Los Angeles Driver's License Application
Name:
_______________________
Stage name: _______________________
Agent: _______________________
Attorney: _______________________
Sex: ___male ___female ___formerly male ___formerly female ____both
If Female is checked above: Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely
operate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes___ No ___
Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
*If you don't own a cell phone, please explain:_______________________
Please check hair color:
Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead
Please check activities you perform while driving:
Check all that apply)
[ ] Eating
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Talking on the phone
[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[X] Snorting cocaine (already checked for your convenience)
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
Please indicate how many times:
a) You expect to shoot at other drivers _____
b) How many times you expect to be shot at while driving _____
If you are the victim of a car jacking, you should immediately:
a) Call the police to report the crime
b) Call Channel 4 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the news in a high
speed chase
c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for 911 call not
going through
d) Call your therapist
e) None of the above (South Central residents only)
In the event of an earthquake, you should:
a) Stop your car
b) Keep driving and hope for the best
c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones
d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 4
In the instance of rain, you should:
a) Never drive over 5 MPH
b) Drive twice as fast as usual
c) You're not sure what "rain" is
Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week:______
Are you presently taking any of the following medications?:
a) Prozac
b) Zovirax
c) Lithium
d) Zanax
e) Valium
f ) Zoloft
*If none, please explain: __________________.
Length of daily commute:
a) 1 hour
b) 2 hours
c) 3 hours
d) 4 hours or more
When stopped by police, you should:
a) Pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready
b) Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405 Freeway
c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a
hefty lawsuit.
Is there anything else that would prevent you from safely operating a motor vehicle in any
way that has not been covered above?
Yes___ No____
Explain:_________________