St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
One of the girls must be quite ill
Tall Irish tales

“I’ve Lost Me Luggage”

An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick. “No,” replied the Irishman. “I’ve lost all me luggage!”
“How’d that happen?” “The cork fell out!” said the Irishman.

Water To Wine

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?”
“Just water,” says the priest.
The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?”
The priest looks at the bottle and says, “Good Lord! He’s done it again!”

The Reunion

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why, of course,” comes the reply.
The first man then asks, “Where are you from?”
“I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man.
The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s have another round to Ireland.” “Of course,” says the second. Curious, the first asks: “Where in Ireland?” “Dublin,” comes the reply.
“I can’t believe it, Me too! Lets have another round of drinks to Dublin.”
“Of course” The second man can’t help himself so he asks, “What school did you attend?”
“Saint Mary’s”, replies the first man. “I graduated in ’62.”
“This is becoming unbelievable!!!” They say in unison. About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
“What’s up?” he asks the bartender.
“Nothing much,” replied the bartender.
“The O’Malley twins are drunk again!”

The Brothel

Two Irishmen were sitting a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin’ bad.”
Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin’ victim to temptation.”
Then they saw a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, “What a terrible pity... one of the girls must be quite ill.”

Lost At Sea

Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, “Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!” The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: “Nice going Patrick! Now we’re going to have to pee in the boat.”

see also   Irish  &  St. Patrick’s Day   Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Little Leprechaun
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
Swimming Buddies
What’s Under The Kilt?

Latest Chess Sudoku Puzzle: #15327
Chess Sudoku Puzzles
How grandpa communicates with the baby
Mustache Soother
Finding a place on the roof for gun control
Gun Exhaust
Coffee creation from Sydney, Australia
Cup of Mona Lisa
Where shed baby teeth go after the pillow
Tooth Ferry
How to stand alone as a Grandmaster
Chess On The Wall
A watered-down Apple - water ya see is water ya get!
At least Google driverless cars stay on the road
Found The Apple Maps Car
Some salt licks are disguised as dogs
Speaking in Tongues for Animals
Why does everything always happen to me?
Baby's Off Day
Now Bubba can keep track of how many days 'til Christmas
Redneck Advent Calendar
Spam garburator - giving the boot to unsolicited mail
Mac Mailbox
Easing the stress of a hurt relationship
Falling In Love
Rider Fans are coming to Calgary
Grey Cup Fever
Trying to get out of style
Straightjacket Fashion
Looking for used snow removal equipment?
Snow Is Coming
Even the honeymoon suite is just Duck-e!
Hunter's Dream Wedding
Submissions by Marian RenstromFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site


QR Code


Kid Cam
Mother-In-Law Seat
Crocodile Escape
Speaking Out on Minorit ...
Lizard Hairstyle
Orthodox Weapon
Money Isn't Everything
Quiet Place To Study
Gateway To Obesity
Irish Beef
God's Billboard
Irish Dock Overboard Oh ...
Deer Hunting Bird
Simple Solutions
Redneck Fire Hose Rodeo
Bedworthy Bartender
New Speed Trap
Easter Cats
Broken Egg
Almost Batman
One-Question IQ Test
Juggler Plays Piano Wit ...
Tired Of Snow
Fits Perfectly
New Man Group
Redneck Advent Calendar
Mail Bonding
I Found A Bear Cub!
A Woman's Mind
I Want My Own Room
Tea Shirt
Balloon Gas
Flash Mob
Cushion Chair Shoes
Statue of Libertea
Snail On The Run
Health Tips for Fat Fri ...
Birding Skills 101
Real Waterbed
Bier Making Oudfit - Ba ...
Houston Space Problem
Coffin Dragster
Gas Prices' Effect on G ...
Military Dumpster
Computer SuperUser - a. ...
Kickstarter Funding for ...
Going Green for Ireland
Gas Saving Motorcyclist
Violint Endings
Wet Suit Danger
Amish Friends
Tongue TwistHer
Duckling Dog
Puzzle Makers
Hawaiian Surfboard Trad ...
Cow Gate
Beach Bash
World's Largest Sudoku ...
Tile House
Halloween Birth
Copenhagen Tour
Something Fishy
Ant Attack
VW Garden
How To Reduce Complaint ...
Front Row Seats
Knowing A Little Greek
My Wife Won't Like It
Flatulence Problem
Too Late Sign
Dog Birthday
Designer Shoes
Motion Detector Camera ...
Pool Pool
Toilet Paper For The Mo ...
Hummers Only Look Tough
Math Dice
Swiss Minigun
Blind (Braille) Sudoku ...
Dedicated Manager
Key Frame
Just Saying Goodbye
Stealth Graffiti
Ultimate PC Home Entert ...
Eight Words with Male a ...
The Buffalo Theory
Guinness World Record C ...
Calling In Sick - Snow ...