Afterlife Life

Fear that there is no heaven


A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. The biggest fear was that there was no heaven.

After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact.

“Mary... Mary....”

“Is that you, Fred?”

“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”

“What’s it like?”

“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, I have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again.”

“Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven.”

“Not exactly. I’m a rabbit in Kansas.”




QuotaBills
Fame is the thirst of youth. - Lord Byron

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Noble discontent is the path to heaven. - Thomas Higginson

Every man must get to heaven his own way. - Frederick the Great

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn. - Garrison Keillor

The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth - Lao-tzu

In heaven all the interesting people are missing. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind. - Nora Ephron

Every charitable act is a stepping stone toward heaven. - Henry Ward Beecher

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

Love is something sent from heaven to worry the hell out of you. - Dolly Parton

Every man is as Heaven made him, and sometimes a great deal worse. - Miguel de Cervantes

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all. - Rodney Dangerfield

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

O all you host of heaven! O earth! What else? And shall I couple Hell? - William Shakespeare

They say marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. - Clint Eastwood

Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away. - Phyllis Diller

The woman who can create her own job is the one who will win fame and fortune. - Amelia Earhart

Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

"The Sex Lives of A-Borgnines" - is that the actor with all the wives? - Archie Bunker

I don't believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear. - Woody Allen

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. - Woody Allen

I'm going to smile, and my smile will sink down into your pupils, and heaven knows what it will become. - Jean-Paul Sartre

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image. - David Bowie

We are in the world to laugh. In purgatory or in hell we shall no longer be able to do so. And in heaven it would not be proper. - Jules Renard

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose


see also   Aging, History  &  Trivia  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before The Impact
Emotion Stew
Everything Men Know About Women
Hormone Guide
Keyboard Wedding
Men To The Left
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Obedient Wife
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Walker Buddies
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
What Did You Just Say?
Winning An Argument With A Woman
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11-Dec-2018