Massage Therapist

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Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

There are some things in life where it's better to receive than to give, and massage is one of them. - Al Michaels

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on a date. - Caroline Rhea

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer


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23-Sep-2017