St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
One of the girls must be quite ill
Tall Irish tales

“I’ve Lost Me Luggage”

An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick. “No,” replied the Irishman. “I’ve lost all me luggage!”
“How’d that happen?” “The cork fell out!” said the Irishman.

Water To Wine

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?”
“Just water,” says the priest.
The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?”
The priest looks at the bottle and says, “Good Lord! He’s done it again!”

The Reunion

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why, of course,” comes the reply.
The first man then asks, “Where are you from?”
“I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man.
The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s have another round to Ireland.” “Of course,” says the second. Curious, the first asks: “Where in Ireland?” “Dublin,” comes the reply.
“I can’t believe it, Me too! Lets have another round of drinks to Dublin.”
“Of course” The second man can’t help himself so he asks, “What school did you attend?”
“Saint Mary’s”, replies the first man. “I graduated in ’62.”
“This is becoming unbelievable!!!” They say in unison. About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
“What’s up?” he asks the bartender.
“Nothing much,” replied the bartender.
“The O’Malley twins are drunk again!”

The Brothel

Two Irishmen were sitting a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin’ bad.”
Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin’ victim to temptation.”
Then they saw a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, “What a terrible pity... one of the girls must be quite ill.”

Lost At Sea

Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, “Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!” The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: “Nice going Patrick! Now we’re going to have to pee in the boat.”

see also   Irish  &  St. Patrick’s Day   Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Little Leprechaun
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
Swimming Buddies
What’s Under The Kilt?

How to repair broken Easter eggs
Broken Egg
Potato Chip Factory Burns To A Crisp
Crisp Chips
Hop into this rabbit transit Easter car!
Easter Car
Bubba's directions to his special garage sale
Groj Sale In The Country
Latest Word Search Puzzle: Titanic Third Class Passengers
Word Search Puzzles
You're no bunny 'til some bunny loves you!
2014 Bunny Calendar
Use commas, and never miss a period
Practice Safe Text
T-Shirt sales for Rabbis on the go
Create stimulating baby tonic from nourishing beer malt
Beer Baby
Parting the waters ahead of his time
Moses As A Lifeguard
Don't bother looking for Easter eggs this year
Easter Lost
The Easter Story
Jerusalem Obituary, 33 A.D.
Bearing the cross at Easter
The Crucifixion
How trees and shrubs celebrate in an Easter forest
Easter Party
Diorama depiction of Jesus' tomb
Easter Sepulcher
Undercover policeman gets arrested by one of his own
Police Arrest
Warning for Easter breakfast: Beware of firm eggs!
Firm Egg
Submissions by Marian RenstromFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site


QR Code


Image Challenge
Wong Motor Home
Fix The Outhouse, Pa!
The Mother of all Mouse ...
Mink Love
Waiting For Windows To ...
Abandon Ship - Japanese ...
Kitchen Medicine Cabine ...
Siamese Pike Twins
Cornfield Fishing
Portable Lawn Mower
Hopscotch for Seniors
New Cell Phones
Most Famous Man
Ma and Pa Math: 5 into ...
Redneck ATV
Meals On Wheels
Revenue Canada Simplifi ...
Redneck Parking Brake
40 Things Never Said By ...
Chair Man Mao
Propeller Merits
Toilet Paper For The Mo ...
Clean Your Lens NOT
Erkel Economy
Daily Exercise for Seni ...
Bloodsucker Bank
Pipe Pants
Redneck Marriage
Taste of Olympic Succes ...
Book Collector's Search ...
Looking For Something?
Chia Car
Sleeping Robins
Foosball Maze
Blonde's 710 Cover
A Typical Winter Day in ...
Help For The Snoring Hu ...
Urban Camper
Dog Walking - Remotely
Headset Warning
World's 1st All-Glass U ...
Important Phone Call
The Perfect Couple
Owlympics Bobsled
Wet Wish
Nintendo Wedding Cake
Doctor, Doctor Joe-ks
I Love New Recipes
Dear Bank Manager: Ban ...
Autumn Turnover
Super Squirrel
'USB Device Not Recogni ...
Don't Forget Her Specia ...
New Parking Spot For Wo ...
No Service
Snail Time
Big Rocks First
Best Dog Costume Ever
Diet Spoon
Easy Mopping
Signs for the Modern Wo ...
Deep Thoughts
Redneck Birth Announcem ...
Medieval History by Col ...
Moses' Headache Relief ...
It's Safe To Come Out N ...
Ukrainian Horse Transpo ...
Biblical Humour
Traffic Hourglass
British Generosity
Self Defense While Work ...
High Heel Motorcycle
Negotiations in Israel
Fencing Down Under
The Power Of Faith
Chicken CPR
Redneck Car Seats
Parent Delete
Cell Phones Can Cause A ...
Cat Toothbrush
Throne Collector
Taking Care of Church G ...
Prison Escapee's Not-Qu ...
Ultrasafe Hormone Warni ...
God is Impartial
Word Search Puzzles