[As they approached Vancouver number 1 runway, the tower heard...]

PILOT: Bjeesus will ya look how fookin shart dat runway is?

CO-PILOT: Yer nat fookin kiddin, Paddy.

PILOT: Dis is ganna be one a de trickiest landings ever, Shamus!

CO-PILOT: Yer nat fookin kiddin, Paddy!

PILOT: Right, Shamus, when I say 'go' ya put de flaps down!

CO-PILOT: Royt, I'll do dat!

PILOT: An den ya put de engine in reverse!

CO-PILOT: Royt, I'll do dat, too!

PILOT: An den stamp an de brakes as hard as yer can an pray ta de Holy Mudder a Gad!

CO-PILOT: I'm prayin already, but I'll hit de brakes as hard as I can.

So, Shamus puts the flaps down and put the engines in reverse, stamped on the brakes and continued to pray to the Holy Mother with all his soul. The brakes screeched, the tires squealed, and there was smoke everywhere, but, to the relief of all the passengers, and, not least of all, Paddy and Shamus, the aircraft came to stop but a few meters from the end of the runway!

As Paddy and Shamus sat in the cockpit regaining some composure, Paddy looked out of the window and said to Shamus, “Dat has gat ta be de shartist fookin runway in de world!”

Shamus replied, “Yes, but da ya see how fookin wide it is?”