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Back Seat Birth Control

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

After your death, you will be what you were before your birth. - Arthur Schopenhauer

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

The paradigm of treating menopause symptoms with the lowest effective dose of hormone therapy, for the shortest period necessary, is very sensible. - Hugh Taylor

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