A little dirt never hurt anyone, just wipe it off.
Act your age.
Always say please and thank you - that way, you get more.
Am I talking to a brick wall?
As long as you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules.
Big boys don’t cry.
C’mon, you throw like a girl.
Coffee will stunt your growth.
Could those sleeves be any longer?
Didn’t your teacher learn you anything?
Do what I say, not what I do.
Do you think I’m made of money?
Don’t ask me, ask your mother.
Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
Don’t give me any of your lip, young lady.
Don’t make me stop the car!
Don’t tell on anybody unless you tell on yourself first.
Don’t use that tone with me!
Don’t worry. It’s only blood.
Don’t you know any normal boys?
Enough is enough!
Get your elbows off the table.
Hey, did you hear me talking to you?
“Hey” is for horses.
I didn’t feel a thing.
I don’t care what other people are doing - I’m not everybody else’s father!
I feel for you, but I can’t reach you from here.
I got my tongue wrapped around my eye-tooth and couldn’t see what I was saying.
I told you, keep your eye on the ball.
If I catch you doing that one more time, I’ll...
If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
If you’re gonna be dumb, you’ve gotta be tough.
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.
If you forget, you’ll be grounded till the end of the world.
I’ll play catch after I read the paper.
I’ll tell you why. Because I said so. That’s why.
I’m not just talking to hear my own voice!
I’m not sleeping, I was watching that channel.
I’m not watching television. I’m resting my eyes.
It’s hard to be good, and easy to be bad.
Just wait on the corner and another one will come along.
Men are like buses.
No, we’re not there yet.
Now you listen to ME, Buster!
Shake it off. It’s only pain.
Sit up straight!
So you think you’re smart, do you?
This is your last warning.
This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.
Turn off those lights.
Two wrongs do not make a right.
We’re not lost. I’m just not sure where we are.
Were you raised in a barn? Close the door.
What did I just get finished telling you?
What do you think I am, a bank?
What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?
What part of NO don’t you understand?
What will other parents think?
What’s so funny?
When I was your age , I treated MY father with respect.
Who said life was supposed to be fair?
Wipe that smile off your face.
Wipe your feet!
Worrying about things you can’t change is like a rocking chair - it gives you
something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
You call that a haircut?
You call that noise “music”?
You can marry a rich guy just as easily as you can a poor guy.
You didn’t beat me. I let you win.
You know you’re always gonna be Daddy’s little girl.
You look like a bag lady!
You should visit more often.
You want something to do? I’ll give you something to do.
Young ladies perspire, they do not sweat.
You’re not leaving my house dressed like that!
Your mother worries too much.
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. - Groucho Marx
Everyone is the son of his own works. - Miguel de Cervantes
A father is a banker provided by nature. - French Proverb
If a thing isn't worth saying, you sing it. - Pierre Beaumarchais
One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. - George Herbert
Being a Dad is the greatest, except for assembling things. - Conan O'Brien
I have enjoyed life a lot more by saying yes than by saying no. - Richard Branson
Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia Child
The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - John Wooden
The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli
My heart is happy, my mind is free.
I had a father who talked with me. - Hilde Bigelow
Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech
They invented hugs to let people know you love them without saying anything. - Bill Keane
Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher
There is nothing wrong with having nothing to say - unless you insist on saying it. - Unknown
I haven't taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week. - Mario Cuomo
For me, there's a kind of absolute power to saying the opposite of what you feel. - Sarah Silverman
My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey
I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander
I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke
One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Ray Chenoweth
If you keep on saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet. - Isaac B. Singer
That's what Abel was saying when he got it in the back from his own brother with a cane. - Archie Bunker
Don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that man's shoes. - Elvis Presley
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell
Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless. - Homer Simpson
Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can't be done. - Bo Bennett
What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein
If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar
For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor
How shall a man escape from his ancestors, or draw off from his veins the black drop which he drew from his father’s or mother's life? - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader
Half the world is composed of those who have something to say but can't; the other half is of those who have nothing to say and keep on saying it. - Robert Frost
Father’s Day Selfie
I Love Dad
“Must Have” Power Drill
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages
Hold On Tight
New Driver Training
Bronx School Bus
Lead Sled Dog
1954 Prom Queen
'Do Not Read' Sign
Don't Ever Give Up
Amsterdam House Poles