Atheist Holiday

U.S. court case sets new Atheist Holiday


In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case Dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists’ holiday!”

The lawyer pompously said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?”

The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st. Since our calendar sets April 1st as “April Fools Day,” consider Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53 which state, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God.” Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!”


Inner peace achieved through forgiveness - letting go of the past,
and drinking to the future ...

QuotaBills
Only a fool knows everything. - Maasai Proverb

Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Useless laws weaken necessary laws. - Charles de Secondat

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

A fool and his money are soon elected. - Will Rogers

A jester unemployed is nobody's fool. - Danny Kaye

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Wise men don't need advice. Fools don't take it. - Benjamin Franklin

To the wise, life is a problem; to the fool, a solution. - Marcus Aurelius

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius

A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends. - Baltasar Gracian

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

The laws of probability - so true in general, so fallacious in particular. - Edward Gibbon

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

Anyone who works is a fool. I don't work - I merely inflict myself on the public. - Robert Morley

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him. - Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller

Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongue. - Old Testament

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. - Herbert Spencer

Even a wise man knows doubt from time to time, it is the fool who allows it to rule his judgement. - Jennifer Hudock

Walk away from anything or anyone who takes away from your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools. - Unknown

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

Always remember money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense. - Earl Wilson

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

As a rule man is a fool,
When it's hot he wants it cool,
When it's cool he wants it hot,
Always wanting what is not. - Unknown


see also   Lawyer  &  Religious  Sections
Atheist Nativity Scene
Bible Reference - Emergency Contact Numbers
Center Of The Bible
God’s Little Instructions
Psalm 23
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
Legal Exhibit
Psalm 109
Psalm 129
Psalm 404
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

Snake Bait

Hats Off

Elephant Blues

Drop Ceiling

The Spacebar

Fish Walk

Chess Sudoku Puzzles

Pond Management

Vintage Campers

Cliff Side Camping

Tree Removal

Blake Lively

Cheers!

Da Vinci Code Revealed

What An Earfull

Fowl Play

Squirrel Feeder Trap

Inside Out Cat

Summer Speeding Ticket

Property Boundary
Submissions by Warren RalstonFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

27-May-2017