Afterlife Life

Fear that there is no heaven


A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. The biggest fear was that there was no heaven.

After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact.

“Mary... Mary....”

“Is that you, Fred?”

“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”

“What’s it like?”

“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, I have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again.”

“Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven.”

“Not exactly. I’m a rabbit in Kansas.”




QuotaBills
Intricate facts of sex - Archie Bunker

Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker

Fame is the perfume of heroic deeds. - Socrates

A root is a flower that disdains fame. - Kahlil Gibran

Noble discontent is the path to heaven. - Thomas Higginson

Every man must get to heaven his own way. - Frederick the Great

Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads. - Henry David Thoreau

If you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. - Woody Allen

In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind. - Nora Ephron

If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one. - Russian Proverb

If there's no chocolate in Heaven, I'm not going. - Jane Seabrook

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

Has anyone noticed that in heaven all the interesting men are missing? - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

They say marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. - Clint Eastwood

Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. - Homer Simpson

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. - Peter F Drucker

Nothing arouses ambition so much as the trumpet clang of another's fame. - Baltasar Gracian

The woman who can create her own job is the one who will win fame and fortune. - Amelia Earhart

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. - Mark Twain

"The Sex Lives of A-Borgnines" - is that the actor with all the wives? - Archie Bunker

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither. - C S Lewis

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

All that separates... race, class, creed, or sex, is inhuman, and must be overcome. - Kate Sheppard

The mind is its own place, and it itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven. - John Milton

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? - Bette Midler

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. - Michael Sinz

The true object of all human life is play. Earth is a task garden; heaven is a playground. - G K Chesterton

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. - R.E. Shay

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be thankful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful. - Harvey Mackay

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

I'm going to smile, and my smile will sink down into your pupils, and heaven knows what it will become. - Jean-Paul Sartre

Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it, and Hell where they already have it. - Ronald Reagan

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. - George Burns

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image. - David Bowie

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg


see also   Aging, History  &  Trivia  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before The Impact
Emotion Stew
Everything Men Know About Women
Hormone Guide
Keyboard Wedding
Men To The Left
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Obedient Wife
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Walker Buddies
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
What Did You Just Say?
Winning An Argument With A Woman
World Peas

 

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Here Comes Another One

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23-Feb-2018