Silence Is Golden
A police
officer pulls over a speeding car.
The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control, set at 60, perhaps your
radar needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly from the passenger seat, "Now
don't be silly, dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,
"Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went
off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man
glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth "Darn it, woman, can't you keep
your mouth shut."
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt,
sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you
pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on.
You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and
barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP???"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you
this way, Ma'am?"
"Oh, heavens no, officer. Only when he's been drinking."