Some days
you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies.
Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to
read.
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying
down.
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend
their lives.
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people
themselves.
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost
$7.00 in dog money.
It's a dog eat dog world out there, and I'm wearing milk bone underwear.
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to
heaven, and very, very few persons.
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the
idea.
In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that
will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did
it.
Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.
No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
Man is a dog's idea of what God should be.
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the
principal difference between a dog and a man.
