Understanding Women

Genie in a bottle - one wish 4U...


A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, “Lord grant me one wish.” Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.”

The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want.”

The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify me.”

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, “Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say “nothing”, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”

The Lord replied, “You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?”


QuotaBills
Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. - Oscar Wilde

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. - Phyllis Diller

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game. - Unknown

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic. - Drew Barrymore

Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. - Helen Rowland

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Relationships are about give and take; not tit-for-tat. If you're keeping score, you'll lose at your own game. - Faydra D. Fields

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

The greatest mistake we humans make in our relationships: we listen half, understand quarter, think zero, and react double. - Unknown

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash


see also   Genie  &  Relationship  Sections
Understanding Women - Pocket Edition

A Mother’s Love
A Woman’s Mind
Bedside Non-Assistance
Before Online Dating
Everything Men Know About Women
Hormone Guide
Keyboard Wedding
Looking For Your Wife?
Looking Small
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
When Men Shop For Groceries
Will To Live
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

Creative Charity

Woodcutter Birthday Cake

New Lighting Standard for Apartment Buildings

Where I Live

Beware of Atlanta Fountain Equiptment

Hole In One

City Overview

WingMen

Many Mouths To Feed

Self Portrait for Squirrels

Redneck Carriage Car

All Mine

Programmer Logic

Home Depot Delivery

Estonia Vodka
Submissions by Bob McLarenFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

24-Apr-2017