“Female Speak” Translation

Understanding Women 101


Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use “fine” to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it’s an even trade.

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.

Go Ahead (normal eyebrows): This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care”. You will get a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.

Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

Nothing: This means something and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with the word “Fine”.

Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; “Oh, let me get that”. Or, “Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night”. If she says “Oh” before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is “Fine” when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. “Oh” as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows “Go ahead” followed by acts so unspeakable that I can’t bring myself to write about them.

Please Do: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.

Soft Sigh: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you’re welcome.

Thanks A Lot: This is much different than “Thanks”. A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh”, as she will only tell you “Nothing.”

That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead”. At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.



QuotaBills
Well-behaved women never make history. - Maria Shriver

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

Women like silent men. They think they're listening. - Marcel Achard

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. - Steve Martin

Amazing women don't have hot flashes. We have power surges. - Unknown

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her. - Oscar Wilde

As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman thinking. - Virginia Woolf

The three words every woman really longs to hear: I'll clean up. - Molly Shannon

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent. - Erma Bombeck

I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic. - Drew Barrymore

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. - Yves St. Laurent

Women over thirty are at their best, but men over thirty are too old to recognize it. - Jean-Paul Belmondo

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham

And what is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing. - Geoffrey Chaucer

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

A consultant is a man who knows 147 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women. - Unknown

A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is usually plain. - Oscar Wilde

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious. - Oscar Wilde

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Never try to impress a woman because if you do, you'll have to keep up that standard the rest of your life. - WC Fields

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's. - Bernard Shaw

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson


see also   Relationship   Section
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

Together Since

You Never Call

CLUMSY Driver

Water Short

Post Research

Motorcycle Taxi

Columbia Street Party

Fly By Meal

Down Day

Hanging Out With Friends

You Want Me To Do What?

Mirror Lake

Kitchen Thing

Light Road

Coffee Spoon

Show Stopper

Water Judge

Litter of DalCations

Fitness On The Bus

Deluxe Peanut Butter Jam Sandwich
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

20-Aug-2019