[To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. The
following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a
hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.
You will understand what 'tendjewberrymud' means by the end of the conversation...]
Room Service (RS): Morny. Ruin sorbees.
Guest (G): Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.
RS: Rye... Ruin sorbees... morny! Djewish to odor
G: Uh... yes... I’d like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ouw July den?
RS: Ouw July den?... pryd, boyd, poochd?
G: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry,
RS: Ouw July dee baychem? Crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Hokay. An Sahn toes?
RS: An toes. July Sahn toes?
G: I don’t think so.
RS: No? Judo sahn toes?
G: I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know
what ’judo sahn toes’ means.
RS: Toes! toes!... Why djew Don Juan toes? Ouw bow
Anglish moppin we boter?
G: English muffin! I’ve got it! You were saying
‘Toast.’ Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
RS: We boter?
G: No... just put the boter on the side.
G: I mean butter... just put it on the side.
RS: Copy... tea... mill?
G: Yes. Coffee, please, and that’s all.
RS: One Minnie. Scram egg, crease baychem, Anglish
moppin we boter on sigh and copy.... rye?
G: Whatever you say.
G: You’re very welcome.
Is there another word for synonym? - George Carlin
I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham
I am disappointment in you're grammar. - Unknown
Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Sir Francis Bacon
Good sayings are like pearls strung together. - Chinese Proverb
Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid
I will not down to posterity talking bad grammar. - Benjamin Disraeli
Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten
Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley
We now communicate with everyone and say absolutely nothing. - Ted Koppel
We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers
You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne
There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge
Extremists think 'communication' means agreeing with them. - Leo Rosten
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain
Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown
If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright
The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary. - Arthur Schopenhauer
A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of. - Burt Bacharach
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw
The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand
Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy
Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde
The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud
Grammar: the difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You're Nuts. - Unknown
It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw
German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton
The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt
Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman
A dinosaur out of context is like a character without a story. Worse than that, the character suffers from amnesia. - Jack Horner
If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela
Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton
No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas
This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown
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