Sorry About The Mess

“Housekeeper of the Year” award goes to...

This is a Houston apartment, found during a recent hurricane evacuation
inspection. By the looks of the stained couch cushions, she didn’t move
very far from here. This is NOT hurricane damage -
the apartment was found this way prior to the hurricane.
House hoarders - saving room for cigarette butts

Hard to believe there wasn’t a fire with all the cigarettes.
Did this woman ever hear of an ashtray? Nope - empty soda cups will do...
House hoarders - room full of garbage

All the Febreze, Clorox and bleach in the world isn’t going to help this mess!
House hoarders - kitchen leftovers

NOOOOOOOOO - not the computer!!!
House hoarders - computer cigarette butts

Notice the small “butt free” area around the bottom of the mouse where her
hand rubbed the mouse pad, and what keys on the keyboard that were used...
House hoarders - computer keyboard butts

Here come the gross parts...
House hoarders - bathroom butts

I’m sure she had intentions of cleaning, but probably put it off till tomorrow...
House hoarders - more bathroom butts

I don’t want to even think what that pile on the sink is...
House hoarders - and more bathroom butts and garbage

Always room for more pizza and do-nuts!
House hoarders - leftover food bonanza

House hoarders - mountain of garbage

Remember when you last said to a visitor,
“Sorry about the mess, I haven’t done my cleaning yet today!”
After looking at this, it’s safe to say that your house is not so bad after all...

I look at Canada like a second home. - Prince Andrew

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Art is the only way to run away without leaving home. - Twyla Tharp

What's the need of a home if you are never in it? - George Grossmith

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home. - Edward R. Murrow

While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. - Unknown

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. - George Carlin

At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. - Rose Macaulay

Hidin' out in the house all the time, like some Bantam of the Opera. - Archie Bunker

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

Now that the House of Commons is trying to become useful, it does a great deal of harm. - Oscar Wilde

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller

Strength of character may be learned at work, but beauty of character is learned at home. - Henry Drummond

I certainly don't live in a kosher home although I was raised in a kosher environment. - Leonard Nimoy

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

So finally, the great Jefferson, who always reclined to cross my freshhold is into the house. - Archie Bunker

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

Maybe more youngsters would stay home at nights if they were not afraid to stay alone at nights. - Herbert Prochnow

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above, so I never have to go upstairs. - Steven Wright

She did not know where her home was anymore, and this idea didn’t frighten her like it should. - T.M. Williams

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

How do we persevere when we're adrift at sea, severed from wherever or whomever is our 'home'? - Lois Anderson

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home. - Rodney Dangerfield

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home. - David Frost

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

Charity is a very personal equation, like we say charity begins at home. It starts with your immediate help in the house: the people who work for you. - Malaika A. Khan

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