Afterlife Life

Fear that there is no heaven


A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. The biggest fear was that there was no heaven.

After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact.

“Mary... Mary....”

“Is that you, Fred?”

“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”

“What’s it like?”

“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, I have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again.”

“Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven.”

“Not exactly. I’m a rabbit in Kansas.”




QuotaBills
Intricate facts of sex - Archie Bunker

Fame is the thirst of youth. - Lord Byron

A star on earth - a star in heaven. - Karen Carpenter

Fame is the perfume of heroic deeds. - Socrates

Noble discontent is the path to heaven. - Thomas Higginson

In heaven an angel is nobody in particular. - George Bernard Shaw

Heaven is home. Utopia is here. Nirvana is now. - Edward Abbey

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn. - Garrison Keillor

In heaven all the interesting people are missing. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads. - Henry David Thoreau

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten

If you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. - Woody Allen

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt. - Groucho Marx

Love is something sent from heaven to worry the hell out of you. - Dolly Parton

Fame usually comes to those who are thinking about something else. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Every man is as Heaven made him, and sometimes a great deal worse. - Miguel de Cervantes

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Has anyone noticed that in heaven all the interesting men are missing? - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. - Peter F Drucker

They can keep their heaven. When I die, I'd sooner go to Middle Earth. - George R.R. Martin

Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither. - C S Lewis

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant. - George Burns

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? - Bette Midler

No matter how much fame and fortune you achieve, don't get wrapped up in yourself. - Dal Richards

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. - Mark Twain

That the Pearl Harbor attack should have succeeded in achieving surprise seems a blessing from heaven. - Hideki Tojo

Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen. - John Steinbeck

I spend a lot of time thinking of the Hereafter - each time I enter a room I wonder what I'm here after. - Tim Conway

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. - George Burns

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 5:14-16

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your business is no different. - Harvey Mackay

The greatest mistake we humans make in our relationships: we listen half, understand quarter, think zero, and react double. - Unknown


see also   Aging, History  &  Trivia  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before The Impact
Emotion Stew
Everything Men Know About Women
Hormone Guide
Keyboard Wedding
Men To The Left
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Obedient Wife
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Walker Buddies
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
What Did You Just Say?
Winning An Argument With A Woman
World Peas

 

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20-Oct-2019