Afterlife Life

Fear that there is no heaven


A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. The biggest fear was that there was no heaven.

After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact.

“Mary... Mary....”

“Is that you, Fred?”

“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”

“What’s it like?”

“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, I have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again.”

“Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven.”

“Not exactly. I’m a rabbit in Kansas.”




QuotaBills
Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker

Fame is the perfume of heroic deeds. - Socrates

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Noble discontent is the path to heaven. - Thomas Higginson

Sex is the biggest nothing of all time. - Andy Warhol

To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven. - Karen Sunde

Seek not outside yourself, heaven is within. - Mary Lou Cook

Heaven never helps the man who will not act. - Sophocles

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

Heaven is home. Utopia is here. Nirvana is now. - Edward Abbey

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn. - Garrison Keillor

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

Every charitable act is a stepping stone toward heaven. - Henry Ward Beecher

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. - Joe Louis

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

If in the afterlife there is not music, we will have to import it. - Domenico Cieri Estrada

Fame usually comes to those who are thinking about something else. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield

O all you host of heaven! O earth! What else? And shall I couple Hell? - William Shakespeare

Has anyone noticed that in heaven all the interesting men are missing? - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. - Peter F Drucker

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

May you be in Heaven a full half hour before the Devil knows you're dead. - Irish Toast

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. - Mark Twain

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither. - C S Lewis

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant. - George Burns

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. - Woody Allen

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. - Joan Baez

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

I spend a lot of time thinking of the Hereafter - each time I enter a room I wonder what I'm here after. - Tim Conway

I've never sought success in order to get fame and money; it's the talent and the passion that count in success. - Ingrid Bergman

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg


see also   Aging, History  &  Trivia  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before The Impact
Emotion Stew
Everything Men Know About Women
Hormone Guide
Keyboard Wedding
Men To The Left
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Obedient Wife
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Walker Buddies
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
What Did You Just Say?
Winning An Argument With A Woman
World Peas

 

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23-Jun-2018