St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
One of the girls must be quite ill
Tall Irish tales

“I’ve Lost Me Luggage”

An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick. “No,” replied the Irishman. “I’ve lost all me luggage!”
“How’d that happen?” “The cork fell out!” said the Irishman.

Water To Wine

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?”
“Just water,” says the priest.
The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?”
The priest looks at the bottle and says, “Good Lord! He’s done it again!”

The Reunion

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why, of course,” comes the reply.
The first man then asks, “Where are you from?”
“I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man.
The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s have another round to Ireland.” “Of course,” says the second. Curious, the first asks: “Where in Ireland?” “Dublin,” comes the reply.
“I can’t believe it, Me too! Lets have another round of drinks to Dublin.”
“Of course” The second man can’t help himself so he asks, “What school did you attend?”
“Saint Mary’s”, replies the first man. “I graduated in ’62.”
“This is becoming unbelievable!!!” They say in unison. About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
“What’s up?” he asks the bartender.
“Nothing much,” replied the bartender.
“The O’Malley twins are drunk again!”

The Brothel

Two Irishmen were sitting a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin’ bad.”
Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin’ victim to temptation.”
Then they saw a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, “What a terrible pity... one of the girls must be quite ill.”

Lost At Sea

Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, “Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!” The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: “Nice going Patrick! Now we’re going to have to pee in the boat.”

see also   Irish  &  St. Patrick’s Day   Sections
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Birth Control
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Little Leprechaun
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
Swimming Buddies
What’s Under The Kilt?

Hospital introduces new 'Meals On Wheels' Program
Formula One Wheelchair
Diet plans with no calory limits - until you start eating...
Milkshake Diet
Seeing eye to eye towards a relationship that gives a hoot
Owl Friends
Latest Word Search Puzzle: World Countries
Word Search Puzzles
Lock Out for the latest bite-size Burglar Alarm System
Hungry Door Lock
The medical truth about Johann Sebastian Bach
VW Beetles now available in designer insect models
Beetle's Beetle
Fishing for a better relationship
Great Crab Day
What you expect Down Under for a government-funded roads
Mea Culpa Road
Eat your breakfast one byte at a time
Geek Breakfast
Popular shots and shooters a bartender should know
Missed Shots
Preparing for an Easter Egg Hunt in Israel
Easter Egg Hunt
How to ruin a romantic evening
Romance Lost
Making the best of road congestion
Traffic Hammock
A too-many-chocolate-eggs after Easter bunny
Stuffed Bunny
What the Easter Bunny does after all the busy Easter work is done
After Easter Bunny
He is Risen, He is Risen Indeed!
The Resurrection
Submissions by Marian RenstromFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site


QR Code


Whale Circumcision
Redneck Ear Phone
Cat's Epson Trap Door
No Name Toilet Paper
BrokeBack Ballet
Pet Mouse
It's A Pittance Of Time
Something Fishy
'Don't Mess With Me' Do ...
Hunting Partners
Michael Phelps - In The ...
Safe Swimming
Moses' USB Tablets
His Dent
New Fuel Gauge for 2005
Employee Happiness Kit
Coke's Special Ingredie ...
Rush Hour Non-Traffic
Camouflage Beer Bus
Boar-ing Nature Tours
Biting Shoes
Sock Storage
When The Deer Hunt The ...
Toll Booth Speed Limit
Puppy Special
Reflective Art
Redneck Wireless Securi ...
Statue Unveiled
12 Days of Christmas - ...
Green Beards
Plane Oops!
A Woman's Mind
'Looking Good' Wireless
Snake Circle
Slip Sliding Away
Norvegian Humour
Alaskan Summer
Roller Coaster Escalato ...
Not Alone
Hymns For All Occasions
Credit Corpsoration
Invisible Homeless Man
Wing Support
Overloaded Bookshop
Bird Chocolate
Economy Flight Plan
Mexican Recliners
Winter Tires
Nine People - Can You F ...
Texas Cow Cleaner
Big Portion Postcard De ...
Coast Guard Cutbacks
Water Supply
Wooden Boat by Master C ...
Bike Bed
Safe Sex Dress
Zipper Pavement
Future Corrections Offi ...
Redneck Date
Newfie Screech
Cat Printer
Head Butt
Blonde Golf-Her
Weight Watchers Bus
Octopus vs. Shark
Ingrown Motorcycle
For Those Who Love Thei ...
Dead Poirot
Redneck Trike
Redneck Wedding Limo
Pulley Car
Lawntastic Scenery
Bud Light Dog
Dryland Fishing
Irish Flood
Why Men Shouldn't Take ...
Definition of a Consult ...
Driving Test Question
Pumpkin Art
Anti-Tech Words
Pigeon Drink
South African Handshake
Goat Tree
Original SUV
Computer Challenged
Christmas Pencil Sharpe ...
PLO X-Ray - Concealed W ...