Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness.
Always remember you’re unique... just like everyone else!
An oral contract isn’t worth the paper its written on.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
As far as I’m concerned, treachery will sometimes bring loyalty into question.
Avoid alliteration. Always.
Avoid clichés like the plague (they are old hat).
Be more or less specific.
Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
Contractions aren’t necessary.
Cooperation can only be reached if we work together.
Death to all fanatics!
Don’t be redundant by repeating yourself.
Don’t use more words than necessary – it’s highly superfluous.
Entropy just isn’t what it used to be.
Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
Evil isn’t all bad.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
Free advice is worth what you paid for it.
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Grammar has gots to be one of the most importantest things ever?
He doesn’t have much of a reputation or so I’ve heard.
I always wanted to be a procrastinator!
I am becoming increasingly worried that there isn’t enough anxiety in my life.
I disagree with unanimity.
I have a twin brother. He’s identical, but I’m not.
I have my doubts about disbelief.
I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.
I keep telling myself that I am a pathological liar, but I am not sure if I
If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s intolerance.
If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure.
I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
I’m still not sure if I understand ambiguity.
Life is full of uncertainties... or I could be wrong about that?
My identity lies in not knowing who I am.
On one hand, I’m indecisive; but on the other, I’m not.
One should never generalize.
One-word sentences? Eliminate.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.
Prejudiced people are all alike.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
Reality is a big, nasty, vicious dragon, but I don’t believe in dragons.
Rehab is for quitters!
The shortest distance between two points is how far apart they are.
Some people say that I’m superficial, but that’s just on the surface.
The world’s full of apathy, but I don’t care.
There are only three kinds of people: people who can count and people who can’t.
There’s no such thing as nonexistance.
What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds?
Who needs rhetorical questions?
Phrase & Quote Sections
Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side
Trillion Dollar Man
Eye've Been To The Beach
Found The Apple Maps Car
Husband Frosted Cupcakes
Where I Live
hAir Force One
Sad Truth About The Oscars
Happy Hour Bike Club
Big Boots To Fill
Redneck Rolling Bottle Sprinkler