Redneck Marriage

“I object, your honour!”

When wedding vows get in the way of the ceremony





QuotaBills
Marry money. - Max Shulman

One does not marry art. One ravishes it. - Edgar Degas

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

If you make yourselves sheep, the wolves will eat you. - Benjamin Franklin

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - Arab Proverb

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove. - Mark Twain

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. - James Bovard

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. - Mickey Rooney

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller


see also   Redneck  &  Wedding  Sections

 

Wedding Dress For Sale

Items Of Value

Redneck Fence

Snake Wrap Dress

Lakescape

Hippo Racing

Hurricane Irene

Luxury Bungalows

Day At The Beach

Something Fishy

Eavestrough Cat

Bomb Squad Notice

Church Sign Messages

Aussie Car Alarm

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Benched Puppies

Redneck Spatula

If Men Did Housework

Bag Hang-Up

Tired Truck
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

15-Oct-2018