“I’ve Lost Me Luggage”
An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick. “No,” replied
the Irishman. “I’ve lost all me luggage!”
Water To Wine
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the
floor of the car.
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
“Why, of course,” comes the reply.
Two Irishmen were sitting a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a
Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to
see a man of the cloth goin’ bad.”
Lost At Sea
Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a
burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, Patrick stumbled across
an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To
the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that
he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the
matter, Patrick blurted out, “Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!” The
genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into
the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the
gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their
circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a
long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: “Nice going Patrick! Now we’re going to have
to pee in the boat.”
see also Irish & St. Patrick’s Day Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Weather Forecasting
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
What’s Under The Kilt?