Atheist Holiday

U.S. court case sets new Atheist Holiday


In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case Dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists’ holiday!”

The lawyer pompously said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?”

The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st. Since our calendar sets April 1st as “April Fools Day,” consider Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53 which state, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God.” Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!”


Inner peace achieved through forgiveness - letting go of the past,
and drinking to the future ...

QuotaBills
Only a fool knows everything. - Maasai Proverb

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool. - Arabic proverb

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

The worst form of injustice is pretended justice. - Plato

Writing laws is easy, but governing is difficult. - Leo Tolstoy

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

A fox should not be on the jury at a goose's trial. - Thomas Fuller

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool who follows him? - Obi Wan Kenobi

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

Fools take to themselves the respect that is given to their office. - Aesop

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

A fellow who is always declaring he’s no fool usually has suspicions. - Wilson Miznor

Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. - Mark Twain

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington

Do not correct a fool or he will hate you. Correct a wise man and he will appreciate you. - Unknown

Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn

In Islam, the legislative power and competence to establish laws belong exclusively to God. - Ayatollah Khomeini

A criminal remains a criminal whether he uses a convict's suit or a monarch's crown. - Victor Hugo

Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. - Plato

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

It never hurts a fool to appear before an audience, for his capacity is not a capacity for feeling. - Dale Breckenridge Carnegie

Those who will not reason are bigots, those who cannot are fools, and those who dare not are slaves. - George Gordon

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

The judicial system is the most expensive machine ever invented for finding out what happened and what to do about it. - Irving R. Kaufman

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. - Dale Carnegie

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it. - H L Mencken

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

Laws are like spiders' webs which, if anything small falls into them they ensnare it, but large things break through and escape. - Solon

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille


see also   Lawyer  &  Religious  Sections
Atheist Nativity Scene
Bible Reference - Emergency Contact Numbers
Center Of The Bible
God’s Little Instructions
Psalm 23
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
Legal Exhibit
Psalm 109
Psalm 129
Psalm 404
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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20-Aug-2019