Tendjewberrymud

Translation 101 for anyone traveling to the Far East


[To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review. You will understand what 'tendjewberrymud' means by the end of the conversation...]

Room Service (RS): Morny. Ruin sorbees.
Guest (G): Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.
RS: Rye... Ruin sorbees... morny! Djewish to odor sunteen?
G: Uh... yes... I’d like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ouw July den?
G: What?
RS: Ouw July den?... pryd, boyd, poochd?
G: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.
RS: Ouw July dee baychem? Crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Hokay. An Sahn toes?
G: What?
RS: An toes. July Sahn toes?
G: I don’t think so.
RS: No? Judo sahn toes?
G: I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ’judo sahn toes’ means.
RS: Toes! toes!... Why djew Don Juan toes? Ouw bow Anglish moppin we boter?
G: English muffin! I’ve got it! You were saying ‘Toast.’ Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
RS: We boter?
G: No... just put the boter on the side.
RS: Wad?
G: I mean butter... just put it on the side.
RS: Copy?
G: Sorry?
RS: Copy... tea... mill?
G: Yes. Coffee, please, and that’s all.
RS: One Minnie. Scram egg, crease baychem, Anglish moppin we boter on sigh and copy.... rye?
G: Whatever you say.
RS: Tendjewberrymud.
G: You’re very welcome.





QuotaBills
Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Good sayings are like pearls strung together. - Chinese Proverb

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

We now communicate with everyone and say absolutely nothing. - Ted Koppel

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. - Peter F Drucker

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

I want flowers, I don't want to text. What does that make me? What kind of dinosaur am I? - Jennifer Garner

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

He respects Owl, because you can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right. - A. A. Milne

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Good leaders must communicate vision clearly, creatively and continually. However, the vision doesn't come alive until the leader models it. - John C Maxwell

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


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23-Oct-2018