Sorry About The Mess

“Housekeeper of the Year” award goes to...


This is a Houston apartment, found during a recent hurricane evacuation
inspection. By the looks of the stained couch cushions, she didn’t move
very far from here. This is NOT hurricane damage -
the apartment was found this way prior to the hurricane.
House hoarders - saving room for cigarette butts

Hard to believe there wasn’t a fire with all the cigarettes.
Did this woman ever hear of an ashtray? Nope - empty soda cups will do...
House hoarders - room full of garbage



All the Febreze, Clorox and bleach in the world isn’t going to help this mess!
House hoarders - kitchen leftovers

NOOOOOOOOO - not the computer!!!
House hoarders - computer cigarette butts

Notice the small “butt free” area around the bottom of the mouse where her
hand rubbed the mouse pad, and what keys on the keyboard that were used...
House hoarders - computer keyboard butts

Here come the gross parts...
House hoarders - bathroom butts

I’m sure she had intentions of cleaning, but probably put it off till tomorrow...
House hoarders - more bathroom butts

I don’t want to even think what that pile on the sink is...
House hoarders - and more bathroom butts and garbage

Always room for more pizza and do-nuts!
House hoarders - leftover food bonanza

House hoarders - mountain of garbage

Remember when you last said to a visitor,
“Sorry about the mess, I haven’t done my cleaning yet today!”
After looking at this, it’s safe to say that your house is not so bad after all...

QuotaBills
Every man is a king at home. - English Proverb

A good home must be made, not bought. - Joyce Maynard

There will be no whitewash at the White House. - Richard M Nixon

Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house. - Unknown

He's got that big house to maintain in San Clemency. - Archie Bunker

I just heard from Bill Bailey. He's not coming home. - Henny Youngman

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

To be happy in the home is the ultimate result of all ambition. - Samuel Johnson

I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas. - Hillary Clinton

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Hidin' out in the house all the time, like some Bantam of the Opera. - Archie Bunker

Tell her I ain't crawlin' home to her with my tail between her legs. - Archie Bunker

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

I have only one superstition. I make sure I touch all bases when I hit a home run. - Babe Ruth

What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on? - Henry David Thoreau

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it. - George Moore

A person is happiest whether they be rich or poor, when there is peace in their home. - Unknown

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby

If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, make an appointment. - Unknown

Maybe I'd like to run around the house my drawers, and with her here, I felt inhabited. - Archie Bunker

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

You need a plan to build a house. To build a life, it is even more important to have a plan or goal. - Zig Ziglar

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home. - David Frost

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place. - Emily Dickinson

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon

Charity is a very personal equation, like we say charity begins at home. It starts with your immediate help in the house: the people who work for you. - Malaika A. Khan


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24-Feb-2017