Secret For A Long, Happy Life

Learning to deal with stress

A passer-by noticed an old lady sitting on her front step.
“I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look! What is your secret
for such a long, happy life?”

“I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day,” she said.
“Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that,
I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food.
On weekends I pop a huge number of pills and do no exercise at all.”

Secret for a long happy life

“This is absolutely amazing at your age!” says the passer-by.
“How old are you?”

“Twenty four.”

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

Life is a series of collisions with the future. - Jose Ortega Y Gasset

Smoking means always having to say you're sorry. - Tom Ferguson

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life. - Sophia Loren

Live your life so that whenever you lose you are ahead. - Will Rogers

Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. - Dennis P. Kimbro

As your runway of life gets shorter, the lighter the load. - Joe Segal

That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet. - Emily Dickinson

The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine. - Mike Murdock

Our life is frittered away by detail ... Simplify, simplify. - Henry David Thoreau

We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give. - Winston Churchill

One's real life is so often the life that one does not lead. - Oscar Wilde

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. - Voltaire

The deepest definition of youth is life as yet untouched by tragedy. - Alfred Whitehead

Middle age begins with the first mortgage and ends when you drop dead. - Herb Caen

Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it. - Tom Lehrer

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Most of life's great moments happen when your phone is in your pocket. - Unknown

If life gives you a bowl of lemons, go find an annoying guy with paper cuts. - Unknown

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating. - Oscar Wilde

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and teaching mathematics. - Simeon Poisson

Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age. - Unknown

Many a secret that cannot be pried out by curiosity can be drawn out by indifference. - Sydney J. Harris

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon. - Woody Allen

It's a culmination of your life of surfing when you turn and paddle in at Mavericks. - Jeff Clark

One should take good care not to grow too wise for so great a pleasure of life as laughter. - Joseph Addison

There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. - Oscar Wilde

By the time I taught myself the bass guitar at the age of 14, my hands were already pretty nimble. - John Entwistle

I can imagine no more comfortable frame of mind for the conduct of life than a humorous resignation. - W Somerset Maugham

Flops are a part of life's menu and I've never been a girl to miss out on any of the courses. - Rosalind Russell

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? - Woody Allen

Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in face of certain defeat. - Ralph Ellison

Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another. - Thomas Merton

You only have to do a very few things right in your life - so long as you don't do too many things wrong. - Warren Buffet

To do the useful thing, to say the courageous thing, to contemplate the beautiful thing: that is enough for one man's life. - T S Eliot

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger

Freedom comes only to those who no longer ask of life that it shall yield them any of those personal goods that are subject to the mutations of time. - Bertrand Russell

Daniel’s Lotion
Fishing Trip With Jack
Throw Your Life Away


Just Blew It

His Dent

Cheat of the Year

Divorce Defined

Paint Ladder


Frozen Pipes in the Garage

Attentive Student

Corgi Snow Height

FishSun - Touching The Sun

SailBite Ride - Swimming Not Advised

Bach To Front

Slamming On Your Brakes

Trampoline Apartment

Radar Replacement

UFO Caught On Tape

Bacon Wrapped Onion Rings

Camouflage Garage

Aisle Cleanup

Spanish Restrooms
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