Atheist Holiday

U.S. court case sets new Atheist Holiday


In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case Dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists’ holiday!”

The lawyer pompously said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?”

The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st. Since our calendar sets April 1st as “April Fools Day,” consider Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53 which state, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God.” Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!”


Inner peace achieved through forgiveness - letting go of the past,
and drinking to the future ...

QuotaBills
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

Only a fool knows everything. - Maasai Proverb

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

A fool and his money are soon parted. - English Proverb

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

A jester unemployed is nobody's fool. - Danny Kaye

Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. - Euripides

Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. - Seneca

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

That's the spirit - one part brave, three parts fool. - Christopher Paolini

Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool who follows him? - Obi Wan Kenobi

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made. - Otto von Bismarck

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself. - Charlie Chaplin

Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler

Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools. - Napoleon Bonaparte

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

A fellow who is always declaring he’s no fool usually has suspicions. - Wilson Miznor

Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it. - Samuel Butler

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. - Mark Twain

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

Even when laws have been written down, they ought not always to remain unaltered. - Aristotle

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

Even a wise man knows doubt from time to time, it is the fool who allows it to rule his judgement. - Jennifer Hudock

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Groucho Marx

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot. - Groucho Marx

When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean. - Lin-Chi

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne


see also   Lawyer  &  Religious  Sections
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Psalm 109
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18-Apr-2019