A little dirt never hurt anyone, just wipe it off.
Act your age.
Always say please and thank you - that way, you get more.
Am I talking to a brick wall?
As long as you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules.
Big boys don’t cry.
C’mon, you throw like a girl.
Coffee will stunt your growth.
Could those sleeves be any longer?
Didn’t your teacher learn you anything?
Do what I say, not what I do.
Do you think I’m made of money?
Don’t ask me, ask your mother.
Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
Don’t give me any of your lip, young lady.
Don’t make me stop the car!
Don’t tell on anybody unless you tell on yourself first.
Don’t use that tone with me!
Don’t worry. It’s only blood.
Don’t you know any normal boys?
Enough is enough!
Get your elbows off the table.
Hey, did you hear me talking to you?
“Hey” is for horses.
I didn’t feel a thing.
I don’t care what other people are doing - I’m not everybody else’s father!
I feel for you, but I can’t reach you from here.
I got my tongue wrapped around my eye-tooth and couldn’t see what I was saying.
I told you, keep your eye on the ball.
If I catch you doing that one more time, I’ll...
If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
If you’re gonna be dumb, you’ve gotta be tough.
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.
If you forget, you’ll be grounded till the end of the world.
I’ll play catch after I read the paper.
I’ll tell you why. Because I said so. That’s why.
I’m not just talking to hear my own voice!
I’m not sleeping, I was watching that channel.
I’m not watching television. I’m resting my eyes.
It’s hard to be good, and easy to be bad.
Just wait on the corner and another one will come along.
Men are like buses.
No, we’re not there yet.
Now you listen to ME, Buster!
Shake it off. It’s only pain.
Sit up straight!
So you think you’re smart, do you?
This is your last warning.
This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.
Turn off those lights.
Two wrongs do not make a right.
We’re not lost. I’m just not sure where we are.
Were you raised in a barn? Close the door.
What did I just get finished telling you?
What do you think I am, a bank?
What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?
What part of NO don’t you understand?
What will other parents think?
What’s so funny?
When I was your age , I treated MY father with respect.
Who said life was supposed to be fair?
Wipe that smile off your face.
Wipe your feet!
Worrying about things you can’t change is like a rocking chair - it gives you
something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
You call that a haircut?
You call that noise “music”?
You can marry a rich guy just as easily as you can a poor guy.
You didn’t beat me. I let you win.
You know you’re always gonna be Daddy’s little girl.
You look like a bag lady!
You should visit more often.
You want something to do? I’ll give you something to do.
Young ladies perspire, they do not sweat.
You’re not leaving my house dressed like that!
Your mother worries too much.
No. I am your Father. - Darth Vader
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. - Groucho Marx
Everyone is the son of his own works. - Miguel de Cervantes
Geologists have a saying - rocks remember. - Neil Armstrong
He wants his son to follow in his footprints. - Archie Bunker
It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare
If a thing isn't worth saying, you sing it. - Pierre Beaumarchais
The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx
My father... one of the great immorals, er, immortals, of our time. - WC Fields
My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins
Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table is ready." - Robin Williams
A picture is worth a thousand words, but try saying that with a picture. - Unknown
My heart is happy, my mind is free.
I had a father who talked with me. - Hilde Bigelow
Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. - Chinese Proverb
Ever hear of the old saying, "grass don't grow on a busy street?" - Archie Bunker
There is nothing wrong with having nothing to say - unless you insist on saying it. - Unknown
Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid. - Walter Winchell
I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander
One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Ray Chenoweth
If you keep on saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet. - Isaac B. Singer
You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg
The most important thing my father taught me is that every man has to stand up for his rights. - Ziggy Marley
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
Failure is God's way of saying, "Excuse me, you're moving in the wrong direction." - Oprah
Cynics always so no. Saying yes leads to knowledge. So for as long as you have the strength to, say yes. - Stephen Colbert
I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell
Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can't be done. - Bo Bennett
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
I'm not saying I'm gonna change the world, but I guarantee that I will spark the brain that will change the world. - Tupac Shakur
When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as Catch-22 I'm tempted to reply, "Who has?" - Joseph Heller
In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar
The first minute we get something beautiful going you got a way of saying things that just, I dunno, breaks the whole spill. - Archie Bunker
I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying "flee at once - all is discovered." They all left town immediately. - Mark Twain
I was Ashallayn’darkmyr Tallyn, son of Mab, former prince of the Unseelie Court, and I was not afraid of a witch on a broom. - Julie Kagawa
Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. - Rene Descartes
My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle
Style is that which indicates how the writer takes himself and what he is saying. It is the mind skating circles around itself as it moves forward. - Robert Frost
Father’s Day Selfie
I Love Dad
“Must Have” Power Drill
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages
Easter Egg Hunt
Chocolate Easter Bunnies
Did You Say Happy Easter?
Taking No Chance with the Mother-In-Law
Egg Hatch Breakfast
Happy Easter, Big Guy
Easter Egg Drop-outs
Spring Sock Clearance
Easter Identity Theft
Easter Preparation Down Under