyengar

There are only 3 true sports: mountain climbing, bull fighting and auto racing. All the rest are games. - Ernest Hemingway

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

In case of fire, don't panic. Simply flee the building with the same reckless abandon that occurs each day at quitting time. - Don Delcourt

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

A man should not live beyond the age when he begins to deteriorate, when the flame that lighted the brightest moment of his life has weakened. - Fidel Castro

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

Well, yes, I've fired a lot of people. Generally I like other people to fire, because it's always a lousy task. But I have fired many people. - Donald Trump


see also   Bad Gas,  Car,  Redneck  &  Space  Sections
Amish Speed Wagon - NASCAR Debut
India’s New Space Program
Liftup Lunch
Redneck Space Shuttle

 

Redneck Power Windows

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Find The Cat

No You Can't

Did I Say Stop?

Zipperhead

Hot Mexican Deals

Trampolining Competition

Tile House

Redneck Muffler Shop

World's First Wireless Communications System

Wise Moves

Samurai Sudoku Puzzles D

A Dog's Worst Nightmare

Boneless Inverted Pork

Aussie Camp Warning

Polar Bear Photographer

Advertising Truths

Key Frame

Kona Lisa
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

22-Oct-2017