Sorry About The Mess

“Housekeeper of the Year” award goes to...


This is a Houston apartment, found during a recent hurricane evacuation
inspection. By the looks of the stained couch cushions, she didn’t move
very far from here. This is NOT hurricane damage -
the apartment was found this way prior to the hurricane.
House hoarders - saving room for cigarette butts

Hard to believe there wasn’t a fire with all the cigarettes.
Did this woman ever hear of an ashtray? Nope - empty soda cups will do...
House hoarders - room full of garbage



All the Febreze, Clorox and bleach in the world isn’t going to help this mess!
House hoarders - kitchen leftovers

NOOOOOOOOO - not the computer!!!
House hoarders - computer cigarette butts

Notice the small “butt free” area around the bottom of the mouse where her
hand rubbed the mouse pad, and what keys on the keyboard that were used...
House hoarders - computer keyboard butts

Here come the gross parts...
House hoarders - bathroom butts

I’m sure she had intentions of cleaning, but probably put it off till tomorrow...
House hoarders - more bathroom butts

I don’t want to even think what that pile on the sink is...
House hoarders - and more bathroom butts and garbage

Always room for more pizza and do-nuts!
House hoarders - leftover food bonanza

House hoarders - mountain of garbage

Remember when you last said to a visitor,
“Sorry about the mess, I haven’t done my cleaning yet today!”
After looking at this, it’s safe to say that your house is not so bad after all...

QuotaBills
Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

A man in the house is worth two in the street. - Mae West

A dreaded disease is infilteratin' our home - Archie Bunker

He'd go through the house like Typhoon Mary. - Archie Bunker

Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

It is easier to demolish a house than to build one. - Irish proverb

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. - George Carlin

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. - Rose Macaulay

I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne Barr

When the snake is in the house, one need not discuss the matter at length. - African Saying

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

I have only one superstition. I make sure I touch all bases when I hit a home run. - Babe Ruth

What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on? - Henry David Thoreau

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is natural to a cockatoo. - George Bernard Shaw

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

Maybe more youngsters would stay home at nights if they were not afraid to stay alone at nights. - Herbert Prochnow

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate.
What's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House? - Will Rogers

What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

You reached into my soul and rearranged the position of my bones,
You rebuilt my rib cage so your heart could be home. - Unknown

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Science is built up with facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is not more a science than a heap of stones is a house. - Jules Poincare

I am a gypsy. I haven't had a home for a long time. Call me a homeless person - I just throw everything in a bag and I'm good to go. - Taylor Kinney

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell


see also  Stress  Section
Hoarder Car
It’s All Mine
Light Beer House
Where’s The Remote?

 

HunchBach

Coffin Escape

Second Hand Work

Wet Tents

Rattle Spit

Bobbie Tickle

When The Chips Are Down

Lego Key and Charger Holder

Mice Home

Quad (Hyper) Sudoku

iPhone Sushi

Free Stuff

House Maid For Men

UnBralievable

Highest Human Position In The World

Husband Space

No-Elephant Building

Page Lurker

Lofty Treehouses

Matchstick Racing Car
Submissions by Barry McCartneyFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

29-May-2017