Afterlife Life

Fear that there is no heaven


A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. The biggest fear was that there was no heaven.

After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact.

“Mary... Mary....”

“Is that you, Fred?”

“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”

“What’s it like?”

“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, I have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again.”

“Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven.”

“Not exactly. I’m a rabbit in Kansas.”




QuotaBills
Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Be brave, little rabbit. Take a chance. - Cherise Sinclair

Sex is the biggest nothing of all time. - Andy Warhol

Every man must get to heaven his own way. - Frederick the Great

Directly after God in heaven comes a Papa. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven. - Karen Sunde

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth - Lao-tzu

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt. - Groucho Marx

Paragorically, I will not let you ever talk about our sex life. - Archie Bunker

Every man is as Heaven made him, and sometimes a great deal worse. - Miguel de Cervantes

Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. - Homer Simpson

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away. - Phyllis Diller

Fame is only good for one thing - they will cash your check in a small town. - Truman Capote

"The Sex Lives of A-Borgnines" - is that the actor with all the wives? - Archie Bunker

Music, the greatest good that mortals know and all of heaven we have hear below. - Joseph Addison

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither. - C S Lewis

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

The mind is its own place, and it itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven. - John Milton

What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? - Bette Midler

No matter how much fame and fortune you achieve, don't get wrapped up in yourself. - Dal Richards

Surfing is the most blissful experience you can have on this planet, a taste of heaven. - John McCarthy

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humour is Canadian. But I can't vote. - Donald Sutherland

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. - R.E. Shay

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. - Woody Allen

Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen. - John Steinbeck

Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it, and Hell where they already have it. - Ronald Reagan

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

I've never sought success in order to get fame and money; it's the talent and the passion that count in success. - Ingrid Bergman

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image. - David Bowie

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown


see also   Aging, History  &  Trivia  Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before The Impact
Emotion Stew
Everything Men Know About Women
Hormone Guide
Keyboard Wedding
Men To The Left
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Obedient Wife
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Walker Buddies
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
What Did You Just Say?
Winning An Argument With A Woman
World Peas

 

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Unless Your Dog Can Do This

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'Break In Motion' Brake

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Speed Limit Warning

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Why Neanderthals Became Extinct

Elephant Hand

Unhappy Baby

Ambulance Caddy

Bacon Sandwich

Microwave Mailbox

Paint Protection

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24-Sep-2018