Sorry About The Mess

“Housekeeper of the Year” award goes to...


This is a Houston apartment, found during a recent hurricane evacuation
inspection. By the looks of the stained couch cushions, she didn’t move
very far from here. This is NOT hurricane damage -
the apartment was found this way prior to the hurricane.
House hoarders - saving room for cigarette butts

Hard to believe there wasn’t a fire with all the cigarettes.
Did this woman ever hear of an ashtray? Nope - empty soda cups will do...
House hoarders - room full of garbage



All the Febreze, Clorox and bleach in the world isn’t going to help this mess!
House hoarders - kitchen leftovers

NOOOOOOOOO - not the computer!!!
House hoarders - computer cigarette butts

Notice the small “butt free” area around the bottom of the mouse where her
hand rubbed the mouse pad, and what keys on the keyboard that were used...
House hoarders - computer keyboard butts

Here come the gross parts...
House hoarders - bathroom butts

I’m sure she had intentions of cleaning, but probably put it off till tomorrow...
House hoarders - more bathroom butts

I don’t want to even think what that pile on the sink is...
House hoarders - and more bathroom butts and garbage

Always room for more pizza and do-nuts!
House hoarders - leftover food bonanza

House hoarders - mountain of garbage

Remember when you last said to a visitor,
“Sorry about the mess, I haven’t done my cleaning yet today!”
After looking at this, it’s safe to say that your house is not so bad after all...

QuotaBills
Home is a refuge for all good men. - Unknown

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home. - Gary Snyder

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

At my house, Dust is a noun, not a verb. - Unknown

There are no elevators in the house of success. - H.H. Vreeland

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

It is easier to demolish a house than to build one. - Irish proverb

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. - George Carlin

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

Welcome to our home. And as yous people say "shaboom" (shalom) - Archie Bunker

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

When the snake is in the house, one need not discuss the matter at length. - African Saying

Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in. - Robert Frost

I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors. - Jay Leno

This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now. - Bob Newhart

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is natural to a cockatoo. - George Bernard Shaw

So finally, the great Jefferson, who always reclined to cross my freshhold is into the house. - Archie Bunker

Look for opportunity. You can't wait for it to knock on the door ... You might not be home. - Jinger Heath

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it. - Don Fraser

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Science is built up with facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is not more a science than a heap of stones is a house. - Jules Poincare

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright


see also  Stress  Section
Hoarder Car
It’s All Mine
Light Beer House
Where’s The Remote?

 

Motorized Unicycle

Chair Man Mao

Racewagon

House Extension

I Do What I Want

Good Morning Babushka

No Service

Piranha on Steroids

Geek Piano

False Dreams

Before Emoticons

Aeroflot Announcement

Saskatchewan Cool

E.T. Never Left The Planet

SuperKid

Baby Illusion

Twin Load

Electrician's New Plug

I Found A Bear Cub!

Personal Pool
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

20-May-2018