Little Leprechaun

Irish ingenuity

What happens when you scare a national legend


Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes. When he went to wipe his fanny, there was no toilet paper... so he used his hand.

When he got back to class, his teacher asked, “What do you have in your hand?”
Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hand he’ll get scared away.”

He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him, “What do you have in your hand?”
So Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”

He was then sent home and his Mom asked him, “What do you have in your hand?”
So Little Johnny said, “Mom, it’s a little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”

He was sent to his room until his Dad came in and said, “What do you have in your hand?”
So again Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”
Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, “Open your hands NOW!”

And Little Johnny said, “Oh great Dad, now look what you did - you scared the crap out of him!”

QuotaBills
Everyone is wise until he speaks. - Irish Drinking Toast

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell

Yes, I am an Irish lass through and through. - Erin Andrews

Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce

Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh

Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth

I had that stubborn streak, the Irish in me I guess. - Gregory Peck

I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins

Yelling Irish, you can sound like an angry Leprechaun. - Norman Reedus

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell

Where would the Irish be without someone to be Irish at? - Elizabeth Bowen

Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part. - Irish Blessings

Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown

Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt

What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown

The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono

The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood

The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer

I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

I'm proud of my Irish heritage and culture and this show will feature a lot of Irish dancing. - Michael Flatley

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. - Oliver Herford

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

I'm Irish on St. Patrick's Day. I'm Italian on Columbus Day. I'm a New Yorker every day. - Tamara Tunie

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan


see also   Irish,  Little Johnny  &  St. Patrick’s Day   Sections
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Irish Blessings and Sayings
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29-Mar-2017