Redneck NASCAR Astronaut

Flatulent racecar driver approaches takeoff speed



Jet powered scooter rivals NASCAR race - Astronaut Exhaust

QuotaBills
OK, so what's the speed of dark? - Steven Wright

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. - Homer

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy. - Von Clausewitz

Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself. - Mark Twain

Love is friendship set on fire. Hate is friendship burned. - Jeremy Taylor

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly. - Eskimo Proverb

Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. - Thomas Fuller

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

A great athlete does not come from muscle, speed, and skill, but from the mind first. - Dan E. Welker

There's flames, now, and the frame is crashing to the ground... oh, the humanity... - Herbert Robertson

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

There are only 3 true sports: mountain climbing, bull fighting and auto racing. All the rest are games. - Ernest Hemingway

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love. - William Shakespeare

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. - Steven Wright

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

You can tell it's good if you light it and a blue flame comes up; that means it's good moonshine and it won't make you go blind. - Johnny Knoxville

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

Any committee is only as good as the most knowledgeable, determined, and vigorous person on it. There must be somebody who provides the flame. - Lady Bird Johnson

A man should not live beyond the age when he begins to deteriorate, when the flame that lighted the brightest moment of his life has weakened. - Fidel Castro

Well, yes, I've fired a lot of people. Generally I like other people to fire, because it's always a lousy task. But I have fired many people. - Donald Trump


see also   Bad Gas,  Car,  Redneck  &  Space  Sections
Amish Speed Wagon - NASCAR Debut
India’s New Space Program
Liftup Lunch
Redneck Space Shuttle

 

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24-May-2019