Little Leprechaun

Irish ingenuity

What happens when you scare a national legend


Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes. When he went to wipe his fanny, there was no toilet paper... so he used his hand.

When he got back to class, his teacher asked, “What do you have in your hand?”
Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hand he’ll get scared away.”

He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him, “What do you have in your hand?”
So Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”

He was then sent home and his Mom asked him, “What do you have in your hand?”
So Little Johnny said, “Mom, it’s a little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”

He was sent to his room until his Dad came in and said, “What do you have in your hand?”
So again Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”
Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, “Open your hands NOW!”

And Little Johnny said, “Oh great Dad, now look what you did - you scared the crap out of him!”

QuotaBills
I am very proud to be Irish. - Philip Treacy

I'm Irish. We think sideways. - Spike Milligan

I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

Yes, I am an Irish lass through and through. - Erin Andrews

When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh

My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong

I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

I'm an Irish Catholic and I have a long iceberg of guilt. - Edna O'Brien

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce

Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof

Irish people are educated not only about artistry but local history. - Fiona Shaw

Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw

I had an Irish Catholic education. Horrible nuns, vindictive and cruel. - John Lydon

I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono

There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying

The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan

Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy. - William Butler Yeats

I'm Irish on St. Patrick's Day. I'm Italian on Columbus Day. I'm a New Yorker every day. - Tamara Tunie

As I told Piers Morgan, 'Catholics have confession, whereas Northern Irish Protestants only have interviews.' - James Nesbitt

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody. - Brendan Behan

With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan

That's what the holidays are for - for one person to tell the stories and another to dispute them. Isn't that the Irish way? - Lara Flynn Boyle

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien


see also   Irish,  Little Johnny  &  St. Patrick’s Day   Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
The Fert
What’s Under The Kilt?

 

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19-Nov-2017