A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn’t really care.
Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!
I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
I know what Victoria’s Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.
Now I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name, and my keys. But I’ve never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, “You know, sometimes I just forget to eat.”
Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him!
see also
Aging Section
 Let 'Er Rip |
 Redneck In Training |
 Sock Sandals |
 Men To The Left |
 Animal Rings |
 Jews: The Revenge |
 Former Baby |
 The Eye Of A Needle |
 Redneck Rolling Bottle Sprinkler |
 Snowy Barn Owl |
 His First Hot Rod |
 Arch Support |
 Stealth Flying Saucer |
 Justin Beiber Clothing |
 Redneck Mousetrap |
 Diet Swing |
 Stairway Dog |
Voted #1 Humor Site
