When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion…
1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
Here comes the important part…
4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most of all…
10) Everyone PRAISES the man and THANKS him for his cooking efforts.
11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “her night off.” And, upon seeing her
annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women!
But men are men; the best sometimes forget. - William Shakespeare
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. - Mark Twain
Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown
Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall
A man who is intimate with God is not intimidated by man. - Leonard Ravenhill
Wise men profit more from fools than fools from wise men. - Cato
The measure of a man is the way he bears up under misfortune. - Plutarch
A man's true height is determined by his thoughts and actions. - Unknown
The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do. - B.F. Skinner
No man should leave in the universe anything of which he is afraid. - G K Chesterton
An angry man is again angry with himself when he returns to reason. - Publilius Syrus
Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor. - Ogden Nash
There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel
What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man? - Homer Simpson
Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. - Ruth E. Renkel
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia Child
Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII
The General was essentially a man of peace, except in his domestic life. - Oscar Wilde
Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man. - Rabindranath Tagore
I never know whether to pity or congratulate a man on coming to his sense. - William Makepeace Thackeray
What the superior man seeks is in himself. What the mean man seeks is in others. - Confucius
To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V
The apprenticeship of difficulty is one which the greatest of men have had to serve. - Samuel Smiles
I should rather men ask why no statue has been erected in my honour, than why one has. - Marcus Porcius Cato
Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. - Oscar Wilde
I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going before you've still got them. - Mae West
The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud
A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts. - James Allen
Wandering re-establishes the original harmony which once existed between man and the universe. - Anatole France
Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true. - Demosthenes
Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but live for it. - Charles Caleb Colton
A man who has to be convinced to act before he acts is not a man of action. You must act as you breathe. - Georges Clemenceau
A man is not wealthy simply by the contents of his pockets alone, but instead by the richness of his heart. - Robert M. Hensel
In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours. - Milton Berle
It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him. - Abraham Lincoln
A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man — he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing
It is good for a man to invite his ghosts into his warm interior, out of the wild night, into the firelight, out of the howling dark. - A.S. Byatt
Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess, and to gain applause which he cannot keep. - Samuel Johnson
Animals, in their generation, are wiser than the sons of men; but their wisdom is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very narrow compass. - Joseph Addison
A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you. - C S Lewis
see also Dining, Food & Marriage
A Man’s BBQ
A Man’s Grill
Friendly BBQ Reminder
Great American Weenie Roast - Pitchfork Special
Louisiana Turtle Dogs
Real Man’s Barbecue
Redneck Box Barbeque
Redneck Fire Alarm
Redneck Stove Burner
Shopping Cart Hotplate
Tower of Hammocks
Family Birthday Reminder
Redneck Wireless Selfie