[To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. The
following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a
hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.
You will understand what 'tendjewberrymud' means by the end of the conversation...]
Room Service (RS): Morny. Ruin sorbees.
Guest (G): Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.
RS: Rye... Ruin sorbees... morny! Djewish to odor
G: Uh... yes... I’d like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ouw July den?
RS: Ouw July den?... pryd, boyd, poochd?
G: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry,
RS: Ouw July dee baychem? Crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Hokay. An Sahn toes?
RS: An toes. July Sahn toes?
G: I don’t think so.
RS: No? Judo sahn toes?
G: I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know
what ’judo sahn toes’ means.
RS: Toes! toes!... Why djew Don Juan toes? Ouw bow
Anglish moppin we boter?
G: English muffin! I’ve got it! You were saying
‘Toast.’ Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
RS: We boter?
G: No... just put the boter on the side.
G: I mean butter... just put it on the side.
RS: Copy... tea... mill?
G: Yes. Coffee, please, and that’s all.
RS: One Minnie. Scram egg, crease baychem, Anglish
moppin we boter on sigh and copy.... rye?
G: Whatever you say.
G: You’re very welcome.
A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Speech is the small change of silence. - George Meredith
The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert
I am disappointment in you're grammar. - Unknown
Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid
Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle
A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin
I will not down to posterity talking bad grammar. - Benjamin Disraeli
Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand
Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten
Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley
Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham
Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown
We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry
There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge
England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw
Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion
Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow
Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown
Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown
I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand
Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine
Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard
The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard
At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden
The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud
Language is our meeting place, the sea we live inâ€¦it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe
Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere
I want flowers, I don't want to text. What does that make me? What kind of dinosaur am I? - Jennifer Garner
Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. - Unknown
German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton
Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie
The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt
Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman
A dinosaur out of context is like a character without a story. Worse than that, the character suffers from amnesia. - Jack Horner
I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell
Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon
Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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