Wife Consumption

How to read your Electric Meter





Reducing the high cost of electricity
Create your own high performance Energy Meter

QuotaBills
Take my wife - please! - Henny Youngman

My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

Who has a bad wife, his hell begins on earth. - Dutch Proverb

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. - Unknown

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. - John Barrymore

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers


see also   Finance,  Marriage  &  Relationship  Sections
Box Fill Overload
Brain Lamp
Cheap Electric Car?
Compact Fluorescent Chandelier
Electrical Box Extension
electricAL safety
ElectriCandle
Electric Unicycle
Electrician’s New Plug
Energy Saver
Extension Cord Lamp
Eyelights
How Sunset Is Made
Head Loose Socket
How To Fix Electrical Poles
Lamp Escape
Light Coil
Mexico Electric
Newfie Light Fixture
Outlet Wall
PacMan Lights
Power Line Road
Redneck Chandelier
Redneck Electric Pool

 

Segway Stroller

Wine Worms

Bear Surveillance

Move Over

Guard Roos

Rich Man's Hobby

Illusive Dice

Rainbow Eucalyptus Trees

Passing The Buck

CradleHood

Save Yourself

Days Of The Week Socks

Hairy Potter

Cholla Claws

Missed Shots

In Step Horse

Canucks 2007 Team Photo

Digideroo Joe

Doctors' Strike

Electric Unicycle
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

25-May-2018