Afterlife Life

Fear that there is no heaven


A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. The biggest fear was that there was no heaven.

After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact.

“Mary... Mary....”

“Is that you, Fred?”

“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”

“What’s it like?”

“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, I have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again.”

“Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven.”

“Not exactly. I’m a rabbit in Kansas.”




QuotaBills
A star on earth - a star in heaven. - Karen Carpenter

A root is a flower that disdains fame. - Kahlil Gibran

Noble discontent is the path to heaven. - Thomas Higginson

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven. - John Milton

The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth - Lao-tzu

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. - Mark Twain

Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads. - Henry David Thoreau

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one. - Russian Proverb

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt. - Groucho Marx

Love is something sent from heaven to worry the hell out of you. - Dolly Parton

Extremists think 'communication' means agreeing with them. - Leo Rosten

A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for? - Robert Browning

In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown

They say marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. - Clint Eastwood

Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive, but to be young was very heaven! - William Wordsworth

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. - Peter F Drucker

Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither. - C S Lewis

John Wooden was a hall of fame character long before he was a hall of fame coach. - John C Maxwell

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant. - George Burns

I don't believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear. - Woody Allen

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humour is Canadian. But I can't vote. - Donald Sutherland

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. - R.E. Shay

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. - Mark Twain

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. - Woody Allen

I spend a lot of time thinking of the Hereafter - each time I enter a room I wonder what I'm here after. - Tim Conway

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

Relationships are about give and take; not tit-for-tat. If you're keeping score, you'll lose at your own game. - Faydra D. Fields

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your business is no different. - Harvey Mackay

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image. - David Bowie

The other day I dreamed that I was at the gates of heaven.
And Saint Peter said, "Go back to Earth. There are no slums up here." - Mother Teresa


see also   Aging, History  &  Trivia  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before The Impact
Emotion Stew
Everything Men Know About Women
Hormone Guide
Keyboard Wedding
Men To The Left
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Obedient Wife
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Walker Buddies
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
What Did You Just Say?
Winning An Argument With A Woman
World Peas

 

PEI Weather

Math Lab Bust

Political Floor

Redneck Winter Tires

Fish Fingers

Costco Beach Towel

Handwritting

Down Under Statue

Random Acts Of Kindness (RAK) Day

Detroit Discovery

Spit Priorities

Enjoy The View

Locks Of Love

So You Want A Day Off

Save A Tree

Dr. Hedgehog

Flower Frame Heels

I'll Be Right There

Frankfurt Subway Entrance

Winter Deflation
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

17-Feb-2019