Atheist Holiday

U.S. court case sets new Atheist Holiday


In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case Dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists’ holiday!”

The lawyer pompously said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?”

The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st. Since our calendar sets April 1st as “April Fools Day,” consider Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53 which state, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God.” Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!”


Inner peace achieved through forgiveness - letting go of the past,
and drinking to the future ...

QuotaBills
The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow

Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas

Useless laws weaken necessary laws. - Charles de Secondat

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

It takes two fools to have an argument. - Unknown

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

Last words are for fools who haven't said enough. - Karl Marx

I love fools' experiments. I am always making them. - Charles Darwin

Canada is the homeland of equality, justice and tolerance. - Kim Campbell

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

Wise people learn when they can.
Fools learn when they must. - Arthur Wellesley Wellington

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Fools take to themselves the respect that is given to their office. - Aesop

We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. - Japanese Proverb

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools. - Napoleon Bonaparte

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it. - Samuel Butler

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm

Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. - Ernest Hemingway

Ethics and equity and the principles of justice do not change with the calendar. - D.H. Lawrence

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top. - Unknown

Do not correct a fool or he will hate you. Correct a wise man and he will appreciate you. - Unknown

Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongue. - Old Testament

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean. - Lin-Chi

Always remember money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense. - Earl Wilson

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. - Dale Carnegie

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

Morality cannot be legislated, but behavior can be regulated. Judicial decrees may not change the heart, but they can restrain the heartless. - Martin Luther King Jr.

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright


see also   Lawyer  &  Religious  Sections
Atheist Nativity Scene
Bible Reference - Emergency Contact Numbers
Center Of The Bible
God’s Little Instructions
Psalm 23
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
Legal Exhibit
Psalm 109
Psalm 129
Psalm 404
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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28-Jul-2017