joe-ks.com



St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
One of the girls must be quite ill
Tall Irish tales

“I’ve Lost Me Luggage”

An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick. “No,” replied the Irishman. “I’ve lost all me luggage!”
“How’d that happen?” “The cork fell out!” said the Irishman.


Water To Wine

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?”
“Just water,” says the priest.
The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?”
The priest looks at the bottle and says, “Good Lord! He’s done it again!”


The Reunion

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why, of course,” comes the reply.
The first man then asks, “Where are you from?”
“I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man.
The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s have another round to Ireland.” “Of course,” says the second. Curious, the first asks: “Where in Ireland?” “Dublin,” comes the reply.
“I can’t believe it, Me too! Lets have another round of drinks to Dublin.”
“Of course” The second man can’t help himself so he asks, “What school did you attend?”
“Saint Mary’s”, replies the first man. “I graduated in ’62.”
“This is becoming unbelievable!!!” They say in unison. About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
“What’s up?” he asks the bartender.
“Nothing much,” replied the bartender.
“The O’Malley twins are drunk again!”


The Brothel

Two Irishmen were sitting a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin’ bad.”
Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin’ victim to temptation.”
Then they saw a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, “What a terrible pity... one of the girls must be quite ill.”


Lost At Sea

Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, “Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!” The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: “Nice going Patrick! Now we’re going to have to pee in the boat.”

see also   Irish  &  St. Patrick’s Day   Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Little Leprechaun
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
Swimming Buddies
What’s Under The Kilt?

Where Vegan hunters put their trophies
Vegetarian Wall Mounts
Latest Jigsaw Puzzle: #14138
Jigsaw Puzzles
Fur-get me knot!
Mink Love
Preview of this fall's leather jacket selections
Cow Jacket
Latest Word Search Puzzle: Retro Cross #28
Word Search Puzzles
Recipes for baking at the correct angle
Protractor Cook
Create your own annoying potholes!
New Speed Trap
Where hotmail first got its moniker
Microwave Mailbox
And the biggest and best is yet to come!
Blonde's Cooking Diary
My boss's idea of going on a holiday
Calculator Flip Flops
A birthday greeting to hold on to
Cheap Birthday Card
Runs on corn...just like joe-ks.com!
Hillbilly Cowasaki Motorcycle
Tips for building a lasting and loving relationship
A Good Woman
When one snowball is not cute enough
Snowball Dogs
Walking through history in Budapest, Hungary
Shoes On The Danube Bank
Where is the center of your faith?
Center Of The Bible
How children boast about Daddy's job
My Dad Works With Snakes
Submissions by Marian RenstromFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

01-Sep-2014

QR Code

G'Oldies

Little Johnny's Grace-F ...
Out Of Gas
Explain This To Your Bo ...
9 Month Scale
Nun's Bedpan Gas
Manitoba Home Security ...
Johnny On The Pot's Plu ...
Redneck Special Forces
Pumpkin Pie Maker
Life Observations
Cats and Backpacks
Yam, Little Sweet Potat ...
Bird Flu Symptoms
Jesus On The Beach
Shopping Cart Hotplate
Shrinking Haze
Swine Flu Symptoms
Hedge Face
Parachute Dropouts
Urban Camper
You Want Me To Do What?
Van Go
Bowl Of Chili
Time To Hang Up The Tho ...
Health Tip
Redneck Letter - From M ...
Love Bike
Family Tent
Texas Car Wash
Best Knockout Ever
Hotel Waterfall
Jockey Racing
To Catch A Coin Thief
Texas Bakery
Coffee And Viagra
Redneck Motorcycle Tran ...
HHO Water Power
Car Stereo Without The ...
Life Cycle of a Chicken
Dear Deer Yarn
Scuba Diving Cat
Redneck Mama Calls For ...
Holey Golfing
Alaskan Summer
25 Toes
Gifts For The Teacher
Wrap Around Towel
How Babies Are Made In ...
Donald Trump Eagle
'Back' To Work
Swim-In Bedroom Design
IRS Toothpaste
Chicken CPR
Open Goal Forgiveness
'David and Goliath' Sum ...
Pilot's Seeing Eye Dog
Water Skier A-Head Of H ...
Redneck Dog
Shopping In Texas
Flower Shop For Men
Sign Model
Perfect Super Bowl Seat
Cold Weather Travel War ...
Croc Surfing
Finger Physio
Dedicated Manager
Weather Warning
Redneck Paintball / Duc ...
David Cameron Speech
David's Return To Italy
Open Goal Forgiveness
Amish Friends
Vantastic
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Saskatchewan Mosquito
Air-To-Ground Speeding ...
Coke's Special Ingredie ...
Blues Brothers Pancakes
Modern Conversion Table ...
British Power Smart
How Men Think
Niger River Crocodile
Kodak Moment
Submarine Racing
Wok-a-Way: Wok - Don't ...
Love Not Knot
Dentist Bowling
Bird Flu Prevention