Atheist Holiday

U.S. court case sets new Atheist Holiday


In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case Dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists’ holiday!”

The lawyer pompously said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?”

The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st. Since our calendar sets April 1st as “April Fools Day,” consider Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53 which state, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God.” Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!”


Inner peace achieved through forgiveness - letting go of the past,
and drinking to the future ...

QuotaBills
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Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. - Euripides

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

Last words are for fools who haven't said enough. - Karl Marx

I love fools' experiments. I am always making them. - Charles Darwin

Wise men don't need advice. Fools don't take it. - Benjamin Franklin

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

When a fool has made up his mind, the market has gone by. - Spanish Proverb

Nature never makes any blunders. When she makes a fool she means it. - Archibald Alexander

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb

Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

The laws of probability - so true in general, so fallacious in particular. - Edward Gibbon

The best use of laws is to teach men to trample bad laws under their feet. - Wendell Phillips

Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. - Wilson Mizner

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

Ethics and equity and the principles of justice do not change with the calendar. - D.H. Lawrence

The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of a wise man is in his heart. - Benjamin Franklin

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington

Only priests and fools are fearless and I've never been on the best of terms with God. - Patrick Rothfuss

He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller

Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongue. - Old Testament

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

Disease is war with the laws of our being, and all war, as a great general has said, is hell. - Lewis G. Janes

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. - Herbert Spencer

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke

The trouble with our laws these days is that the criminals know their rights better than their wrongs. - Unknown

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West


see also   Lawyer  &  Religious  Sections
Atheist Nativity Scene
Bible Reference - Emergency Contact Numbers
Center Of The Bible
God’s Little Instructions
Psalm 23
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
Legal Exhibit
Psalm 109
Psalm 129
Psalm 404
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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13-Nov-2018