When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion…
1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
Here comes the important part…
4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most of all…
10) Everyone PRAISES the man and THANKS him for his cooking efforts.
11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “her night off.” And, upon seeing her
annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women!
No Sane man will dance. - Cicero
God created man, but I could do better. - Erma Bombeck
A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown
A man's only as old as the woman he feels. - Groucho Marx
I'm not a businessman. I'm a business, man. - Jay-Z
A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb
Everyone wishes that the man whom he fears would perish. - Ovid
Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. - Debra Messing
All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton
Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx
You have to know a man awfully well in Canada to know his surname. - John Buchan
Every man who wants to be President is either an egomaniac or crazy. - Dwight D Eisenhower
Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia Child
All this worldly wisdom was once the unnameable heresy of some wise man. - Henry David Thoreau
It is infinitely better to have a few good men than many indifferent ones. - George Washington
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone
The concept of number is the obvious distinction between the beast and man. - Joseph de Maistre
A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac
It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor. - Seneca
When you speak to a man, look on his eyes; when he speaks to thee, look on his mouth. - Benjamin Franklin
No man can cause more grief than one clinging blindly to the voices of his ancestors. - William Faulkner
The history of free men is never really written by chance but by choice; their choice! - Dwight D Eisenhower
As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May
Being kissed by a man who doesn't wax his moustache is like eating an egg without salt. - Rudyard Kipling
From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay
The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts. - William Hazlitt
Where there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income. - Plato
I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth - even if it costs him his job. - Samuel Goldwyn
A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost
Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration. - Niccolo Machiavelli
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner
It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this. - Bertrand Russell
When a man won't listen to his conscience, it's usually because he doesn't want advice from a total stranger. - Lindsey Stewart
The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton
Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him. - Dwight D Eisenhower
I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria
An ostentatious man will rather relate a blunder or an absurdity he has committed, than be debarred from talking of his own dear person. - Joseph Addison
I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene
Restlessness is discontent, and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man, and I'll show you a failure. - Thomas Edison
see also Dining, Food & Marriage
A Man’s BBQ
A Man’s Grill
Friendly BBQ Reminder
Great American Weenie Roast - Pitchfork Special
Louisiana Turtle Dogs
Real Man’s Barbecue
Redneck Box Barbeque
Redneck Fire Alarm
Redneck Stove Burner
Shopping Cart Hotplate
Lead Sled Dog
1954 Prom Queen
'Do Not Read' Sign
Don't Ever Give Up
Amsterdam House Poles
Neck Exercises to do at the Computer