Legal Bribe
A defendant
in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was saying to his lawyer,
“If I lose this
case, I'll be ruined.”
“It's in the judge's hands now,” said the lawyer.
“Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?” asked the defendant.
“Oh no!” said the lawyer.
“This judge
is a stickler for ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him
against you. He might even find you in contempt of the court. In fact, you
shouldn't even smile at the judge.”
Eventually, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left
the court-house, he said to his lawyer,
“Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It
worked."”
“I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them,” said the lawyer.
“But I did send them,” said the defendant.
“What? You
did?”
“Yes -
that's how we won the case.”
“I don't understand,” said the lawyer.
“It's easy.
I sent the cheapest cigars that I could find to the judge, but enclosed the
plaintiff's business card...”