Atheist Holiday

U.S. court case sets new Atheist Holiday


In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case Dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists’ holiday!”

The lawyer pompously said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?”

The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st. Since our calendar sets April 1st as “April Fools Day,” consider Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53 which state, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God.” Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!”


Inner peace achieved through forgiveness - letting go of the past,
and drinking to the future ...

QuotaBills
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A fool and his money are soon partying. - Steven Wright

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Arguing with a fool proves there are two. - Doris M. Smith

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Any fool can criticize, and many of them do. - Cyril Garbett

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

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Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

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The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Wise men don't need advice. Fools don't take it. - Benjamin Franklin

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

You're breakin' about 18 laws, maybe even a dozen. - Archie Bunker

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

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It should be possible to explain the laws of physics to a barmaid. - Albert Einstein

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends. - Baltasar Gracian

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it. - Samuel Butler

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

Anyone who works is a fool. I don't work - I merely inflict myself on the public. - Robert Morley

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

In Islam, the legislative power and competence to establish laws belong exclusively to God. - Ayatollah Khomeini

Disease is war with the laws of our being, and all war, as a great general has said, is hell. - Lewis G. Janes

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

Those who will not reason are bigots, those who cannot are fools, and those who dare not are slaves. - George Gordon

The trouble with our laws these days is that the criminals know their rights better than their wrongs. - Unknown

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean. - Lin-Chi

Always remember money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense. - Earl Wilson

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice. - Winston Churchill


see also   Lawyer  &  Religious  Sections
Atheist Nativity Scene
Bible Reference - Emergency Contact Numbers
Center Of The Bible
God’s Little Instructions
Psalm 23
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
Legal Exhibit
Psalm 109
Psalm 129
Psalm 404
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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18-Jan-2018