St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
One of the girls must be quite ill
Tall Irish tales

“I’ve Lost Me Luggage”

An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick. “No,” replied the Irishman. “I’ve lost all me luggage!”
“How’d that happen?” “The cork fell out!” said the Irishman.

Water To Wine

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?”
“Just water,” says the priest.
The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?”
The priest looks at the bottle and says, “Good Lord! He’s done it again!”

The Reunion

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why, of course,” comes the reply.
The first man then asks, “Where are you from?”
“I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man.
The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s have another round to Ireland.” “Of course,” says the second. Curious, the first asks: “Where in Ireland?” “Dublin,” comes the reply.
“I can’t believe it, Me too! Lets have another round of drinks to Dublin.”
“Of course” The second man can’t help himself so he asks, “What school did you attend?”
“Saint Mary’s”, replies the first man. “I graduated in ’62.”
“This is becoming unbelievable!!!” They say in unison. About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
“What’s up?” he asks the bartender.
“Nothing much,” replied the bartender.
“The O’Malley twins are drunk again!”

The Brothel

Two Irishmen were sitting a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin’ bad.”
Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin’ victim to temptation.”
Then they saw a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, “What a terrible pity... one of the girls must be quite ill.”

Lost At Sea

Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, “Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!” The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: “Nice going Patrick! Now we’re going to have to pee in the boat.”

see also   Irish  &  St. Patrick’s Day   Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Little Leprechaun
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
Swimming Buddies
What’s Under The Kilt?

We know
We Open
Do you suffer from double blurred vision?
Why Easter has been canceled this year
Easter Canceled
Muscle cars in East European countries
Stolen Car
Slide out kitchen drawers for the pant-ry
Caught By The Drawers
How to repair broken Easter eggs
Broken Egg
If it's in stock we have it
In Stock Guarantee
Allusion to Illusion
Stealth Woman
What some Australians look like 'Down Under'
Small Aussie Babies
Latest Samurai Sudoku Puzzle: #14670-74
Samurai Sudoku Puzzles
Got a beef about your job?
Re-Cycled Beef
Is there any lean, gluten-free bacon?
Bacon Munchies
Creative Easter Chocolate - seal'ed and hopping with calories
Chocolate Easter Bunnies
How to promote your business by sitting down on the job
Johnny On The Pot's Plumber Truck
How to put out paper fires at work
Blowing Out The Fire
Resuscitation for tired garden ornaments
Broken Potted Plant Art
Newest model Ukrainian work truck - Bubba's envious!
Ukrainian Model T
Submissions by Marian RenstromFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site


QR Code


Foosball Maze
Ogden Nash Quotes
Why iPad Won't Replace ...
When It's Game Time, It ...
Amish Segway
Chain Gang Message 4U
Coke Heads
Super Squirrel
Nursing Home Care
Shopping In Texas
Carpet Lump Repairman
Complaint Jar
Flower Dress
Hot Air Balloon Illusio ...
Living On The Edge
Crazy Laws
Newfie's Favourite Cold ...
Subway Dinner
Final Product
Irish Flood
Young Body Painter
Preaching To A Bear
Anyone Caught Your Eye ...
One Tough Lady!
Welcome To Scotland
Golf Club Privileges
Jim's Happy Hour
Albino Moose
Biker Love
Touchy Subject
Pinocchio Playground
Zoo Invitation
Pregnant Belly Art
Perfect Defense Line
New World Trade Center, ...
Cowboy's Wedding Night
Your First Motorcycle
Computers of the Future ...
Surf-In Lunch Snack
Snow Bowl
Married Man's Harley
Give Her Crabs For Chri ...
BIG Texas Rattlesnake
Now That's A Dog House
Locked Luggage
Welcome To Scotland
Instant Cats
Your Headlight Fluid's ...
God's Billboard
Bridge Washout Sign wit ...
iPhone Dock
Car Hosers
Are Horizontal Lines Pa ...
Helicopter Mother Load
The Ant and The Grassho ...
Sick Manager
Canadian North Cookbook
Moojita Scale
Glass World - Where Plu ...
The Stoned Age and Judy ...
Childproof Drawer
Head Loose Socket
Roller Coaster Skiing
Computer Challenged
Microsoft Office Window ...
Overdue Excuses Awards ...
Loo View
Hymns For All Occasions
Heineken Meets Star War ...
Proof That There Is Wat ...
Apple Car
Friendship Prayer
Crochet Doll Collection
One Glass Per Day
Re-Cycled Beef
Forest Service Complain ...
What Do You See? - Part ...
Anger Management Suppos ...
Habs vs ReHabs
Snowball Dogs
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Looking For Something?
Stop Cutting Trees!
Dog Days of Summer
Hospital Friends
Bumper To Bumper on the ...
Redneck Snow Plow