Catapult Soccer

How cats prepare for the World Cup



Cat stnading in way of a football player about to kick a soccer ball

QuotaBills
A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

I wake up laughing every day. I get a kick out of life. - Bruce Willis

If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive. - Dale Carnegie

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

There's no educational value in the second kick of a mule. - American saying

All successful revolutions are the kicking in of a rotten door. - John Kenneth Galbraith

You are the antibodies kicking in as the planet fights its fever. - Bill McKibben

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a good carpenter to build one. - Sam Rayburn

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. - Walt Disney

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month. - Theodore Roosevelt

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


see also   Cat  &  Soccer  Sections
Cat Got Your Tongue?
Desert Soccer Fans
Flipper Soccer
Garden Gnome Soccer
Global Penalty Shoot-Out
Head Butt
Irish Diplomacy
Italian Soccer Practice
Kickback
Penalty Shot
Reach For Your Dreams
Real FootBall
Vuvuzela Hits
World Cup Attention Getter
World Cup Elephant
World Cup Memories for English Fans

 

A Frayed Knot

Oxford Comma

Sail Flight

Quit Your Wining

Practice Safe Text

Stylish Butcher

Milkshake Diet

Beginner's Billiards

Piano Shelves

Faster, My Noble Steed!

Motel Hunters

Ice Climbing Building

Daily Trivia C

Oxford Style

Fairy Soap

Throwaway Sport Paper

Young At Heart

Like No Udder

Love Thy Neighbour

Good To The Last Drop
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

25-Jun-2017