Sorry About The Mess

“Housekeeper of the Year” award goes to...


This is a Houston apartment, found during a recent hurricane evacuation
inspection. By the looks of the stained couch cushions, she didn’t move
very far from here. This is NOT hurricane damage -
the apartment was found this way prior to the hurricane.
House hoarders - saving room for cigarette butts

Hard to believe there wasn’t a fire with all the cigarettes.
Did this woman ever hear of an ashtray? Nope - empty soda cups will do...
House hoarders - room full of garbage



All the Febreze, Clorox and bleach in the world isn’t going to help this mess!
House hoarders - kitchen leftovers

NOOOOOOOOO - not the computer!!!
House hoarders - computer cigarette butts

Notice the small “butt free” area around the bottom of the mouse where her
hand rubbed the mouse pad, and what keys on the keyboard that were used...
House hoarders - computer keyboard butts

Here come the gross parts...
House hoarders - bathroom butts

I’m sure she had intentions of cleaning, but probably put it off till tomorrow...
House hoarders - more bathroom butts

I don’t want to even think what that pile on the sink is...
House hoarders - and more bathroom butts and garbage

Always room for more pizza and do-nuts!
House hoarders - leftover food bonanza

House hoarders - mountain of garbage

Remember when you last said to a visitor,
“Sorry about the mess, I haven’t done my cleaning yet today!”
After looking at this, it’s safe to say that your house is not so bad after all...

QuotaBills
An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

A man in the house is worth two in the street. - Mae West

Heaven is home. Utopia is here. Nirvana is now. - Edward Abbey

He'd go through the house like Typhoon Mary. - Archie Bunker

Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker

There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort. - Jane Austen

I can't clean house and save the world at the same time. - Unknown

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. - George Carlin

I still close my eyes and go home... I can always draw from that. - Dolly Parton

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Don't ya know it's bad luck to keep icrons in a Christian home? - Archie Bunker

Welcome to our home. And as yous people say "shaboom" (shalom) - Archie Bunker

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it. - George Moore

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

You need a plan to build a house. To build a life, it is even more important to have a plan or goal. - Zig Ziglar

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. - Pearl Williams

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow. - Lin Yutang

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it. - Don Fraser

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

I am like a pelican of the wilderness: I am like an owl of the desert. I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house-top. - Bible

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. - Steven Wright

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright


see also  Stress  Section
Hoarder Car
It’s All Mine
Light Beer House
Where’s The Remote?

 

One At A Time

Life And Beer Are Very Similar

Redneck Speed Bump

Studley Tool Chest

Shopping With Your Husband

PEI Weather

Math Lab Bust

Political Floor

Redneck Winter Tires

Fish Fingers

Costco Beach Towel

Handwritting

Down Under Statue

Random Acts Of Kindness (RAK) Day

Detroit Discovery

Spit Priorities

Enjoy The View

Locks Of Love

So You Want A Day Off

Save A Tree
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17-Feb-2019