Sorry About The Mess

“Housekeeper of the Year” award goes to...


This is a Houston apartment, found during a recent hurricane evacuation
inspection. By the looks of the stained couch cushions, she didn’t move
very far from here. This is NOT hurricane damage -
the apartment was found this way prior to the hurricane.
House hoarders - saving room for cigarette butts

Hard to believe there wasn’t a fire with all the cigarettes.
Did this woman ever hear of an ashtray? Nope - empty soda cups will do...
House hoarders - room full of garbage



All the Febreze, Clorox and bleach in the world isn’t going to help this mess!
House hoarders - kitchen leftovers

NOOOOOOOOO - not the computer!!!
House hoarders - computer cigarette butts

Notice the small “butt free” area around the bottom of the mouse where her
hand rubbed the mouse pad, and what keys on the keyboard that were used...
House hoarders - computer keyboard butts

Here come the gross parts...
House hoarders - bathroom butts

I’m sure she had intentions of cleaning, but probably put it off till tomorrow...
House hoarders - more bathroom butts

I don’t want to even think what that pile on the sink is...
House hoarders - and more bathroom butts and garbage

Always room for more pizza and do-nuts!
House hoarders - leftover food bonanza

House hoarders - mountain of garbage

Remember when you last said to a visitor,
“Sorry about the mess, I haven’t done my cleaning yet today!”
After looking at this, it’s safe to say that your house is not so bad after all...

QuotaBills
Every man is a king at home. - English Proverb

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

There will be no whitewash at the White House. - Richard M Nixon

At my house, Dust is a noun, not a verb. - Unknown

Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. - Rose Macaulay

Don't ya know it's bad luck to keep icrons in a Christian home? - Archie Bunker

Hidin' out in the house all the time, like some Bantam of the Opera. - Archie Bunker

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono

I have only one superstition. I make sure I touch all bases when I hit a home run. - Babe Ruth

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors. - Jay Leno

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is natural to a cockatoo. - George Bernard Shaw

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home. - Rodney Dangerfield

I am like a pelican of the wilderness: I am like an owl of the desert. I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house-top. - Bible

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare


see also  Stress  Section
Hoarder Car
It’s All Mine
Light Beer House
Where’s The Remote?

 

Ponge Bob

Bright Bookshelf

Let That Sink In

Lifting Heavy Objects

Black Friday Scam

Camel Photobomb

Leaky Pipes

Teabucks

CreepEye

Open For Business

Face Frost

Sleeping Guests

Garmin Drive

This Rocks

The Fall Of Adam

Canadian Archaeology

Unknown Assailant

Undergarment Financing

Shear Dog

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15-Nov-2018