Dear Tide Detergent people:

I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used Tide since I began housekeeping years ago, after my Mom told me it was the best. Now that I am older, married for 30 years and going through menopause, I find I like it even better!

In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was and like always - he started becoming a pain in the neck.

One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stains out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out. I made a quick trip to the supermarket, stopping to get a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!

In fact, the stains came out so well that the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests were negative. My attorney even said that I would no longer be considered a suspect!

I thank you once again for having such a wonderful product.

Well, gotta go. I also have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people...

Signed,
A Thoroughly Satisfied Menopausal Wife