Birth Control At Its Finest

Abstinence: just say no

Taking the back seat back

Preventing back seat accidents



Back Seat Birth Control

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The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

Some of these people need ten years of therapy - ten sentences of mine do not equal ten years of therapy. - Oscar Wilde

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


see also   Medical  &  Relationship  Sections

 

Bone Appetite

Australia is OK

Earthquake Ready Building

Alien Light Sighting

Cinder Block Repair

What's That?

Kids Drive-In

Watching The World Cup

Sudoku Sampler B

Jewish Assembly

Child Prodigy

Tomato Treat

Drain Slide Bubbles

Water Break

Next, The Moon

Gourmet Kale

Frog Food

Programmer Logic

ASCII Art - Illusions

Spot the Thief
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19-Sep-2017