Atheist Holiday

U.S. court case sets new Atheist Holiday


In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case Dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists’ holiday!”

The lawyer pompously said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?”

The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st. Since our calendar sets April 1st as “April Fools Day,” consider Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53 which state, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God.” Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!”


Inner peace achieved through forgiveness - letting go of the past,
and drinking to the future ...

QuotaBills
Only a fool knows everything. - Maasai Proverb

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

A fool and his money are soon elected. - Will Rogers

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

Arguing with a fool proves there are two. - Doris M. Smith

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

Any fool can criticize, and many of them do. - Cyril Garbett

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. - Euripides

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. - Martin Luther King Jr.

I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro

A fox should not be on the jury at a goose's trial. - Thomas Fuller

Wise men don't need advice. Fools don't take it. - Benjamin Franklin

To the wise, life is a problem; to the fool, a solution. - Marcus Aurelius

You're breakin' about 18 laws, maybe even a dozen. - Archie Bunker

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling. He who makes one is a fool. - F.M. Knowles

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools. - Napoleon Bonaparte

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

The best use of laws is to teach men to trample bad laws under their feet. - Wendell Phillips

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

It never hurts a fool to appear before an audience, for his capacity is not a capacity for feeling. - Dale Breckenridge Carnegie

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin. - Charles Darwin

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Always remember money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense. - Earl Wilson

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. - Dale Carnegie

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it. - H L Mencken

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

We are all the fools of time and terror: Days Steal on us and steal from us; yet we live, Loathing our life, and dreading still to die. - George Gordon Byron

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille


see also   Lawyer  &  Religious  Sections
Atheist Nativity Scene
Bible Reference - Emergency Contact Numbers
Center Of The Bible
God’s Little Instructions
Psalm 23
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
Legal Exhibit
Psalm 109
Psalm 129
Psalm 404
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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20-Nov-2017