Little Leprechaun

Irish ingenuity

What happens when you scare a national legend


Little Johnny asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes. When he went to wipe his fanny, there was no toilet paper... so he used his hand.

When he got back to class, his teacher asked, “What do you have in your hand?”
Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hand he’ll get scared away.”

He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him, “What do you have in your hand?”
So Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”

He was then sent home and his Mom asked him, “What do you have in your hand?”
So Little Johnny said, “Mom, it’s a little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”

He was sent to his room until his Dad came in and said, “What do you have in your hand?”
So again Little Johnny said, “A little leprechaun, and if I open my hands he’ll get scared away.”
Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, “Open your hands NOW!”

And Little Johnny said, “Oh great Dad, now look what you did - you scared the crap out of him!”

QuotaBills
No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

I am very proud to be Irish. - Philip Treacy

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh

The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan

I have a thing for red-haired Irish boys, as we know. - Sandra Bullock

I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford

I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks. - Brendan Behan

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown

The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Samuel Johnson

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof

Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Colin Farrell

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

We Irish will never achieve anything; but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks. - Oscar Wilde

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery

I think I'm going to keep my Irish accent forever now in any movie I make, because chicks dig it. - Chris O'Dowd

The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle

I'm Irish on St. Patrick's Day. I'm Italian on Columbus Day. I'm a New Yorker every day. - Tamara Tunie

I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison

That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Franklin D. Roosevelt: "Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?",
New York Mayor Al Smith: "Do we now?" - Franklin D Roosevelt


see also   Irish,  Little Johnny  &  St. Patrick’s Day   Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
The Fert
What’s Under The Kilt?

 

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18-Jan-2018