A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn’t really care.
Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!
I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
I know what Victoria’s Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.
Now I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name, and my keys. But I’ve never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, “You know, sometimes I just forget to eat.”
Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him!
see also
Aging Section
 Nahtzee |
 I Can Still Kiss You |
 Church Dinner |
 59 Chev Boat |
 Urgent World War I Message |
 An Iceberg Floated Into Town |
 Walk Sign Timing |
 Family Hands |
 Chocolate Bed |
 Crocodile Floor |
 Texas 911 |
 Walk Sign Ending |
 Mower Handle Extender |
 Dentist Waiting Room |
 Ice Bell |
 Reptile Ride |
 Morning Inspiration |
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