Tendjewberrymud

Translation 101 for anyone traveling to the Far East


[To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review. You will understand what 'tendjewberrymud' means by the end of the conversation...]

Room Service (RS): Morny. Ruin sorbees.
Guest (G): Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.
RS: Rye... Ruin sorbees... morny! Djewish to odor sunteen?
G: Uh... yes... I’d like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ouw July den?
G: What?
RS: Ouw July den?... pryd, boyd, poochd?
G: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.
RS: Ouw July dee baychem? Crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Hokay. An Sahn toes?
G: What?
RS: An toes. July Sahn toes?
G: I don’t think so.
RS: No? Judo sahn toes?
G: I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ’judo sahn toes’ means.
RS: Toes! toes!... Why djew Don Juan toes? Ouw bow Anglish moppin we boter?
G: English muffin! I’ve got it! You were saying ‘Toast.’ Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
RS: We boter?
G: No... just put the boter on the side.
RS: Wad?
G: I mean butter... just put it on the side.
RS: Copy?
G: Sorry?
RS: Copy... tea... mill?
G: Yes. Coffee, please, and that’s all.
RS: One Minnie. Scram egg, crease baychem, Anglish moppin we boter on sigh and copy.... rye?
G: Whatever you say.
RS: Tendjewberrymud.
G: You’re very welcome.





QuotaBills
Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Sir Francis Bacon

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. - Mark Twain

Retire? I can't spell the word. I'd play in a wheelchair. - Keith Richards

Extremists think 'communication' means agreeing with them. - Leo Rosten

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Our waking hours form the text of our lives, our dreams, the commentary. - Unknown

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

The first 40 years of life give us the text; the next 30 supply the commentary. - Arthur Schopenhauer

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

Good content should be at the heart of your strategy, but it is equally important to keep the display context of that content in mind as well. - Tim Frick

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


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20-Apr-2019