Leaning Tower of Pisa (857 years old) is no longer leaning.

85 year study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lb.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

Baby conceived naturally... Scientists stumped.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

Castro finally dies at age 104; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Florida voters still don't know how to use a voting Machine.

France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon).

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.