[To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. The
following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a
hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.
You will understand what 'tendjewberrymud' means by the end of the conversation...]
Room Service (RS): Morny. Ruin sorbees.
Guest (G): Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.
RS: Rye... Ruin sorbees... morny! Djewish to odor
G: Uh... yes... I’d like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ouw July den?
RS: Ouw July den?... pryd, boyd, poochd?
G: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry,
RS: Ouw July dee baychem? Crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Hokay. An Sahn toes?
RS: An toes. July Sahn toes?
G: I don’t think so.
RS: No? Judo sahn toes?
G: I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know
what ’judo sahn toes’ means.
RS: Toes! toes!... Why djew Don Juan toes? Ouw bow
Anglish moppin we boter?
G: English muffin! I’ve got it! You were saying
‘Toast.’ Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
RS: We boter?
G: No... just put the boter on the side.
G: I mean butter... just put it on the side.
RS: Copy... tea... mill?
G: Yes. Coffee, please, and that’s all.
RS: One Minnie. Scram egg, crease baychem, Anglish
moppin we boter on sigh and copy.... rye?
G: Whatever you say.
G: You’re very welcome.
Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien
The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert
A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb
Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Sir Francis Bacon
Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley
The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin
There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge
I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. - Mark Twain
Retire? I can't spell the word. I'd play in a wheelchair. - Keith Richards
Extremists think 'communication' means agreeing with them. - Leo Rosten
England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw
Our waking hours form the text of our lives, our dreams, the commentary. - Unknown
Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown
Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown
If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright
The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary. - Arthur Schopenhauer
A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli
Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard
Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw
The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand
Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard
Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound
Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman
Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere
Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown
The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt
Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman
Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood
The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan
The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela
Good content should be at the heart of your strategy, but it is equally important to keep the display context of that content in mind as well. - Tim Frick
I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell
Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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