Catholic Math

Renewed interest in math classes


Little Johnny was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they could think of. Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Johnny down & enrolled him in the local Catholic school.

After the first day, little Johnny came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn’t kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room & started studying. Books & papers were spread out all over the room and little Johnny was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute he was done he marched back to his room without a word and in no time he was back hitting the books as hard as before.

This went on for sometime, day after day while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Johnny brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table and went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, his mom looked at it and to her surprise, little Johnny got an A in math.

She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said, “Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?”
Little Johnny looked at her and shook his head, no.
“Well then,” she replied, “was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT was it?”
Little Johnny looked at her and said, “Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy on the wall nailed to the big plus sign, I knew they weren’t fooling around.”


QuotaBills
There is no royal road to geometry. - Euclid

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? - George Carlin

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries. - David Hilbert

Dear Math: I'm not a therapist. Solve your own problems. - Unknown

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

I had an Irish Catholic education. Horrible nuns, vindictive and cruel. - John Lydon

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them. - John von Neumann

To be safe at the expense of the liberty of other people is a difficult equation. - Madeleine Albright

If you took love out of the equation, I wouldn't know what else to write about. - Nick Cave

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. - Woody Allen

For the things of this world cannot be made known without a knowledge of mathematics. - Roger Bacon

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

If everybody in the world dropped out of school, we would have a much more intelligent society. - Jaden Smith

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic. - Kingsley Amis

If I feel unhappy, I do mathematics to become happy. If I am happy, I do mathematics to keep happy. - Alfred Renyi

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

At the end of the day if you want to entertain people, you've got to take your ego out of the equation. - Paul Feig

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell

Risk and failure is a part of our equation, and if you are seeing too little failure, you are actually probably not taking enough risks. - Peter Barris

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen


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26-Sep-2018