Redneck Marriage

“I object, your honour!”

When wedding vows get in the way of the ceremony





QuotaBills
I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. - James Goldsmith

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Men are my hobby. If I ever got married, I'd have to give it up. - Mae West

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - Arab Proverb

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor


see also   Redneck  &  Wedding  Sections

 

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20-Mar-2019