Afterlife Life

Fear that there is no heaven


A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. The biggest fear was that there was no heaven.

After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact.

“Mary... Mary....”

“Is that you, Fred?”

“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”

“What’s it like?”

“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, I have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again.”

“Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven.”

“Not exactly. I’m a rabbit in Kansas.”




QuotaBills
Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker

Noble discontent is the path to heaven. - Thomas Higginson

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

Heaven never helps the man who will not act. - Sophocles

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven. - John Milton

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. - Mark Twain

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

If there's no chocolate in Heaven, I'm not going. - Jane Seabrook

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. - Joe Louis

If in the afterlife there is not music, we will have to import it. - Domenico Cieri Estrada

Extremists think 'communication' means agreeing with them. - Leo Rosten

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for? - Robert Browning

In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown

Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive, but to be young was very heaven! - William Wordsworth

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown

Nothing arouses ambition so much as the trumpet clang of another's fame. - Baltasar Gracian

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. - Mark Twain

Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey

Music, the greatest good that mortals know and all of heaven we have hear below. - Joseph Addison

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither. - C S Lewis

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

I don't believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear. - Woody Allen

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. - Michael Sinz

The true object of all human life is play. Earth is a task garden; heaven is a playground. - G K Chesterton

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. - Woody Allen

I spend a lot of time thinking of the Hereafter - each time I enter a room I wonder what I'm here after. - Tim Conway

Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it, and Hell where they already have it. - Ronald Reagan

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 5:14-16

Relationships are about give and take; not tit-for-tat. If you're keeping score, you'll lose at your own game. - Faydra D. Fields


see also   Aging, History  &  Trivia  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before The Impact
Emotion Stew
Everything Men Know About Women
Hormone Guide
Keyboard Wedding
Men To The Left
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Obedient Wife
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Walker Buddies
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
What Did You Just Say?
Winning An Argument With A Woman
World Peas

 

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Egg Hatch Breakfast

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Happy Easter, Big Guy
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21-Apr-2019