Father Sayings for Father’s Day

Ever heard your father say any of these gems?


A little dirt never hurt anyone, just wipe it off.
Act your age.
Always say please and thank you - that way, you get more.
Am I talking to a brick wall?
As long as you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules.

Big boys don’t cry.

C’mon, you throw like a girl.
Coffee will stunt your growth.
Could those sleeves be any longer?

Didn’t your teacher learn you anything?
Do what I say, not what I do.
Do you think I’m made of money?
Don’t ask me, ask your mother.
Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
Don’t give me any of your lip, young lady.
Don’t make me stop the car!
Don’t tell on anybody unless you tell on yourself first.
Don’t use that tone with me!
Don’t worry. It’s only blood.
Don’t you know any normal boys?

Enough is enough!

Get your elbows off the table.

Hey, did you hear me talking to you?
“Hey” is for horses.
Hurt much?

I didn’t feel a thing.
I don’t care what other people are doing - I’m not everybody else’s father!
I feel for you, but I can’t reach you from here.
I got my tongue wrapped around my eye-tooth and couldn’t see what I was saying.
I told you, keep your eye on the ball.
If I catch you doing that one more time, I’ll...
If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
If you’re gonna be dumb, you’ve gotta be tough.
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.
If you forget, you’ll be grounded till the end of the world.
I’ll play catch after I read the paper.
I’ll tell you why. Because I said so. That’s why.
I’m not just talking to hear my own voice!
I’m not sleeping, I was watching that channel.
I’m not watching television. I’m resting my eyes.
It’s hard to be good, and easy to be bad.

Just wait on the corner and another one will come along.

Men are like buses.

No, we’re not there yet.
Now you listen to ME, Buster!

Shake it off. It’s only pain.
Sit up straight!
So you think you’re smart, do you?

This is your last warning.
This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.
Turn off those lights.
Two wrongs do not make a right.

We’re not lost. I’m just not sure where we are.
Were you raised in a barn? Close the door.
What did I just get finished telling you?
What do you think I am, a bank?
What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?
What part of NO don’t you understand?
What will other parents think?
What’s so funny?
When I was your age , I treated MY father with respect.
Who said life was supposed to be fair?
Wipe that smile off your face.
Wipe your feet!
Worrying about things you can’t change is like a rocking chair - it gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.

You call that a haircut?
You call that noise “music”?
You can marry a rich guy just as easily as you can a poor guy.
You didn’t beat me. I let you win.
You know you’re always gonna be Daddy’s little girl.
You look like a bag lady!
You should visit more often.
You want something to do? I’ll give you something to do.
Young ladies perspire, they do not sweat.
You’re not leaving my house dressed like that!
Your mother worries too much.


QuotaBills
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. - Groucho Marx

Everyone is the son of his own works. - Miguel de Cervantes

Directly after God in heaven comes a Papa. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. - Luke 23:24

Love is the silent saying and saying of a single name. - Mignon McLaughlin

Being a Dad is the greatest, except for assembling things. - Conan O'Brien

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. - Spike Milligan

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said. - Mel Brooks

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe

My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins

A picture is worth a thousand words, but try saying that with a picture. - Unknown

The art of leadership is saying no, not yes. It is very easy to say yes. - Tony Blair

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

Almost every wise saying has an opposite one, no less wise, to balance it. - George Santayana

Ever hear of the old saying, "grass don't grow on a busy street?" - Archie Bunker

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

There is nothing wrong with having nothing to say - unless you insist on saying it. - Unknown

For me, there's a kind of absolute power to saying the opposite of what you feel. - Sarah Silverman

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. - Mark Twain

There's an old saying, "Ya don't keep runnin' after you catch the bus." - Archie Bunker

There's an old saying in Hollywood: It's not the length of your film, it's how you use it. - Ben Stiller

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless. - Homer Simpson

I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair

What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein

The first minute we get something beautiful going you got a way of saying things that just, I dunno, breaks the whole spill. - Archie Bunker

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


see also   Quote  Section
Father’s Day Selfie
Fatherly Advice
I Love Dad
“Must Have” Power Drill
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages

 

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20-Jul-2019