Sorry About The Mess

“Housekeeper of the Year” award goes to...


This is a Houston apartment, found during a recent hurricane evacuation
inspection. By the looks of the stained couch cushions, she didn’t move
very far from here. This is NOT hurricane damage -
the apartment was found this way prior to the hurricane.
House hoarders - saving room for cigarette butts

Hard to believe there wasn’t a fire with all the cigarettes.
Did this woman ever hear of an ashtray? Nope - empty soda cups will do...
House hoarders - room full of garbage



All the Febreze, Clorox and bleach in the world isn’t going to help this mess!
House hoarders - kitchen leftovers

NOOOOOOOOO - not the computer!!!
House hoarders - computer cigarette butts

Notice the small “butt free” area around the bottom of the mouse where her
hand rubbed the mouse pad, and what keys on the keyboard that were used...
House hoarders - computer keyboard butts

Here come the gross parts...
House hoarders - bathroom butts

I’m sure she had intentions of cleaning, but probably put it off till tomorrow...
House hoarders - more bathroom butts

I don’t want to even think what that pile on the sink is...
House hoarders - and more bathroom butts and garbage

Always room for more pizza and do-nuts!
House hoarders - leftover food bonanza

House hoarders - mountain of garbage

Remember when you last said to a visitor,
“Sorry about the mess, I haven’t done my cleaning yet today!”
After looking at this, it’s safe to say that your house is not so bad after all...

QuotaBills
I look at Canada like a second home. - Prince Andrew

Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home. - Gary Snyder

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

Every strike brings me closer to the next home run. - Babe Ruth

Art is the only way to run away without leaving home. - Twyla Tharp

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. - George Carlin

I still close my eyes and go home... I can always draw from that. - Dolly Parton

Go often to the house of a friend, for weeds choke the unused path. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

Tell her I ain't crawlin' home to her with my tail between her legs. - Archie Bunker

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now. - Bob Newhart

Strength of character may be learned at work, but beauty of character is learned at home. - Henry Drummond

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Look for opportunity. You can't wait for it to knock on the door ... You might not be home. - Jinger Heath

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. - WC Fields

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. - Pearl Williams

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home. - Rodney Dangerfield

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

I am like a pelican of the wilderness: I am like an owl of the desert. I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house-top. - Bible

I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. - Steven Wright

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon

Charity is a very personal equation, like we say charity begins at home. It starts with your immediate help in the house: the people who work for you. - Malaika A. Khan


see also  Stress  Section
Hoarder Car
It’s All Mine
Light Beer House
Where’s The Remote?

 

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28-Sep-2016