[To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. The
following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a
hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.
You will understand what 'tendjewberrymud' means by the end of the conversation...]
Room Service (RS): Morny. Ruin sorbees.
Guest (G): Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.
RS: Rye... Ruin sorbees... morny! Djewish to odor
G: Uh... yes... I’d like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ouw July den?
RS: Ouw July den?... pryd, boyd, poochd?
G: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry,
RS: Ouw July dee baychem? Crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Hokay. An Sahn toes?
RS: An toes. July Sahn toes?
G: I don’t think so.
RS: No? Judo sahn toes?
G: I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know
what ’judo sahn toes’ means.
RS: Toes! toes!... Why djew Don Juan toes? Ouw bow
Anglish moppin we boter?
G: English muffin! I’ve got it! You were saying
‘Toast.’ Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
RS: We boter?
G: No... just put the boter on the side.
G: I mean butter... just put it on the side.
RS: Copy... tea... mill?
G: Yes. Coffee, please, and that’s all.
RS: One Minnie. Scram egg, crease baychem, Anglish
moppin we boter on sigh and copy.... rye?
G: Whatever you say.
G: You’re very welcome.
Is there another word for synonym? - George Carlin
Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien
What's another word for thesaurus? - Steven Wright
I will not down to posterity talking bad grammar. - Benjamin Disraeli
Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten
Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham
We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers
You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne
You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart
Retire? I can't spell the word. I'd play in a wheelchair. - Keith Richards
Extremists think 'communication' means agreeing with them. - Leo Rosten
I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain
Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion
The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. - Peter F Drucker
Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown
The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary. - Arthur Schopenhauer
A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli
Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater
The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand
We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante
Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound
I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg
The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud
Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere
It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw
Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown
German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton
Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman
The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton
Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain
He respects Owl, because you can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right. - A. A. Milne
Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb
Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin
Good content should be at the heart of your strategy, but it is equally important to keep the display context of that content in mind as well. - Tim Frick
This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown
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