Catholic Math

Renewed interest in math classes


Little Johnny was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they could think of. Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Johnny down & enrolled him in the local Catholic school.

After the first day, little Johnny came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn’t kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room & started studying. Books & papers were spread out all over the room and little Johnny was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute he was done he marched back to his room without a word and in no time he was back hitting the books as hard as before.

This went on for sometime, day after day while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Johnny brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table and went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, his mom looked at it and to her surprise, little Johnny got an A in math.

She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said, “Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?”
Little Johnny looked at her and shook his head, no.
“Well then,” she replied, “was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT was it?”
Little Johnny looked at her and said, “Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy on the wall nailed to the big plus sign, I knew they weren’t fooling around.”


QuotaBills
There is no royal road to geometry. - Euclid

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis. - Robert Heilbroner

"Obvious" is the most dangerous word in mathematics. - Eric T. Bell

I am a great fan of science, but I cannot do a quadratic equation. - Terry Pratchett

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

I had an Irish Catholic education. Horrible nuns, vindictive and cruel. - John Lydon

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Mathematics consists of proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way. - George Polya

To be safe at the expense of the liberty of other people is a difficult equation. - Madeleine Albright

If you took love out of the equation, I wouldn't know what else to write about. - Nick Cave

In one equation you can solve all the puzzles of life. It is the equation of giving. - Amit Ray

Let us grant that the pursuit of mathematics is a divine madness of the human spirit. - Alfred Whitehead

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein

If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

I played basketball in high school, and I love watching sports - I'll watch everything except maybe hockey. - Andy Roddick

Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true. - Bertrand Russell

Mathematics may be compared to a mill of exquisite workmanship, which grinds your stuff to any degree of fineness. - Thomas Huxley

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost

Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable for the young, not too difficult, amusing, and without peril to the state. - Plato

Mathematics is indeed dangerous in that it absorbs students to such a degree that it dulls their senses to everything else. - Prinz zu Hohlenlohe-Ingelfingen Kraft

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

A formal manipulator in mathematics often experiences the discomforting feeling that his pencil surpasses him in intelligence. - Howard Eves

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform. - Bertrand Russell

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

You can't be afraid of getting old. Old is good, if you're gathering in life. Our band is good at understanding that equation. - Bruce Springsteen

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Risk and failure is a part of our equation, and if you are seeing too little failure, you are actually probably not taking enough risks. - Peter Barris

When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh

I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. - Thomas Mann

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown


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24-Apr-2019