Redneck NASCAR Astronaut

Flatulent racecar driver approaches takeoff speed



Jet powered scooter rivals NASCAR race - Astronaut Exhaust

QuotaBills
Unsafe at any speed. - Ralph Nader

OK, so what's the speed of dark? - Steven Wright

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. - Homer

There is more to life than increasing its speed. - Mahatma Gandhi

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

Walter Mondale has all the charisma of a speed bump. - Will Durst

Tell the men to fire faster and not give up the ship. - Captain James Lawrence

If someone's lying, are their pants really on fire? - Jerry Seinfeld

Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself. - Mark Twain

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Life is a pure flame, and we live by an invisible sun within us. - Sir Thomas Brown

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

When you're over the hill, that's when you pick up speed. - Quincy Jones

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. - Thomas Fuller

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

There's flames, now, and the frame is crashing to the ground... oh, the humanity... - Herbert Robertson

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

There are only 3 true sports: mountain climbing, bull fighting and auto racing. All the rest are games. - Ernest Hemingway

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

You can tell it's good if you light it and a blue flame comes up; that means it's good moonshine and it won't make you go blind. - Johnny Knoxville

Any committee is only as good as the most knowledgeable, determined, and vigorous person on it. There must be somebody who provides the flame. - Lady Bird Johnson

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


see also   Bad Gas,  Car,  Redneck  &  Space  Sections
Amish Speed Wagon - NASCAR Debut
India’s New Space Program
Liftup Lunch
Redneck Space Shuttle

 

Grass Room

Row Your Goat

Moment Just Before Being Soaked... @ T - 1

Bridge Claimed Another One

Woman-Riding Man

Thin Polar Bear

Hand Tool

Rainbow Beer

They Found Your Balls

Giraffe Pet

Hard Working Cop

Cattle Herding in Africa

Dutch Cowboy

How Bachelors Kill Moths

Tonsil Ring

Portrait Gallery

Piano Dog

The Art Of Politics

Martini Shirt

American Mustache
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18-Sep-2019