Neighborhood Watch

Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Even snakes are afraid of snakes. - Steven Wright

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. - Robin Williams

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

If Adam and Eve were alive today, they would probably sue the snake. - Bern Williams

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

When the snake is in the house, one need not discuss the matter at length. - African Saying

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age. - Unknown

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner